Dd’s teacher suggesting I sit in on the lesson so Dd remembers what to do

[Stopwiththeicecreamsnow]

Dd recently started a new music lesson. She really enjoyed it at first, but has been struggling recently with understanding/remembering what to do for her homework.
She’s bright and motivated usually, but not keen to do this practice homework each week.
The teacher is very nice. I said to her that Dd had made a great effort but struggled to know what to do. She said they would work on it and maybe I could sit in on the lesson so I can remember what she needs to do too.
I’m ok to do this, but wondering if this is the right approach and think she probably just needs to go more slowly with Dd so she understands? I’m also worried I may not remember myself as I have so much to remember in my life already 😂
During her lesson, I generally use that time to sit in my car and catch up on work emails etc.

Yes I’m in the same mindset, we’ve only really started extra curriculars recently and are trying a few and then deciding which to stick with, I just don’t want to give up too soon

I think you need to give it more time but maybe speak to the teacher about the homework and say it’s putting your dd off and could she give something lighter to do. Then maybe just sit with her a few minutes and ask her to play you something she’s learnt - however basic.

I'm not musical at all and don’t play an instrument but seeing the pleasure my dd gets from it now makes me glad we persevered.

Until you get the urge on your own to improve music practice feels like a chore. Even if you generally like the instrument.

But it’s one of the easier instruments for you to help supervise as a parent with no musical knowledge - unlike strings or wind.

What is an example of the notes written by the teacher for practice that DD is unable to explain.

Like a PP my DD9 learns through the Suzuki method and parents are required to sit in. I read music at a very basic level but can’t play any instruments really except school recorder.

I think it’s hugely valuable being an active participant in the lessons, I have learned so much about her instrument and music and I can help her and share the experience with her. When they are older our teacher allows parents to dip out, but at this age I think she gets so much more out of it because I am there.

I take a notebook or mark up the book with what we need to concentrate on in practice. More dedicated Suzuki parents would do practice everyday, but we have a scheduled 90 min slot every week and we work together on her practice. At that age kids need encouragement and feedback. I sometimes turn our practice aims into a little chart for her to tick off eg. Play x number of twinkles, play x arpeggio, practice bar 6 of that minuet slowly.

i don’t think you should attend and do emails etc though, no point. Either attend and learn yourself, or just ask the teacher for a written practice plan.

Where I live, teachers like it..

Personally I didn't want to. I think that the teacher is capable and my son in combination should be able to work with her alone.

She notes the pieces to practice each week and we do it at home. I can play piano to a basic level so at the moment I can help him, but I that won't last too long.

As for enjoyment and desire, music is hard because the initial learning curve for most instruments is really tough. It isn't like art classes where it takes a while to be "good" but even when you are just starting it is fun. For a lot of instruments it simply won't be that "fun" for quite a while. So it really does need parental involvement for most children at a young age, even if that isn't in the class itself. Sure a great teacher can try and make it fun, but with some more technical instruments that is really hard to do at first. Plenty of praise and clapping goes someway.

Because I some I have met are either eccentric to the point of confusion, they go too fast or in the case of one - had DD watch her play the piano for more than half the lesson.

This.
Surely, making notes is the way forward??

I’m guessing it’s only small things she needs to remember.

So could you say that you really want DD to be a bit more independent and so don’t want to sit in the whole lesson but you can come in 10mins before the end and then see what she needs to remember.

I would ask if it’s ok for you to record what she needs to remember on your phone and then DD can rewatch it at home.

We have sat through all 3 childrens music extra curriculum classes untill around 14 yo to support them. Luckily number two child did most music classes at school as a choirister.
The teachers expected this.

This is not the “accepted” MN view but in my opinion, piano is not the best instrument to start or introduce music with. It’s too solitary.

Both my now adult DDs learned bowed stringed instruments from 4, just before they started primary school. Apart from their weekly individual lessons, they also did group lessons, including Dalcroze, Kodály and ensembles alongside, most of the way through. They loved the social element as much as the music.

When they were young, I did supervise practice with them but we also prioritised making fun music together in addition to whatever their instrumental teachers set them to work on.

I need to add that I’m a secondary school music teacher with 30+ years’ experience in both classroom and individual instrumental teaching (string instrument). DH & I met at an amateur orchestra so it has always been important to us. The DDs both attained grade 8 on 2 instruments and carried on with their music despite studying STEM degrees. One got to grade 2 piano, the other has rudimentary keyboard skills. However, both are phenomenal sight-readers and singers - maybe the OP should try something where her DD can play or sing in a group.

I dont know if it helps but DS (8) is learning piano and to be honest he seems to learn a lot more from YouTube videos than he does from his actual teacher. If you can find a relevant video tutorial it might jog her memory. I'm not musical at all but he is very keen on it so I just let him crack on.

My DC had this trouble too. Turns out they both have ADHD, and looking at DP it's clearly genetic!

What is it that your DD isn't understanding? ie if the teacher writes 'practice the scale of C major', or 'practice the first four bars of music' is it that she doesn't remember how to do that, or know what a scale or bar is? Could you help her to look up the definition of a bar/scale? Could watching a you tube video help? Especially with scales.

If none of this is possible, then sit in for a week or two so you can identify what the problem is and perhaps it will help you to understand how to help your DD

If she doesn't understand what to do then she needs to ask the teacher. The teacher needs to go over it until DD does understand.

If DD isn't practising though, I would give notice to end the lessons. I told DD that I wasn't paying for violin lessons if she never practiced as there was absolutely no point.

If I were you I’d be thinking about if she genuinely doesn’t understand or if she just doesn’t want to do it, and saying she doesn’t understand is the excuse.

Hey piano teacher here.
Personally I prefer when parents don't stay as kids respond better.
I keep a notepad and clear notes. However for kids who struggle, I send WhatsApp videos to parents, particularly if they don't play.
At the moment she should be doing 5-10mins X3 times a week practice supervised by you. You don't need to play just sit and support.
The first year is the hardest. You won't necessarily know if it's her thing for at least a year.

It’s pretty standard to have a parent in the lesson in order to guide the practicing. You don’t need to be able to read music to do that. I remember my dad in my lessons growing up and he was an East End delivery driver with no formal music knowledge-he tried his best! I’ve had to sit in on my dds lessons over the years.

I think it is a stretch to expect a 7 year old to independently remember what they need to do and practise properly. Learning an instrument requires a lot of parental attention at that age especially pre grade 1 when they’re ability to sight read isn’t that secure. My own 7 year old is progressing well but she wouldn’t have at all if left to her own devices. Her teacher writes notes for me in her book rather than notes for my daughter. My older one is much more independent once she gets going but still needs a nag to actually practise and to actually look at her notes from her teacher.

@Stopwiththeicecreamsnow If you know what she needs to do because you have observed it, that’s a good thing surely? Is your dd musical?

Surely the instructions cant be that complicated.

I have no experience. I labelled up the keys on dc paino, printed off a sheet to show which finger goes where.

Teacher gave sheet music woth the letter above each note so easy enough to guide practise even though I knew absolutely zero

There is no point - if she's not keen, she won't practice or if she does so under duress, she won't really progress. But if you are carrying on to the end of term, sitting in the lessons will help a bit - even if you don't play, the scales and songs she is playing at that age will be incredibly simple and you can help to remind her what the teacher has said

My DD had piano lessons for about 18 months from ages 10 - 12 - she loved playing but we really struggled to get her to practice. She said she didn't want to continue but was close to doing her grade 1, so we agreed that she could stop after the exam.

I could already read music as I played from the ages of 7 - 14, so I could help her with the basics. I wish I'd carried on now, but I had no real natural talent for it.

My DD still plays uses apps to learn modern pop and rock songs she likes, but will do it on her terms and having the basics of that 18 months of lessons helps. Sometimes she practices for hours, sometimes she doesn't touch the piano for weeks.

If she is reluctant, it may be worth stopping for now - if you have the instrument she can always start lessons up again later, or just use the online apps to learn.

You could try using the online courses to learn together to learn the basics too - that way, if she does want to pick it up again later you could help her out.

I've been in violin lessons (can't play) and ballet lessons with my DD where the teachers have explained some things to me as well as DD

The only way I think you will understand is to be in the lesson. Make sure the teacher explains so you both understand. Maybe this is not the piano teacher for your DD and you may find another who connects better with your DD

At 7 it will beed to be a partnership between the teacher and parent and student. My brother is a musician and my mother went to all his lessons with him for years. You can invest the time and effort if you think you or your daughter would enjoy it, or just stop as it’s not really proving to be something that works for both of you. Neither is wrong really, but yes , it needs to include your support at this age.

You obviously know your DD best and I think at that age it is hard for them to necessarily make an independent decision about taking up any kind of hobby or joining a club.

I was definitely more of a hands off parent in this regard so my advice is probably of more limited value. I see there are lots of people with experience of their children taking lessons or actual teachers posting so their advice will be more useful!

Can you ask teacher if you/she can film the end of the lesson. Just the keys/fingers and the verbal instructions of what the homework is? Not the teacher's face or anything.

I think it would be good for you to do it just the once to see what happens. But it's understandable to think it shouldn't be necessary as presumably you have other things to do and don't especially want to learn beginners' piano?