AIBU to confront workmen about stealing my engagement ring?

[Marooney]

TLDR- workmen are only people who could have taken my engagement ring, do I confront them?

Need some urgent advice please-

We’ve had 2 workmen here for several days repairing the patio. They don’t need access to the house and come in and out the side passage which leads directly to the garden from outside. One of the men has done several jobs with/for DP over the years, let’s call him Bob, the other guy is an assistant DP doesn’t know.

On Monday night DP left my new engagement ring in its box on a table near the front door as he was going to take it to have a small adjustment done, however on Tuesday morning he forgot and on Wednesday noticed it wasn’t there. He assumed I’d taken it but I hadn’t and there’s no one else in the house, no cleaner or visitors, no one. We live in a rural area and I haven’t always been locking the front door when I pop out on errands as the builders are around - I never thought they themselves might be a risk- and it’s a cul-de-sac so no one passes by except one middle aged neighbour who we’re friendly with, walking her dog. Our Ring doorbell has not recorded any stranger entering our front gate.

We don’t know what to do. Obviously we can’t accuse with no proof, but it seems clear that one of them has taken it. My only idea so far is to have a word with Bob, ask him a bit about the other guy and how long he’s known him etc then say a ring has gone missing and we’d rather sort it out now than look through days of Ring camera footage (we have cameras but unfortunately not in that area, but he doesn’t need to know that). That way at least we’d be implying to Bob that we don’t think it’s him. Incidentally, DP hasn’t categorically said that it couldn’t be Bob.

Any suggestions gratefully received!

It could be either of them neither f them will admit so there’s no point in saying anything

I wouldn’t bother, you don’t know its theme DP could have taken it with him and forgotten and lost it, and even if it’s them they’d never admit it.

Be very sure before accusing.

I've lost countless items that I could have sworn I'd put in X place, only to find them somewhere completely different. A couple of weeks ago I couldn't find my car keys, I always put them in the same place. They turned out to be in a jacket pocket that I don't even remember wearing.

Could your DH have picked it up and put it in a pocket, in the glove box of his car, randomly moved it somewhere else?

Can you prove it was them?

Have you looked everywhere for it even in weird places? Has DP checked his car?

Are you sure your partner didn’t just put it somewhere else? Is it in the car?

It would be a bold move for one of two workmen to take it. They’d know that a) it would be noticed immediately, and b) they’d be the only suspects.

Have they finished the work? I wouldn't say anything until it's done, but then yes I might be inclined to speak to Bob.

maybe your partner forgot where he put it .

I’d be surprised if workmen took it to be honest.

I would say something, yes. I had to do this when a cleaner took my new phone. She was a new assistant to the regular cleaner. I got it back with the excuse that she'd mixed it up with hers and taken it accidentally. I categorically do not believe that, as it had a bright distinctive case, my own screen photo and so on, but I thanked them and left it at that. It's worth you mentioning it in case it prompts them to do the same - they may make up some weak excuse to return it, phrase it in a way that allows them to do that.

You really have to be sure before you accuse someone or even hint at it. My mother's best friend of 30yrs accused her of stealing a ring as she was the only other person in the house. They had a huge falling out over it. The friend eventually found it on the bathroom floor behind the toilet. She tried to apologise but the damage was done. My mam will never speak to her again.

Search everywhere.

"Bob, could you and Andy keep an eye out for a small box with an engagement ring in it? DP was supposed to take it to the shop but he looks to have lost it! Bloody expensive mistake that was. I might have to trawl back through the CCTV to see if he's dropped it in the house or garden. Thanks so much for your help."

However, it is much more likely your DP has accidentally misplaced it than the workman have taken it.

If it did happen to be one of them, it might give them the chance to 'find' it for you.

Me too, it’d be more than their job was worth, surely.

My sister, years ago lost her engagement ring and was adamant it was the electrician they had in over a 3 day period, he said no way not me! No proof nothing, so of course it was left at that.

She moved last year and while decluttering found her ring in the jar she uses for straws! As you can imagine it's not a very used jar, she just likes things in things! The ring was lost over 12 years... Ofc hers had simply come off her finger - but still, you need to be very certain before accusing. Check absolutely everywhere.

They won’t have taken it. Your partner has moved it.

There's absolutely no point. If they did steal it they arent going to admit to it, if they didn't - even worse!
I would suggest if you place expensive jewellery next to an unlocked door, the builders are not the only suspects. The most likely thing is that you or your dh have misplaced it. Do you have children?

You can't possibly know that. Workmen can and do steal from homes, it's a common enough occurrence.

I don't know about your ring doorbell but mine does sometimes cut out and miss things, so it's not impossible someone else has swiped it. But I agree, if your DP forgot to take it for the adjustment it's much more likely he absentmindedly moved it somewhere before then failing to take it with him.

Wasn't this a plot line in "Ghosts" ?

Ooh! One of the resident Ghosts has pushed it into one of the workmen's tool boxes!

I think you've lost it yourselves between you. The workmen surely didn't push open your door and grab a box at random. They'd need to know what they were looking at and looking for. I am guessing it's somewhere super random.

I don't understand why it would take you more than about two minutes to go through your Ring camera footage??? Do that first.

But yes I bet a squillion pounds that it turns up.

It doesn’t seem likely that it was the workmen as they’ve only been working in the garden. They would have had to be inside the house and know the ring was there to steal it.
Are you sure your dp hasn’t misplaced it?

Read the op.

Oh sorry, so the OP doesn't have a Ring camera on the front door?

OK well that's a mistake. Get that sorted for a start!