Partner's ex-wife said I crossed a boundary. AIBU? Please help.

[stclementeee]

Hi,

I've been with my partner for just under 3 years. He has 2 children from his prior marriage. They are 19 and 15. The 19 year old is a boy and the 15 year old is a girl.

The girl was spending the day at her Dad's house and got a splinter under her foot. I'm a surgeon (only saying so because I have a steady hand) and so I offered to remove the splinter from under her foot. I did so - and it was removed without too much hassle. Whole thing took about 90 seconds. She thanked me and was happy.

We carried on with the day.

She went home to her mother's house - and her mother texted my partner saying I had 'crossed a boundary' in removing the splinter from under her daughter's foot. I asked my partner to clarify if the daughter felt I had crossed a boundary - or if the mother did. He clarified that it was only his ex-wife. The daughter was perfectly happy.

I don't have kids of my own - so can please I seek advice/asked if I did indeed cross a boundary...? To be clear, as a Dr, I'm obviously trained in safeguarding etc... I do not touch people without consent!

Totally batshit response. Don't rise to her attempt at making a drama from nothing.

I'd imagine no response will drive her potty.

The ex wife is a nut job you done the right thing

Why did your DP tell you this? He should have told his ex not to be ridiculous and said nothing.

Ex is nuts. You absolutely did the right thing.

For whatever reason, she’s looking for an excuse to have a go at you. Just ignore her.

She’s batshit.

could you imagine if you had sent her home WITH the splinter in her foot.. it would have been “OMG she sent X home with a splinter in her foot, she’s a surgeon she could have helped her!”

you can’t win with some people

The words bat and shit spring to mind.

Just to clarify, I’m not asking because I think OP did anything wrong, just to figure out exactly where on the scale of batshit this stands.

Theres more to this 😄

Unless you did a Kathy Bates from
Misery sledgehammer style hack on DSD’s leg, I can’t imagine anyone who would be upset by this.

Is she jealous you’re a surgeon or something?

Your partner's ex is a nutter. I would file this episode in drawer T for trash.. Good luck with any future interactions.. She's one olive short of a pizza.

We're not allowed to remove splinters at school, we have to just put a plaster over it 🤦🏽

The ex is an absolute loon.

What a very odd reaction from the girl’s mother? Is there more bad blood here than just this story? On the surface she seems unhinged (and whatever the back story unreasonable) but it does seem very peculiar

She's being ridiculous and I hope your partner told her so!

I’d just ignore her. What an obnoxious bitch.

She should be grateful to you for helping her DD.

I agree with @Dozer. Your DP should have told her she was being ridiculous and not even involved you in this

Did she expect the daughter to just leave the splinter in her foot until her mother decided she was able to extract it?!

Surely anyone who happens to be nearby and offers to help would just be doing the decent thing. Even if it was someone they barely knew. Everyone knows how horrid splinters can feel.

Plus she's 15 and consented to you doing it. She's not three?!

This !! I’d offer to deal with it if my DS’s mate got a splinter at ours and I’m not a Dr. She has lost all sense of proportion.

She's bonkers and I hope he told her not to be so stupid!

She's got her own issues. I'd feel extra happy that you were taking care of my kid tbh. It's more about you replacing her than overstepping.

I'd just ignore her. Why has she got your number anyway?

at 15 the daughter is old enough to remove a splinter herself,
requiring tweezers and Dettol, not necessarily a doctor/surgeon

No you did not cross a boundary.

At 15 there aren’t many you can cross of DD says it’s ok.

Is this the first time she’s had an issue with your relationship/ said anything similar?

@TomatoSandwiches why don't you read the OP?
Sorry, you may be the person/straw that broke the camel's back of people asking questions when very specific info was given in the OP. I am hot and grumpy

Ex is batshit, as basically everyone has said. Splinters can be really painful and punctured feet can be dangerous. Far better for it to be removed than left and much easier to do this on somebody else than it is on yourself. Quite frankly if my child was at a friend's house and got a splinter, I'd be disappointed if their parent hadn't at least tried to get consent and get the damn thing out, I'd certainly try it on a friend of my child's in the same situation (depending on body part, I guess, but definitely for a foot!) I'd be ecstatic if the adult involved was not only a doctor but an actual surgeon, FFS! No line crossed, even if the child was younger (IMO) and especially since the child is 15!

Yes, your partner needs to push back calmly and strongy.

Depending on context, is it possible that child is stirring for whatever reason? Or making it seem to Mum as if they agree with Mum?