AIBU to think my employer cannot insist I cover old scars? *[content warning: mentions self-harm]

[ThisCyanBeaker]

years ago I used to $elf h4rm and now have scars. I work as a rugby coach for 2-5 year olds since September and last Saturday due to the heat I wore short sleeves for the first time. my big boss called me today to tell me that my scars being show damage the company image and therefore I need to cover up. When kids ask what happened at past jobs I always say I fell off my bike and quickly divert it back to them I understand how conduct myself. am I being unreasonable. I do try to cover up but surely when it is over 25 degrees it's okay and parents aren't put off too much by my arms?

Whilst i am not gay the sport my DD was involved in had quite a large gay participation. I never once witnessed anyone projecting anything in the positive or negative so i had zero ball in that game. I couldnt care less what their sexual orientation. I must admit i never once witnessed anything that would even mark them out as gay. In fact my daughters coach was gay, i thought so little about it i had forgotten.

On the other hand there were plenty of people with eating dissorders and i have personally experienced people with SH issues and it has been very hard to avoid having those conversations. So i avoid them. Simple as that. If someone covers up their SH scar, as ive said previously if they dont mention it, i wouldnt know.

@FayeMumsnet Thank you. It's hard reading some of these comments as someone who's recovered from depression and SH. It seems we still have a long way to go with acceptance of mental illness.

Genuine answer. I would rather leave it to chance that they somehow manage to avoid thinking SH is somehow a good idea. I dont believe this is one of those situations that helps society by highlighting the issue

I agree.

It makes literally no difference to me what someone's scars were caused by. I don't even consider it my business tbh.

And parents should be telling their children it isn't their business either. Not every question a child asks needs to be answered.

Where do you get the idea from that anyone is ever going to suggest that self harm is a good idea?

Some disgusting attitudes towards MH on this thread, which will be far more damaging to a child than them seeing some scars and not knowing what they are.I know who I'd rather have around my kids.

That's not unreasonable. Perhaps just saying "I had an accident but all better now" would take away any specifics.

OP have you posted about this before? The "I say I fell off my bike" bit seems very familiar?

I agree to a point but the basis of this thread is about someone working with children and being asked to cover up. I think that is reasonable (if it is lawful). Thats the basis of any of my answers where if i have the choice (paying customer/parent) then i would either request from management the persons scars are covered up or vote with my feet and remove my child.

Its that simple. I dont want to lie to my child that someone fell off a bike or fell in some bushes. I dont want to worry about conversations being had when i am not there. As ive said earlier if the person involved has covered them up i may never know and i would be oblivious. It may still be a risk of discussion but thats something outwith my control.

My answers are all geared towards understanding why the manager asked for them to be covered up. It may not be lawful but there may be some understanding.

You think people self harm as a way to show off and let everyone know they have it??

You don't have to lie. You can just say she was hurt and it left a scar but she's better now, a young child doesn't have to know every detail.

It really isn't lawful and the manager needs to tread very carefully. Especially if OP complains.

As a society we shouldn't be avoiding the difficult questions. That's just a cop-out. Nobody should be hiding anything away just because it makes you uncomfortable.

I don't to be honest. I have facial disfigurement and scars from cancer, both me and someone like op got our scars through a health issue, that we've managed to get through and come out the other side.

We've both been unfortunate with the health lottery and got through a health battle

So what if someone who has a disfigurement from an accident affects your child's state of mind? Or a severely disabled child in a wheelchair? You do your child no favours trying to shield from ever feeling a moment of disquiet or discomfort