To feel upset I’m no better off after personal stylist?

[Annie2163]

I had a personal stylist appointment from a big departmental store thinking they would help me pick out a few outfits to make me feel good about myself as I have a few events coming up I’m nervous for. DH looked after the kids to give me time and space for this appointment (he rarely looks after them so a big surprise for me). I had really high hopes but I’m left really disappointed. I explained my style to her and even the clothes I wouldn’t wear I told her when she showed to me but I still tried on. I ended up buying 3 dresses, 3 tops and 2 trousers. It cost a lot of money as they not cheap and I felt the tailoring and fabric of expensive clothes would suit (as she told be they would). I’ve had them for a few days now and I’m not happy and I want to return. I FaceTimed my sister to show her and she agrees they don’t suit me. She thinks one dress is okay and I should keep (this dress is £190) the other 2 she said are awful as they really show the fat on my tummy whilst the other one kind of hides it with the pleats etc.

I am really upset about wasting my time and money. I kept telling the stylist my areas of concern and she kept brushing me off saying I’m probably brainwashed by social media thinking of the perfect body should look like and my body is great. But surely accentuating my worst feature (my tummy area) is not good? The rest of my body I like such as my arms and legs. I just feel I could have done a better job at picking up some pieces from cheaper brands and look better. I have no family or friends here to look after the kids so this was such a treat for me. I have to return the clothes and just look online. Has anyone actually used a personal stylist and gone away with nice clothes? My first event is next week I’m really dreading it. I’ll probably just won’t go as usual.

edited for all the typos! Sorry!

Probably would've been better off getting your colours done

Oh God, please don't buy dresses from Roman and sosandar unless you're 90

he wishes I was more self assured

Yet another reply with massive sympathy for your self-esteem issues, your depression and your disappointment in your styling session

And another agreeing with the general assessment of the twit you're married to! My XH used to say he just wanted me to be happy. Unfortunately, he didn't see this as any responsibility of his - he wanted me to 'be happy' as part of general wife service, regardless of his crappy behaviour as a husband.

Just as mine couldn't see that I was going to choose happiness by not staying married to a cheating weirdo, so yours doesn't understand a self-assured woman would not stay married to someone who put her down while taking full advantage of her domestic support.

I wish you increasing self-belief. If that starts for you with a dress, I wish you the right dress. Go to the party, ignore the twit, and sparkle. Then find a counsellor to help you fall back in love with yourself!

I'm wearing a Roman dress and have just ordered another one 😂 I am old, though! These are just easy things to throw on, wash well and don't need ironing. Not the proper criteria for a Lovely Dress by any means. They don't even flatter the models, tbh.

Return the clothes AND the husband

There’s something about being there with someone bringing tens of items that makes you buy things you wouldn’t otherwise. I did it once and regretted every single item save a silk scarf. I took them all back and felt a lot of relief. That was many years ago.

Post on style and you will get some great (free and independent) ideas. There is a poster called Eleanor something who has fabulous taste and is very generous with her ideas.

Unfortunately I had a bad experience too. I said I wanted structured clothing to feel more polished. She only showed me baggy garments that made me look fatter. She had no idea how to dress my shape.

Even the other staff at the store were horrified and made private comments to me that it wasn’t a good session & encouraged me to return the items immediately!

It’s very hit and miss and depends on the individual stylist you get.

I mean…what qualifications do they have? How do you qualify as a shop floor stylist?
Surely they are just young fashion students or something? In which case they’ll likely have no idea how to style anyone over the age of 21.

She is probably not on much more than minimum wage. To earn more she needs to hit KPI, conversion rate and ATV. These services rely on upsell and are not really for your benefit.

You know something , I always find clothes that are "me" if I take a GF shopping - I have very few Gf's and I do trust their judgemenet

GF's who live the same sort of life as me , I have friends who are very fashion conscience so Im not shopping with them, rather a friend who knows my lifestyle

Waht does that mean please?

Do you want to lose weight? Body positivity is good, but if weight loss is something you want, it’s OK to want that too. I was at the point where I didn’t want to go out socially because of my size, and that’s when I finally did something about it. It did help my confidence. Needs to be for you though and not for your husband. And by the sounds of it, he’s not being great, and that is probably the more pressing issue?

But back to the clothes, keep looking. Try to get a small selection for your current shape that you’re happy with. You will know you look smart and are looking your best.

KPI = Key performance indicators
Conversion rate = how many of your customers buy stuff
ATV = Average transaction value.

Really good salespeople pay close attention to what you want, assess what you need, which may not be the same thing, and find solutions to meet the need and surpass the want. Young fashion assistants may not be getting very good training, so they'd be likely to try and push you towards whatever they've been told to sell more of.

I'm feeling so sorry for you. What a huge disappointment after making time and spending money like this... And your expectations! You've put me off doing such a thing. Return the clothes and go shopping on your own with the money. If you've got a supportive husband, he'll look after the kids for one day.

Is this another chat gbt post?

I wish people would stop using AI for posts.

ChatGPT doesn't miss out apostrophes or start sentences in lower case.

I wouldn’t be so sure. I’ve seen it misspell “synthesisers” giving it a z. Or the other way round, whichever is correct. I’m not sure myself now.

You've seen an American software using American spelling.

You need to try an independent personal stylist. As many people have said JL stylists will only sell what they have. They also want to push their sales and they have no formal training. They can’t get to know you in 2 hours.
Working with a private stylists, although not free like JL will save you loads in the long run. They’ll get to know your personality, lifestyle, shape, colouring, etc. and they won’t work with any brands so it will be personalised to you. They are such money well spent.
Although the style board here may be helpful you will again find what one person likes another doesn’t so you’ll have the same problem. They won’t know you or your body shape so it may be very generic.
Book a private one if you can, it will boost your confidence which sounds like you desperately need and will be worth the money alone ❤️

From experience… if you tell JL staff that upfront they will put a lot less effort in. Why would they put all that hard work in when they know they’re not going to sell anything? At the end of the day they’re just store staff on minimum wage so they’re not going to pull out loads of stuff for no sales.

Return the dress and write a complaint letter to the department store. State you paid £xxx and you got a very young and inexperienced stylist who pushed you to buy clothes you did not feel comfortable with dismissing your point of view, hence you are returning nearly everything but you have lost time

Return everything - including DH.

Could be worthwhile bringing them to someone to adjust, feeling if they were altered for you the fit would be better and you would like them

Dump the awful husband. That will do wonders for your self esteem!

Thanks. I once bought about 600 quids worth and took them all back!