Dd’s teacher suggesting I sit in on the lesson so Dd remembers what to do

[Stopwiththeicecreamsnow]

Dd recently started a new music lesson. She really enjoyed it at first, but has been struggling recently with understanding/remembering what to do for her homework.
She’s bright and motivated usually, but not keen to do this practice homework each week.
The teacher is very nice. I said to her that Dd had made a great effort but struggled to know what to do. She said they would work on it and maybe I could sit in on the lesson so I can remember what she needs to do too.
I’m ok to do this, but wondering if this is the right approach and think she probably just needs to go more slowly with Dd so she understands? I’m also worried I may not remember myself as I have so much to remember in my life already 😂
During her lesson, I generally use that time to sit in my car and catch up on work emails etc.

I'm in the same position as you in that I have absolutely zero musical aptitude or knowledge so even if I sat in on every one of my daughter's piano lessons it wouldn't help at all.

I'd echo the previous posters comments about asking her teacher to record a quick voice note after each lesson. My daughter's teacher does this and it's very useful in knowing how the lesson has gone and what to practice for next time and far faster than writing out a load of text.

There's lots of different thoughts for music lessons but I personally see great benefit in the parents sitting in early on - and you can definitely just sit with your laptop and you'll naturally pick up on more 'important bits' to pay attention to which will stop it feeling overbearing for your kid too.

It can be really hard to put in adequate notes for kids in the early stages - so much is really practical and impossible to write down in the minute you have for this. You'll remember the rhythm or the tune, or the 'trick' for finding the starting note, or how the hand shape should be, just by being in the room. Music has a funny way of implanting in memory, you don't need to worry about that.

Progress will be much quicker and easier at the start if you can support.

Slowly, slowly, catchy monkey, neither me or my dh have a musical bone in our bodies (seriously! We listen to audio books over music, can't hold a note between us!), we have 2 dds both who have grade 8 in brass, they are amazing! The way forward for us, was asking for translations, 10 to 15 min practise a day, 6 days a week. My eldest dd threw an epic tantrum age 6, she sat under the table and sobbed because she couldn't slur (running notes into each other for the uninitiated!). In January I had the great joy of listening to her band come second in uni brass, the universities brass band competition. Consistent practise and ask questions, take advice.

@Stopwiththeicecreamsnow It would help people narrow down the advice is you could post some examples of the type of notes that the teacher is writing re practice expectations.

Lots of speculation on whether the notes are not clear enough, or only clear to someone musical, or whether the teacher is too inexperienced etc.

But it's hard to tell without the notes information.

Is it something like - practice piece A right hand twice, left hand twice and hands together twice

Or is it - work on timing on piece B?

If it's more like the second one and DD can't remember what the problem was with timing, and you don't know enough about music to advise her then it might be that you just need more comprehensive notes from the teacher.

If you sit in for a couple of lessons then it might all become clearer, and if it's something like the second note, being there the teacher can explain that the issue is an inconsistent beat and you can help by counting as she practices etc.

I should add, the joy and sense of community they both get from the bands they have played in is priceless. The life / soft skills they have developed (resilience, perseverance, listening, reading, taking and acting on feedback, understanding they aren't always the best), their friendships are invaluable. Some of the best money we've invested in our dd have been music lessons (I absolutely understand we've been very privileged to afford them)

I wouldn’t rather, but have a lot of work to do too and it was a way of getting it done so I can fully give myself to her when we’re back at home
Please don’t judge, I have to work around her best I can to pay for these lessons and everything else

It is commonplace and will help initially. Would you be happy to practice the exercise with her and learn with her?

I agree largely with @Malbecfan - piano can be a bit solitary if nobody plays at home. An instrument learned in a group or a choir might work better. However I remember when mine were learning some of their friends really enjoyed learning with a parent or older sibling. This removed the solitary nature of the learning and most children this age enjoy learning with a parent (even better teaching the parent) until they have enough skill of their own.

If you sist in and one of you has the ten-fifteen minutes a day for her practice and for her to teach you it can be more fun.

I think this is a good suggestion if you are willing to support her practice.

I never said that???

I've had four kids do music lessons, I would say at that age it's much better if the parent can sit in on the class.

Is 7 too young??

No, all mine started younger but we had a piano at home and it was just a natural progression.

Sit in with the lessons for a while, let her teach you how to play when she does her practice and see how it goes. Be open to trying an instrument or form in groups if piano doesn’t work at this age. Give her the love of music and it will never go away, it doesn’t really matter which form it takes at this age.

DD is having you on to avoid practicing.

It could be a lot of cognitive overload at that age. Might be worth labelling the keys of her piano (you can find diagrams easily online) and sitting with her as she labels the notes in the music (Every Good Boy Deserves Fruit for the lines from bottom to top and FACE for the gaps) this is also easily googled.

If she can see the notes names in the music and on the keys it might help her feel comfortable. She can internalise it more later.

Please, please, please do NOT put the note names on the piano keys. This will hinder progress as the child will keep looking down at the keys rather than looking at the music.

7 is a really good age to start learning an instrument - definitely not too young.

I agree though that piano wouldn’t be my first pick as a huge amount of the joy of music comes from playing with others, which takes a long time on piano compared to most other instruments. If she ends up swapping to something else though it’s an excellent foundation.

7 is pretty normal age to start musical instruments. However, piano is one of the more complicated ones, so family support plays a bigger role.

Disclaimer, I'm not in the UK, so I don't think about the UK grade options, but in my experience:
I'd say recorder and ukulele are the easiest (and some children start as 4-5 yo here, together with violin, but that one is harder again).
Recorder plays one note at the time and some places offer group lessons. Ukulele is about songs and a few patterns.

Violin is harder because it is easy to make laud unpleasant noises and requires practice to get over that stage.
Piano is harder, because both hands participate in very similar way, playing more notes at the same time.

Any suggestions for group instruments

I think DD is quiet quitting, she doesn’t want to practise so ‘forgets’

maybe ask her if she wants a break/give up the instrument and do another hobby

Almost anything else!

She would probably make fastest progress on woodwind or brass, so unless she is really drawn to strings I’d suggest one of those.

For woodwind she could start on recorder (can play in a recorder group almost immediately) and then move to flute or clarinet later (or oboe or bassoon later still). For brass she could start with trumpet or trombone (horn or tuba later). All of these sound very different from each other and feel very different to play - she will have a preference. Best idea is to listen to them (online fine) and go to a music shop or music school and ask to try out a few.

She will have made a great start on piano and presumably reading both clefs so anything else will likely feel easy for her. Once she’s played for a couple of terms find her a junior ensemble and it will open so many social doors as well as musical ones. Wanting to play well in front of others may also give her the intrinsic motivation to practice that is key.

Lots of schools offer music lessons either for individual or small group tuition. Why not look into that? Also, state schools generally spend time on Whole Class Ensemble Tuition, most often in year 4. Although it’s a long time ago now, my own daughters did flute (disaster), djembe drumming & ukulele, both great. Some schools do brass teaching which leads into bands. Go and ask what they do.

i agree with the recorder & brass suggestions above, but check the situation with adult teeth for brass. Also ukulele is great as apart from learning chords and also chord progressions, they sing.

I’m a music teacher (woodwind not piano) and honestly there’s a huge difference in the progress and engagement between children whose parents are supportive and take an active interest (even if they’re not at all musical themselves) and those whose parents don’t. There are hardly any 7year olds who have the self-discipline needed to practise effectively and independently - they need support and encouragement. I wouldn’t get too hung up on exactly what she should be practising - if she’s playing something, that’s a win at the moment, and you want to keep things as positive as possible. Ask your dd to teach you something (something from earlier in the book that she finds easy, so she gets the confidence boost of being the ‘expert’), give her compliments when she plays, try to find a regular time for her to practise when it won’t feel too energy-sapping (sometimes a bit in the morning works best, rather than in the after-school slump). I think it’s really positive that the teacher’s invited you to sit in - and it probably will be helpful to do it a couple of times so you can see what kind of thing the teacher’s asking her to do at home.

All kids are different. 7 would have been too young for me. How long are the lessons? I did private tuition in a completely different subject. I refused to teach children below secondary level, simply because they lacked the concentration needed for a one hour lesson. Even though I included built in fun activities and down time.

If the lesson is less than an hour it would be no hardship for you to sit in.
I loved the recorder. I drove my family mad, playing it non stop. I can still play the new world symphony from memory.
The fact that your daughter isn't even playing easy stuff non stop indicates to me that she doesn't love the piano. I can still plonk out some finger exercises on the piano, but was never much good.
Primary schools tend to teach glockenspiel and ukulele, recorders seem to have gone out of fashion. All 3 are easy and you could probably learn alongside her. I would consider an easier instrument, she can always return to the piano.

Forgot to say I also endured dragging kids to violin lessons, keyboard lessons, school concerts. I had the costs associated with all these activities: ballet shoes, riding hats, brownie uniforms, kickboxing uniform, camping equipment. The list is endless.
My point is, piano lessons are just a small part of a child's life. There's lots of other activities and interests for them to pursue. I'm sure there's lots of posters who can attest that they spent a fortune on hobbies that kids lost interest in

I am a pro musician. It is really hard at first and there is a lot to process. She’s effectively learning to read a new language of symbols alongside operating a new instrument so it is going to take time.

It’s also really normal for kids to not to want to practice at such a young age. In the beginning the instrument doesn’t give them the instant gratification. Learning an instrument is also a lesson in dedication and perseverance not just the playing of the instrument itself.

This is the teacher's way of getting you to engage in your child's learning. Your child will get so much more out of it if you have some idea of what they are doing, the rhythm of the tune etc. You could even ask to record it so you can help them. Most are too young to self direct a practice at that age- it's better if you're around and half listening in even if doing other jobs.