To feel upset I’m no better off after personal stylist?

[Annie2163]

I had a personal stylist appointment from a big departmental store thinking they would help me pick out a few outfits to make me feel good about myself as I have a few events coming up I’m nervous for. DH looked after the kids to give me time and space for this appointment (he rarely looks after them so a big surprise for me). I had really high hopes but I’m left really disappointed. I explained my style to her and even the clothes I wouldn’t wear I told her when she showed to me but I still tried on. I ended up buying 3 dresses, 3 tops and 2 trousers. It cost a lot of money as they not cheap and I felt the tailoring and fabric of expensive clothes would suit (as she told be they would). I’ve had them for a few days now and I’m not happy and I want to return. I FaceTimed my sister to show her and she agrees they don’t suit me. She thinks one dress is okay and I should keep (this dress is £190) the other 2 she said are awful as they really show the fat on my tummy whilst the other one kind of hides it with the pleats etc.

I am really upset about wasting my time and money. I kept telling the stylist my areas of concern and she kept brushing me off saying I’m probably brainwashed by social media thinking of the perfect body should look like and my body is great. But surely accentuating my worst feature (my tummy area) is not good? The rest of my body I like such as my arms and legs. I just feel I could have done a better job at picking up some pieces from cheaper brands and look better. I have no family or friends here to look after the kids so this was such a treat for me. I have to return the clothes and just look online. Has anyone actually used a personal stylist and gone away with nice clothes? My first event is next week I’m really dreading it. I’ll probably just won’t go as usual.

edited for all the typos! Sorry!

Hi OP. When i look at the mums at our school gate, we all come in very different shapes and sizes. Don't let your body dictate where you go and what you do, and certainly don't listen to your dope of a husband crabbing about it.

It sounds like the stylist service wasnt very good, but just send back what clothes you can and draw a line under it. Get online and buy a few bits that look more your thing.

Best of luck xxx

I get what you are saying and I dont mean to derail the thread but Roman is one of very few affordable brands who offer a genuine petite range and obviously I’m applying this to myself and not the OP but good well fitting clothes are a godsend when you aren’t even 5ft tall. It’s not just a case of just altering the length.

Roman is affordable, thankfully. Not much is. Used to love Wallis petite.

Yep. My big tummy was an almost 6kg cyst.

Return them if you dont love the items. You will never wear them .
I guess the woman works at the store and has sales targets to meet 😒
I have had my colours done, then for my 40th went back for a styling session. They asked me lots of questions around my personality, took measurements for body shape and I bought along 10 pieces of clothing I love/wear a lot and a few I never wear.
Following these appointments I am much clearer about what suits me and know that what I buy now, will hopefully be with me for years. I have specific neck limes, dress styles, trouser lengths, jean colours etc to hone in on amd can forget fashion trends that don't suit me.
There was an option to go shopping with the stylist but this was too expensive for me. She did find a few things online during my appointment and suggested certain brands that i'd suit.

@Annie2163 I hope you've had more luck on the S&B boards now, I also had a really awful experience with a stylist (in John Lewis no less!) where I had to hold back tears the whole time and felt absolutely shamed afterwards. The guy was trying his best but I had requested petite clothes (I'm short but not skinny, also with weight on my belly). They had nothing petite so nothing fitted and my body looked awful. Never again. You are not alone, but you will find a brand and style that suits and it'll make you feel so much more confident. Then you can buy from that brand again and again, I feel like doing this has saved my sanity.

Just to say about your husband comparing you overtly to other women and trying to guilt you, that’s disgusting quite frankly. Don’t put up with this s**t. Look at what’s causing you to have a bad diet and see if you can help yourself to feel better. Get out for some walks and try and avoid the sweet stuff. Do it for you though, not him. For the event you’ll find a flattering dress 👗. But do all of it for you, not him.

I would return the item but ask to speak to the store manager and explain everything you have said, see if the store manager can give someone more experience to help you pick more suitable items

Was this John Lewis? I have had one really good experience with them and one very similar to yours. Like you I was incredibly disappointed. I agree with returning the clothes but also do try a different stylist there as the good one was excellent

Just return all of unworn and wear something you feel amazing in

They don't get any commission, so they have no reason to put any effort in if you do buy, except, oh I don't know, professional pride? Customer service?
And the JLP stylists are not only on minimum wage

You’re correct …They are on slightly above minimum wage. Working for John Lewis is no picnic anymore so a lot of them don’t have the John Lewis pride. I think you’re overestimating the love they have for the job.

Thank you so much everyone. I did e d up returning every item and yes it was John Lewis stylist! Never again. I didn’t end up posting on style and beauty as I wanted to try on my own first and I found some lovely clothes. I didn’t get any dresses as I figured out I can still wear some of my old ones do I got some nice trousers and tops. I spent over £400 in john lewis in the stylist appointment! The clothes I chose myself I feel so much better and I spent £170 in total. I can’t believe one of the tops the stylist chose for me from ted baker or French connection was £89 and I got the same one from H and M for £18! You can’t even tell the difference.

Hi OP

No wonder you're depressed, sorry but your husband sounds absolutely awful. He directly compares you to other women?! And implies youve let yourself go. When actually you're a completely normal size. It's really sad that you're considering not going to events because you feel too self conscious, it sounds like his unkind words are having such a bad effect on your self esteem. It also sounds like you get no time for yourself - if him looking after the kids is a rare treat. Would he not look after them more so you can get more fresh air and exercise? What would you think if you were at an event with someone with a bit of a tummy? Would you be criticising them in your head? Or would you not even notice because you've got your own stuff going on and you're not a judgemental cow? Why are you assuming that other people will be so different?

Would you consider an online personal shopping thing like lookeiro? I think you put in your size, style, pick from a load of examples, put what type of clothes you want and they send you stuff and you can keep or return.

Yes I'd return the john lewis stuff.

@Annie2163 since my experience in a stylist appointment, I periodically go into a large M&S and try on lots of things - including some things I wouldn't usually go for and just see whether it's worth steering away from what I know actually works for me. I also find MN a great source of inspiration as people recommend brands I wouldn't otherwise know about. Instagram too, but beware getting suckered in to buy stuff you don't need. Always worth looking on Vinted for more expensive stuff secondhand, but be sure you know the fit will work for you as you can't return things because they don't fit.