Dd’s teacher suggesting I sit in on the lesson so Dd remembers what to do

[Stopwiththeicecreamsnow]

Dd recently started a new music lesson. She really enjoyed it at first, but has been struggling recently with understanding/remembering what to do for her homework.
She’s bright and motivated usually, but not keen to do this practice homework each week.
The teacher is very nice. I said to her that Dd had made a great effort but struggled to know what to do. She said they would work on it and maybe I could sit in on the lesson so I can remember what she needs to do too.
I’m ok to do this, but wondering if this is the right approach and think she probably just needs to go more slowly with Dd so she understands? I’m also worried I may not remember myself as I have so much to remember in my life already 😂
During her lesson, I generally use that time to sit in my car and catch up on work emails etc.

Both my sons do piano, one started at 4 (he’s 8 now) the other at 10 (he had other hobbies but realised he was quite good at doing his brother’s piano work so he started it too).

Our piano teacher would have them practice the sheet music from that week. My rule was 10 mins practice a day. They could either sit at piano and just play around or practice their song. The point was to actually be at the piano.

I would sit in on their weekly lessons because I enjoyed listening to them. I’d have my phone out and be catching up on things but I had an ear on what was going on.

As other posters have said, kids do not want to practice at home, they see it as a chore but I’m firm with my 10 mins and it’s now part of the day.

I don’t get the comment on piano teachers being a weird breed, our teacher is SO lovely, she’s brilliant with kids, so patient and sweet, I really like her.

I do find that when piano starts getting a little hard, kids will want to quit. It won’t be as fun anymore and they will want to give it up but the hard work is worth it. My younger DS struggled last year as the piano exam was a lot harder than year before but he got there and did well on his exam. We took a break the next term from exam work and just did ‘cool’ songs that he liked, like Imagine Dragons, Beatles etc.

I would recommend getting a beginner piano book for children so you can sit down with your child and both learn about music. It will help if you know little things like the location of middle C, hand position, note lengths…
I play music so I can help the boys but if I didn’t it would be hard to keep them on track if they are playing something incorrectly and I didn’t know how it was to go.

I don't see the point in your daughter doing this unless she wants to, but if you want to keep her going with it for a while then why not suggest the teacher sends voice notes detailing exactly what she wants your daughter to do? I wouldn't pay for a lesson and then sit in on it myself!

It seems a bit strange. Normally in a music lesson you'd just have practice piece X or practice bars 5-10 written in the book.

This is where parental support can help. She's 7. She won't remember. You need to step up or, if you can't do that, get her to give up. Not sure what you think you're modelling to your DD here.

You have a great music teacher - is she East European, btw? Grab this opportunity - it means the teacher has proper methodology, is not scared of adults seeing her teach, and as you know your child better than anyone else, you will see if your child is struggling with understanding her method or not. Basically, you will see exactly where it is going wrong - sometimes children are too scared to say 'I don't understand, show me again'. It is very important for you to be present there, not all the time, but just a few lessons, to let the fluidity of interaction establish, then it won't be necessary.

My DD records the teacher playing the piece on her phone so she can remember what it's like when she gets home. That is something you could do (& still have time to send a few emails).

I wouldn't give up too soon. Music is hard and if she isn't practising and doesn't understand how to practise, then no she won't be enjoying it because she won't get the satisfaction of seeing progress and it will always feel frustrating. Learning an instrument is a really good lesson in how you need to work at something to get the reward from it (one of the reasons I wanted my kids to do it.)

I've always said to my kids that while learning an instrument is optional, practising is not, and if they aren't willing to practise most days than the lessons and instrument hire will stop. Find a regular time to integrate practice into your day, so it becomes a habit and part of her routine. But at this age practice doesn't have to take more than 10 minutes and you can try to find games (e.g. how many times can you play bar 6 in a minute).

Can you give some examples of what is written in her notebook which she doesn't understand?
I'm a piano teacher and I've never had anyone say they didn't understand what they had to practise. They know what to practise but usually the issues around practising at home are that the child can't remember which note they have to start on for a particular piece. This can be solved by drawing a diagram of the keyboard with the position marked or sending a video or photo to the parent or writing the name of the note on the music if the child can identify the notes on the keyboard but still struggles with note reading. Another issue is if the child does not practise on the day after the lesson and has a couple of days off before starting to practise. Most of them can't remember anything if they do that. I tell the parents if they can't manage to practise every day they really do need to make sure that the days off are not immediately after the lesson.

I think you should go and observe the lesson and make notes and then help with the practising, at least for the rest of this term. You seem reluctant to do this. Why? Don't use the excuse that you can't play piano and can't read music. If you are expecting a 7-year old to do it then you can at least learn enough alongside your child for the beginning stages.
It's half an hour a week. If you can't spare that time to help your child get started then you might as well save yourself the money and hassle and give notice to end the lessons.
I no longer take on any children under the age of 9 if the parents aren't prepared to sit in the lessons and help with practice because most of them (there are occasional exceptions) are just not mature enough to take in the information and remember what to do and manage their practice time.

I think you should sit in on the lessons until the end of term. If that does not help then you should stop the lessons because it is a waste of time and money.
If your child is still saying they don't understand what to do it might be that what they actually mean is that they don't want to learn the instrument or it's much harder than they expected.

You may as well learn how to play aswell then?

Sorry? I need to step up how? I sit with her for all school work and activities and am very invested in out work at home and always have been.
She or I did not understand what the homework was asking of her

As I posted above, can you tell us what was written in her notebook which you didn't understand? One of us might be able to help.

I am sure you are invested in her so why not sit with her for this piano lesson as well. If it's too much for you, maybe it's too much for her too? I'm not getting at you - I teach piano and I sometimes get children (and parents) coming along who are just doing far too much already and the piano is the last straw as it were. Piano is hard and needs a lot of work to really get going.

Yes I will sit in, I was checking here if that was standard practice!

We had a similar problem with dc. What worked for us was short instructional videos made and sent via a mobile phone.

It helps to sit in lessons. However, it helps even further to listen to practices, especially with a young child and a non orchestral instrument.

I have a 7 year old learning an instrument. I go in on his lessons so I understand what's happening and to support him practicing at home. I had zero musical knowledge prior to this. I feel like im having lessons too 😆

Re-read your comment.

If YOU cannot remember what to do, and your DD cannot remember what to do, then perhaps this isn't the right teacher for your daughter?

Piano lessons at this age need to be super fun and shouldn't leave a child not wanting to practice.

Can you read music yourself op?

It would be usual at age 7 to expect about 10 minutes a day of practise. Usually there would be a piece or two they are practising, in addition to a couple of scales, and there might be finger exercises like dozen a day or Hanoi.

If you can even just get the teacher to write the name of the piece, then get dd to

• start playing it separate hands if its new, then try to bring the hands together slowly
• if shes already learned the notes, get her to play it through and listen for note mistakes or sections where she falters/slows down. Get her to do those little bits on their own slowly 3 or 4 times, then play the whole piece through again.

I cannot, sadly.

It’s the first time Dd has struggled with something and I can’t easily help at present, so I will sit in. I just assumed if she wasn’t understanding as much, the way forward would be to slow it down

Ask the teacher to switch her WhatsApp to recording a voice note to send to you each time she gives your DD a bit of important advice or instructions during the lesson. Then she's not having to write out each thing separately as well as saying it - she's soeak8ng to your DD but the phone us recording it at the same time, but you can remind DD of what was said in the lesson when she comes to practicing.

My DD is a bit older now but been in drums since the same age. We get videos from the teacher by WhatsApp and she uses them to remember what she’s been working on for practice and before a lesson.

I can understand what she’s supposed to do, I recognise the order of things but I can’t replicate it. The videos are helpful for breaking things down for me and DD.

ETA, I think (know) my DD would clam up if I sat in she would hate it.

It sounds to me that sitting in the lesson would be a good way to start. Then the teacher can explain to you both and you are more likely to understand the written reminder in the notebook than your daughter.

Perhaps you can learn to read music at the same time, so that you are better able to support her?

"Worth continuing".

It is not worth continuing if they are not going to be a concert pianist? What if they just enjoy it or it's improving?

I would probably sit in to a couple of lessons to be agreeable about it, and see if it makes any difference. I feel like having a parent there might distract them a bit though.

When DDs learned piano we had to buy certain books for them, and the instructions were very clear to all, to practice certain pages. Why can't the teacher give something like that which is clear to all?

I'd see how she organises the homework during the lesson then suggest making mutually agreeable adjustments so that it works for you all. And if h/she is inflexible it might be time for a change to a different teacher. Some are much better than others.

Apologies, I was responding to you previous point about how you'd rather sit in your car on your devices.

Oh and my DD sometimes says she doesn't know what to do. Its usually means she can't be bothered practising.

Most children don't actually enjoy practising at this age. Effective practise can be quite boring, its taking the bit of the piece you find hardest and doing it repetitively. Or it can be things like scales which are crucial foundations but plenty of children dislike. Learning an instrument requires discipline.

Do you have a child?

For most of their activities you drop them off and pick them up, and are even expressly forbidden from being in the class! There's absolutely nothing wrong with waiting in the car and going on her phone even if she is playing Tetris for half an hour, never mind doing life admin. What would you rather her do?