To get wound up by random men making stupid, rude comments when I’m visibly struggling in public?

[shutityouduffer]

This gets me so fuming. Name changed.

Today I have no car with me. I have to collect something from the post office as it’s needed for a family holiday, we’re setting off early tomorrow. For reference it’s a tabletop barbecue. It said on the John Lewis website it was 12kg and I thought I’d be ok to pick it up myself.

I get the parcel and it’s massive, i cant get my arms around it, and turns out the gross weight of the package is over 20kg. iThe post office is only a 10-min walk from mine, so I pick it up and attempt to carry it, awkwardly and in 25 degree weather.

Now this bbq has “SHARKNINJA” written on the side of the box. A man walks past, can see I’m struggling. He chooses to say, very loudly at me, “SHARK NINJA.” I say yes, trying to move past him. He then turns to his mate and says “I should’ve kicked it.” Wtf???? it doesn’t even make sense - what goes through this man’s head?

Another incident last week - I’m walking my golden retriever, he’s a puppy not yet neutered, but dogs on both sides of the road take exception to him and start barking at him (happens a lot with unneutered males) so I whisk him out into the road to avoid both sets of dogs. No traffic. He’s a softy and he paws at me, because he’s stressed (he wants to be picked up for reference). Man on the pavement shouts, again with a mate, “are you sure you can handle that dog?” As I’m trying to get him safely back onto the pavement. Again what is the point??? I don’t even acknowledge it and then his mate shouts after me, “he was only joking!”

AIBU to be sent into a rage by these stupid comments? I should say a couple of (different) men offered to help with the package and were very kind, so I have no general vendetta against men. But it’s never women making unasked for, unhelpful and rude comments when I’m already visibly stressed out…

Sorry for your loss

I had similar, I got off a train and went to get a taxi. Driver made a remark along the lines of "who died". Actually a close relative had just passed.

I do too but then you get the “oooh get you”. Funny how women don’t make these comments to men.

It’s never other men that these random men engage in their small talk / comments though, is it?

I had a similar thing this morning. I bought a new dress that I really like, it's a floor length button-up shirt dress and it turns out that the lower buttons open when you walk. I was re-doing up one of the buttons on my way to work this morning, which was mid-thigh, and a man felt the need to shout "your muff's on show!"
I don't know why some men feel compelled to comment.

Next door were having an extension done and the man who owned the property was very old, in all honesty I didn't know why he was getting it done, I was WFH in the room with the adjacent wall and suddenly a whole drill head came through the wall. I went out to the garden to tell them and they denied it and blamed the 90 year old neighbour. I have a cat house in my garden and was checking if the cat was in their, one of the builders proceeded to change the subject from the hole in my wall and asked, "what do you keep in that small house is it a Lion?" Much laughter from his colleagues. Yes, yes it's a Lion, if course it is. Don't worry yourselves about the massive hole that you have drilled through the wall and blamed the 90 year old resident for!! 🙄

Utter bastards

so sorry for both of your loss that reminds me of when I went to the hospital for a routine breast check, they found something abnormal and I had to have a biopsy, which was a bit of a shock. I got a taxi home, my taxi driver (despite picking me up from a hospital) said I had a “face like a slapped arse” because I wasn’t engaging with his chat. I wasn’t rude at all, just shellshocked and unable to
do small talk.

I still get the occasional remark, but a lot less often now I’m old, fat and grey. I find a carefully neutral “ thanks for your input” works well for me. Any further engagement gets the yes/no/okay/right one-word non-answer treatment, and it’s a very obtuse species of twat who’ll try to carry it on.

I always wonder if they have girlfriends or wives, and what their evenings in must be like, given the rigour of their enquiries.

I was at home bargains parking up and a middle aged man came wandering over and said: I usually like to criticise women for their parking but that was actually very well done. I was totally rendered speechless what the fuck do you say to that, what goes through people's minds

I expect you should be ecstatic that you're not like the other girls ................

This made me laugh - without casting aspersions, these men appeared to be well into their retirement years with wicker sun hats, tucked in shirts, shorts with belts etc. I would bet upwards of a million that they were not in fact secret TikTok marketers

What an utter wanker.

Oh for goodness sake. I have had unasked for guidance from one male passer by when parking on my drive.

No to the poster who was wearing them while on her laptop at the tube when a strupid random man demanded her attention by asking where her bag was from.

Yet on that thread she had other posters imploring her to Be Kind and Be Polite.

Men demand the attention of women as a means of controlling them and how they conduct themselves into the world. Many many people don't seem to get that.

I agree the kicking comment was probably in reference to the ninja. However, it's a bit rude trying to crack wise when someone is fighting against an awkward package. Try not to let the comments wind you up.

If it helps my stock response to men attempting to be funny is "That's very funny, you should be on stage....sweeping it".

🤣

You live in a village full of idiots @shutityouduffer

I have lived in London for years and can definitely parallel park, reverse park, whatever. Several times a random man will start giving me advice on how to park my car. I find it incredibly irritating. And there is no way that they would do that to a man.

You are pissed off you can't come back with a witty putdown? Unless comments are rude/racist/misogynist, what is the problem?

My favourite thing to say to men when they make a 'joke' like this is

'Can you explain that to me, I don't understand the joke' over and over again while they tie themselves in knots

'No, still don't get it, why is that funny?'

Think of them as your hecklers OP, desperate to be noticed.

I wholeheartedly agree, I have been driving since I passed my first test at 17 in London that was over 25 years ago!

Awful men and comments. I’m glad some other ones were nicer. There are dickheads everywhere it seems.
I had one the other week - I (early 50s, wearing no makeup) was walking home in our village at about 9.30 at night with my 11 yo daughter. Two men got out of a taxi, one was quite drunk. It was still light and we commented on that. As I walked on I heard him say “Look at the arse on that.” I was really annoyed that a man would make such a comment with a child present, I sincerely hope he was not talking about her.

Yes I do not want to be spoken to as I go about my daily life. Im introvert and shy. I will tolerate a quick hi from a stranger walk a dog past my house if I am outside. But no. This happened a few time to me recently and o really just wanted to tell you them to fuck off. Something inane from a person who “everyone loves and is friendly and chatty” no. Do not talk to me. I do not care for you misogynistic witticisms.

i think they will like the thanks random man so now I just started with my mouth slightly open. Like I’m clueless.