Dd’s teacher suggesting I sit in on the lesson so Dd remembers what to do

[Stopwiththeicecreamsnow]

Dd recently started a new music lesson. She really enjoyed it at first, but has been struggling recently with understanding/remembering what to do for her homework.
She’s bright and motivated usually, but not keen to do this practice homework each week.
The teacher is very nice. I said to her that Dd had made a great effort but struggled to know what to do. She said they would work on it and maybe I could sit in on the lesson so I can remember what she needs to do too.
I’m ok to do this, but wondering if this is the right approach and think she probably just needs to go more slowly with Dd so she understands? I’m also worried I may not remember myself as I have so much to remember in my life already 😂
During her lesson, I generally use that time to sit in my car and catch up on work emails etc.

I’m confused, how old is DD? And why can’t she or can’t the tutor write it down?

How old is dd ?

does she really really want to learn this instrument

are you supposed to be ' at ' work whilst you are sat in the car catching up on work emails

Can the teacher not write down what she wants her to do? Or either you or the teacher could video what she needs to practice? You’d only have to come in for a couple of minutes at the end to do that

Generally there is a note book that goes to lessons and the teacher writes pointers in that

My DC used to have little log books to take to their music lessons and the teacher would write comments / next steps in those.

When I used to do piano lessons I had a wee notepad and the teacher wrote a list of what I had to do at home each week. Should work.

She’s 7. The teacher did write the work to practise in her book, but Dd didn’t know or remember how to do it. I don’t read music sadly, so I haven’t a clue how to help her like I can with school work

My kids do Suzuki music and the expectation is that parents sit in on every lesson so they can support and guide practice at home.

Dd1 also does conventional method piano and the teacher writes notes in a notebook but DD
still needs help applying this effectively in practice.

My experience is that it takes years to learn how to practise an instrument effectively and children don’t have that maturity until about 11 or 12 at the earliest. If they don’t practise effectively then it is a waste of time and money paying for lessons as their natural inclination is just to play everything through rather than break down and work at the hard bits.

Obviously it is up to you, but if you can sit in at least a couple of times and then support your dd then you will likely see big improvements.

She’s 7, she enjoyed it at first, now too sure now. I don’t want to leave the teacher in the lurch so we will continue until the end of term and then decide.
I’m not meant to be in/at work no, but it’s a good opportunity for me to catch up on tasks so there is less to do in the evening when Dd is in bed

Yes it’s written down in the book but dd doesn’t understand it

Yes it’s in there but she doesn’t understand what she needs to do

My children both learn instruments as their primary strongly encourages that. Neither DH nor I ever learnt an instrument and we can’t read music. We did/do make our DC practice and we’ll listen in from time to time, and we read what the teacher sends home in a notebook that says “practice these scales and this piece”, but we are unable to help in any meaningful way because we don’t know what notes they are meant to play or how to get them out of the instrument. After a year or two of primary you could really see how far ahead the children whose parents did know how to help (because they had learnt an instrument themselves) pulled ahead of those like our DC.

So my view would be if you do have the time to attend the occasional lesson and learn what your DC should be doing, and are able to then help supervise practice meaningfully, your DC will probably progress much faster and set up a virtuous loop with learning. But if you can’t, eg because you are at work when DC has lessons, then so be it. (As I understand it, the Suzuki method of teaching musical requires parents sit in, but it doesn’t sound like you’ve signed up to that sort of teaching).

And BTW almost all kids - even very musical ones - will be resistant to practicing. It’s like homework or whatever chores they have - you need to set and enforce the expectation they do it until they mature enough to be self-motivated.

I can definitely sit in if it will help her, it feels a bit of pressure for me to adequately remember and understand though

I'd sit in. You can just tell the teacher (at the lesson not before) that you will be checking work emails and listening to help DD if needed.
If this is piano lessons - I have found piano teachers to be a curious breed and they need close supervision.

Apologies to any piano teachers out there. You are all lovely, I am just not capable of working on your level!

She is young so I can see having guidance on practice is helpful and I do know music teachers who ask the same for young children

could you suggest she sends a video of the practice? So dd can watch herself back and remember? I’ve had a teacher do that for piano

Would you make her persevere if she becomes not that keen though ?

Sit in for a couple of lessons. It'll give you usn insight into whether it's working for DD or not. If it's not, maybe this is not the right teacher for her.

What do you mean by being a curious breed and needing supervision?

My dd played 2 instruments at primary and dropped one in year 7. Practice was patchy over the years and there were a couple of years where she didn’t play much outside lessons so if you are happy for your dd to take it at her own pace and just enjoy it then you can keep going with lessons. DD now practices hours a day and is at a high level. She really enjoys it.

Yes i’d really like her to enjoy it, she seemed really reluctant to practise and I can see her enthusiasm slipping a bit. She’s very enthusiastic and motivated with the majority of things from
school.

Also I wouldn't take it too much at face value. If it were just DD forgetting that could be handled with notes so maybe there is something else the teacher wants to uto sem

I think it's a good sign that she has invited you in. She's got nothing to hide.

Is it piano?

Yes

If she's not that keen to do the homework then maybe she's actually not enjoying the lesson either? Maybe she does understand what to do but is using it as an excuse.

I grew up in an environment where no-one i knew had music lessons - it was seen as a middle class/posh thing to do. This was the 70s/80s.

With my DS when he was young I enrolled him in Beavers as I thought he would enjoy it but otherwise left it to him to say what he would like to do. He did football for a few years but stopped before teenage years. Scouts he stayed with from 6-16.

He never asked to learn an instrument and I would never have started lessons just because it is considered a good thing to do.

Maybe your daughter would prefer to do something else? She is still very young.

Dd started to enjoy it more when she moved off grades and onto playing more around her choice. She started at 4 and it was a very gentle introduction. but one of the advantages of her teacher at the time was that he was brutally honest about whether he thought it was worth continuing or not.