Dd’s teacher suggesting I sit in on the lesson so Dd remembers what to do

[Stopwiththeicecreamsnow]

Dd recently started a new music lesson. She really enjoyed it at first, but has been struggling recently with understanding/remembering what to do for her homework.
She’s bright and motivated usually, but not keen to do this practice homework each week.
The teacher is very nice. I said to her that Dd had made a great effort but struggled to know what to do. She said they would work on it and maybe I could sit in on the lesson so I can remember what she needs to do too.
I’m ok to do this, but wondering if this is the right approach and think she probably just needs to go more slowly with Dd so she understands? I’m also worried I may not remember myself as I have so much to remember in my life already 😂
During her lesson, I generally use that time to sit in my car and catch up on work emails etc.

If she isn't that enthusiastic then I'd stop the lessons. I wonder if she's saying she doesn't understand the homework when really she doesn't want to do it.

Learn to read music?? Like that is so easy. I mean, I know what the basic notes are and technically how they appear on the page but I couldn't sight read to save my life.

If she is really struggling, is it possible that the teacher is trying to push her to learn music that is too difficult for her. If she has not been playing long it may be she needs to work on recognising notes. There are apps to practise this.

It’s not worth continuing if they are not practising and are not showing any enthusiasm in lessons

when dd stopped practicing he said it was fine because she was engaged during the lessons and making progress.

Have you read the thread?

Yes, grown up children.

Teacher said it would be supportive for child, parent complained that it would interrupt them sitting in their car on their devices. Parent then swiftly moved along to maybe it would be better, rather than them accompanying and helping, if the child gave up all together.

Or she has poor working memory like my youngest, as many children and adults do. My older daughter would remember her homework and probably everyone else's individually if she were in a group situation, my youngest would have certainly forgotten what to do by the time she gets home.

Then you must have forgotten how exhausting it is to have younger children and how important a half hour break in your car might be for your sanity.

I completely agree with you, but it definitely isn’t a popular view on here!

OP, if your daughter is becoming less enthusiastic about piano but she’s still interested in music, it might be worth exploring if there’s a different instrument she’d be interested in learning.

Ok, fair enough if they are not enjoying it. I'd just hate to think of someone stopping what they enjoy because of an adult making a judgement about them at a young age that they were never going to be any good at it so it wasn't worth bothering to do it at all.

Yes, parent sitting in lessons to be able to help at home is a normal thing.

The teacher will explain it to both of you and write a note, so you should be able to put it together.

If the child is less enthusiastic now, it can be that they got to a bit more advanced stuff which needs a bit of practice to get used to. Going slower won't necessarily help, because once a week isn't enough to build the connections in brain.

Try the sitting in, see if it helps and decide for the next year.

I’m not sure he’d make a living if he operated on that basis!

What is it exactly that you and DD don’t understand ? Has the teacher used language that isn’t clear or is it something technical you’ve never heard of? There’s quite a few musicians and music teachers on Mumsnet who will be willing to explain!

Generally, I do think it’s a good idea for you to sit in for at least part of the music lesson. You won’t need to be there for every lesson, but if DD is struggling you need to see and hear what is going on.

I’m also going to suggest that sometimes at 7 years old children are simply too young to have the mental capacity needed for the piano. It requires learning two different clefs (treble and bass) for each hand, as well as being able to coordinate and control both hands together at the keyboard.

Maybe she's not enthusiastic about the lessons and would rather stop - are you sure she still enjoys them? My children lost interest quite quickly when they realised they weren't going to be playing the way they thought straight away, and they really didn't like practising at home.
Or maybe she doesn't have the right teacher - they all have their different ways of teaching.
I would sit in on a lesson so you can get a better feel for how it's going at least - you could still do your work in there perhaps?

I have taught piano, violin and viola as well as accompanied for over forty years. I have not used a notebook for years as many children never look at them. I write important aide memoirs in pencil on the music as I have found this more helpful. I welcome parents sitting in on lessons with young beginners and it is especially beneficial if the parents are not musical as it means that the parent is learning alongside the child, making them more able to help their child at home.

I think if the teacher suggests you sit in and it will help your daughter then that is what you should do. If you are worrying you won't be able to remember what she needs to do then how do you expect her to remember? She is 7! You won't need to do it forever. If you daughter isn't enjoying practicing then maybe it isn't for her. Everyone likes the idea of being able to play an instrument but many people don't like the process of actually learning to play an instrument. I include myself in this and my son was the same. I never pushed him with extra curriculars. We dabbled and had periods where he enjoyed gymnastics, drama and beavers/cubs. Music wasn't really his thing or any other sports and he wasn't keen on scouts, no interest in cadets etc. You can only offer them opportunities and see what strikes them. I don't believe in pushing. I have a relative who was pushed to learn piano and went on to do music at Uni but by the end they were not keen and didn't do anything music related for several years.

I have an 8yo DS who started violin 2 years ago, at 6. DH and I are musical (DH is professional) but play other instruments, not strings, so one of us (usually me) sits in on all of DS’s lessons. Yes the teacher could write notes but when he’s doing things like correcting posture, bow hold etc it really helps to actually see it.

Like others I think it is really important at this age, and supervising practice is absolutely essential. DS is very naturally musical but if left to his own devices he probably wouldn’t practice every day, and when he did practice, he would choose to
play the things he found easy or would just play things all the way through. He might not realise if his rhythm was a little off etc etc.

Learning to practice - spotting where things are hard or going wrong and then working to fix those bits - is really difficult, and not intuitive or attractive for little kids, so they do need lots of support with it. It’s also totally normal for them not to want to practice, especially when things become more difficult - it’s not a sign that they should give up (necessarily). It’s a great life lesson that hard work pays off, and will be incredibly rewarding but they need to work a bit to see the rewards, and they will need encouragement to do that.

Fwiw we have made practice non-negotiable from the beginning - initially (at 6yo) we did 2 x 15 mins per day, because his attention span was limited. Now at 8yo we do 30 mins per day. He does often complain before starting it but will always do it, and he loves being able to play the pieces he is working on now. I anticipate needing to supervise practice for another few years at least.

I do sit in on music lessons, and often take a video of the piece when taught by the teacher. Helps my DC remember later during practice. I think this is quite common for younger children (atleast in my experience).

Being able to read music and being able to sight-read well are two completely different things, though obviously you can’t do the latter without being able to do the former.

I took the OP to be saying that she could not read music at all. It really should not be difficult for her to learn the basics, so that she can support her daughter’s practice.

Being able to sight-read well needs a lot of practice and I am certainly not suggesting that the OP does that.

OP, what is the goal of these music lessons? You being asked to sit in every week is giving me Tiger Mum vibes and wouldn't suit me or my DD. I do remember being sent a video of a girl playing the piece beautifully as though by seeing it done properly I could somehow make my DD do that ready for the next lesson.

She gave up that instrument and moved to a different one with a new music provider and we all agreed that she would enjoy it rather than focus on being brilliant at it. DD and I had this expectation for the first instrument, I suspect the teacher had other aspirations.

She still has weekly lessons now and plays in two orchestras, and it is a source of joy in her life plus has added to her social network. We're both happy with that level of commitment. Practicing instrument number 1 was a source of huge misery for all concerned, practicing her current one is something she does most days and will turn to if she's cross/stressed as it improves her mood.

Lots of families see music lessons as a race to mastery where practice is vital and I'm sure it is if you are planning for your DC to put their grade 8 on a future UCAS form but there is another way which doesn't involve parental micromanaging or complex homework. 'Show Dad and I what you did at music today' is probably sufficient 'homework' at age seven unless you are desperate for her to be good at it. You may find a different teacher a much altered experience and she might want to practice because it is fun not because all will be lost if she hasn't mastered something by next week.

It sounds like it would not inconvenience you
And surely that means it's worth a try?

Take your phone with you. Or an old fashioned dictaphone and have the teacher explain to you and you DD what you do and record it.

That with notes should help.

Does DD understand that practice is part of learning, and that applies to everything?

Olympic athletes don't just do their sport, they all spend time in the gym, practicing things that don't at first glance look like they are anything to do with their sport.

Hi,
TL/DR: find a better teacher!

I'm a piano teacher and teach all ages.
It sounds to me like the teacher isn't very experienced.

Is it their full time job, or a cash in hand bit of extra money after work job? Do they have any teaching qualifications? Do they have a teaching philosophy? are they are a member of a professional organisation eg MU or ISM? Do they have an enhanced DBS check and are they registered with the ICO for GDPR?

The answer to these questions will indicate whether the teacher is a professional who is likely do a good job, or an amateur who thinks playing an instrument is the qualifies them to teach an instrument.

I teach students from age 4 to 84, and a 7 year old can be taught in such a way that they can follow the practice instructions at home without help from parents (parents must be time managers and tell them when to practise, and if musical can assist, but most aren't).

If your daughter, who clearly is perfectly normal, can't understand what to do then the teacher needs to change what they are going. They need to check the piece or skill is thoroughly learnt and understood in lesson and set THE SAME ACTIVITIES to do at home. At your daughter's stage of learning, a teacher shouldn't expect anything new to be learnt at home, just more of the same. Practice should be along the lines of:

Piece 1: repeat 3 times
Piece 2: repeat 3 times
Exercise 1: repeat 3 times
Play through your favourite piece for fun

It should take 5-10 minutes.

I use 2 different coloured marker tabs for kids who don't read instructions. If a page is marked in pink, repeat the piece on that page 3 times. If a page is marked in yellow, play for fun. There should be 3-4 pieces he student can play and enjoys playing that they should carry on playing for as long as enjoyable, then take off the old ones and add new ones.

Your daughter isn't enjoying her instrument because she's not being given the opportunity to feel successful. If you can find a teacher who gives her that feeling I'm sure she will find her love of music.

Good luck!

Why is a 7 year old learning to play the piano? Whose idea was this?
I think I was older than the child when I learned to play the recorder. And read music, it was easy. I dabbled with the piano for a while. I lacked the interest to persevere. I later played guitar and another instrument. But I lost interest, couldn't be bothered to practice. Gave it up. Kids do that.
Since then, I have hauled kids round ballet, horse riding, brownies, guides, drama, kick boxing, martial arts, cubs, scouts, music lessons, gardening club. Concerts, camps.
Guess what? Sooner or later, they get fed up of these activities and drop out.
Except, those odd ladies who are still in the guides aged 70, trefoil.
Apologies to all trefoil members. I know you're good hearted really.

No need to sit in imo
(mine started age 6)
My children’s music teacher writes it down for them in a notebook. Or tells me on collection of children.
or makes a video clip of what needs to be practiced and sends it to me on WhatsApp.
all very relaxed and fun orientated as it should be

Not read the whole thread but I wondered if the teacher could video the section to practice?

ive never learnt piano and my kids are interested in instruments but if they were I’d also struggle to support. If the teacher can video then your fighter can watch back and practice along?

not sure if that will help but takes the pressure off you. People saying step up are ridiculous. You’re no doubt paying a lot for the lesson and it’s the teachers job to teach and make sure she understands.

but if she doesn’t enjoy it then stop and save your time and money. Piano isn’t a life skill.