To get wound up by random men making stupid, rude comments when I’m visibly struggling in public?

[shutityouduffer]

This gets me so fuming. Name changed.

Today I have no car with me. I have to collect something from the post office as it’s needed for a family holiday, we’re setting off early tomorrow. For reference it’s a tabletop barbecue. It said on the John Lewis website it was 12kg and I thought I’d be ok to pick it up myself.

I get the parcel and it’s massive, i cant get my arms around it, and turns out the gross weight of the package is over 20kg. iThe post office is only a 10-min walk from mine, so I pick it up and attempt to carry it, awkwardly and in 25 degree weather.

Now this bbq has “SHARKNINJA” written on the side of the box. A man walks past, can see I’m struggling. He chooses to say, very loudly at me, “SHARK NINJA.” I say yes, trying to move past him. He then turns to his mate and says “I should’ve kicked it.” Wtf???? it doesn’t even make sense - what goes through this man’s head?

Another incident last week - I’m walking my golden retriever, he’s a puppy not yet neutered, but dogs on both sides of the road take exception to him and start barking at him (happens a lot with unneutered males) so I whisk him out into the road to avoid both sets of dogs. No traffic. He’s a softy and he paws at me, because he’s stressed (he wants to be picked up for reference). Man on the pavement shouts, again with a mate, “are you sure you can handle that dog?” As I’m trying to get him safely back onto the pavement. Again what is the point??? I don’t even acknowledge it and then his mate shouts after me, “he was only joking!”

AIBU to be sent into a rage by these stupid comments? I should say a couple of (different) men offered to help with the package and were very kind, so I have no general vendetta against men. But it’s never women making unasked for, unhelpful and rude comments when I’m already visibly stressed out…

This is the “cheer up love”- brigade, isn’t it?

Was he talking about you or the box when he said I should have kicked it? wtf is wrong with these idiots

These things piss me off too. Twice I've been putting my trolley away at Aldi recently and stupid men have commented on my baby son sat in the trolley (one being "you want to get a refund for him")
Another time my husband and I adopted an unwanted Alsatian puppy in November (we had her until she died aged 13). I was on a walk with her and sat on a bench with her on my lap for a few minutes when some twatty man in the distance shouted "they aren't just for Christmas!"
Cunts

Am with you OP. It’s because it’s our job to laugh at these witty and erudite observations to bolster their fragile egos 🙄

Cheer up it might never happen. Someone said that to me when I was leaving the hospital straight after my parent died

Its the equivalent of you could get a bus through there brigade ir standing watching whilst you parallel park

Came onto the drive in my car after working nightshift (NHS) at around 7am in the morning utterly exhuasted. Guy walking down the road shouts at me "Been partying all night have you love" in sarcastic tone. As soon as I got out of the car and he saw my uniform he soon shut up. I don't know how they think they've got the right to hurl unwanted comments across the street at people. Vile man

I think it was a reference to the box saying “ninja” on it (that being the brand name) but I have no idea in all honesty!

Unsolicited comments from strangers (from a safe distance of course) are so annoying. I struggle to understand what people gain from it, I’ve learned to ignore them and get a kick out of them being discomfited by the lack of reaction.

Men

I assume the kicking comment refers to a Ninja martial arts type move.

I guess they might be trying to be friendly in a misguided sort of way. An actual offer of help would obviously be much more welcome.

Yes. Sat in the pub a few weeks back with my other half. I got up to use the ladies and had to walk past the big screen so I bobbed down while passing so no one missed anything important. A man sat with another bloke at the table next to the ladies says "you aren't that tall you know" I replied maybe not but I've got manners. They were still there when I went for a second visit and I didn't Bob down because I just wanted to be left alone. The creep said you didn't bend over that time. BEND OVER? I'd stooped my head. I was irritated. I just said ahh well, hard shit and continued to the ladies visably irritated

oh fgs, bloody idiot 🙄

"Thank you, Random Man" is the retort you're looking for. Along with 😐

The one I used to get the most and it used to drive me crazy was "They're bad for you" when I smoked, yes I know they are thanks for that. And yes I really do know, I have given up now 😅

Products of the Manosphere.

I thought the shark ninja thing was funny 🤷‍♀️

I think completely blanking them is a good idea, or looking at them like they’ve got two heads…

These replies are brilliant, what a lot of tosspots there are roaming the streets! I had another incident like this a few weeks bacK - which I had totally forgotten about - I went into our local curry house on a Saturday night to collect an order. My DP waited in the car outside. While I’m in the reception bit waiting by the till to ask about the collection, about 15 blokes come in and line up behind me. Obviously they’re there for a table. Then suddenly one of them walks behind the bar/till area and says “How can I help?”

I take it at face value, and say, I’m here to collect an order and show him the screen on my justeat app. He grabs a random piece of paper from behind the bar and says “is this your order?” A few of the others laugh, and I clock what’s going on so just put my phone away. To be fair one of his mates says “stop it with the toxic masculinity” to him, which was well put! But then I had to stand there for another five minutes with them which was extemely awkward

Yes. There are some men who literally say anything that comes into their heads. Limited is what they are.

Yes it’s never women who make these stupid remarks. I’d offer help if I could but making stupid, pointless, unhelpful remarks has never been on my (female) radar. I actually heard a man old enough to be her father, tell a young woman to ‘smile’ a few month’s ago. Poor girl just smiled weakly, I’m old enough now to have glared at him instead.

Men are dicks and nearly every mumsnet thread confirms this

It must be some sort of dominance ritual. They don't bother once you are out of the age range they deem fuckable.

They want your attention and are past the age of being able to pull on your skirt and say "Lady! lady! look at me I'm Spiderman I am!"

I was getting a lift to an event with a couple of friends - in a 3 door car. The car stopped working (clutch issues?) on a busy junction on a sort of roundabout where we were in the central lane of 3 on a busy road into the city centre. I jumped out and started pushing - it wasn't easy for the 3rd friend as she was in the back of the car and would have had to tip the seat and awkwardly crawl out (very small car - thankfully!). Luckily the first bit of the push wasn't too bad, and a bus stopped the traffic (double decker!) so that we could get over to the left hand lane but then it started going uphill slightly towards traffic lights. 3 men were passing - they said something like 'Whoa, Girl Power!' and at the same time a passing woman of a similar age (50s) rushed over and started to help me push. Typical attitude really!

I usually use my middle finger for those kind of blokes and that usually shuts them up.