AIBU to think my employer cannot insist I cover old scars? *[content warning: mentions self-harm]

[ThisCyanBeaker]

years ago I used to $elf h4rm and now have scars. I work as a rugby coach for 2-5 year olds since September and last Saturday due to the heat I wore short sleeves for the first time. my big boss called me today to tell me that my scars being show damage the company image and therefore I need to cover up. When kids ask what happened at past jobs I always say I fell off my bike and quickly divert it back to them I understand how conduct myself. am I being unreasonable. I do try to cover up but surely when it is over 25 degrees it's okay and parents aren't put off too much by my arms?

How bad are the scars?

I personally cannot see an issue with this.

I know some employers have rules on tattoos being visible.

I'd ask for a copy of the employee handbook/dress code.

What if the scaring was due to some other than self harm? Would they still expect you to cover up? For example burns?

Edit to say ( see no issue with the scars. My reply was ambiguous

“Damage the company image” is an absolute load of bollocks and an awful thing to say to you! I’m so sorry your boss is such a prat.

There’s a big difference between tattoos and scars though.

I agree which I why don't don't see an issue with scars.

Sorry I'm clarifying my earlier reply.....
.
I don't see an issue with scars on display.

I have a big issue with your boss. He's a dickhead!

it is a franchise and there is no central uniform / appearance guidelines. and none was given to me upon entering employment there. the only thing given was the work t-shirt which when it is cooler I wear over a base layer

Gosh this makes me sad. My 17yo has extensive SH scarsnon her arms and it would break my heart for someone to say this to her and thisbis the reason she still isn't confident enough to have her arms out in summer :(

Ah I misread it as you not having a problem with the boss wanting them covered up!

CALL A FUCKING EMPLOYNENT LAWYER!

Yanbu and so glad you survived x

To be fair, I don’t think most bosses would behave in this way. At least I hope not!

I'd personally ignore him.

I always cover mine up around children.

Unfortunately seeing someone they look up to or admire with obvious self harm scars does increase the chances that they will self harm too.

The longer children can go without being exposed to the concept of self harm the better.

I would agree if I were working with vunreble teenagers or ages 11-16 but these are 2-5 year olds who will not know nor understand. like I say when little children ask I say I fell of my bike.

I doubt very much that young children would know they are self harm scars. Your manager has no right to ask you to cover up. As a PP said, what if they were as a result of an accident, would they want them covered?

Legally they can’t - it’s covered in the disibility discrimination act 2010. I’d speak to acas.

This would be my worry. Not for your employer to tell you, but as someone who works with chikdren, is it a concern for you OP?

If they gave you the t-shirt, then that's arguably what you are expected to wear.

He's on a sticky wicket for discrimination., unless they are open wounds, or there are health and safety concerns he can't ask you to cover them.

As for the company image - having a manager who doesn't understand the Equality Act doesn't give a good impression!

I wouldn't want my children seeing them so I can understand why they've done it.

Why not? (I’m asking this With genuine interest - not to be difficult)

what is your particular issue with infants seeing someone who has scars on their arms. I would hope parents would not mind exposing their children to all different types of people regardless of if they look diffrnet - genuinely curious

2-5 yo is a pretty impactful age to see self harm scars - they’re quite distinctive / different to those after an accident etc. I would understand if he framed it in that light (as in - hey would really appreciate if you could cover due to children asking questions) but him saying it’ll damage the company image is disgusting. There’s a big difference between considering what is age / industry appropriate for their customers and just plain judgement.

Why?

I have children. I have SH scars. My children have never been at risk due to my scars.
2/3 of them have enquired about them. I have explained they're just scars and pivoted the conversation to why the body scars, how it heals and how it's best to protect out skin to avoid scarring.

Discrimination against what?

There is a well documented social contagion aspect to self harm.

And some children start earlier than teens.