To get wound up by random men making stupid, rude comments when I’m visibly struggling in public?

[shutityouduffer]

This gets me so fuming. Name changed.

Today I have no car with me. I have to collect something from the post office as it’s needed for a family holiday, we’re setting off early tomorrow. For reference it’s a tabletop barbecue. It said on the John Lewis website it was 12kg and I thought I’d be ok to pick it up myself.

I get the parcel and it’s massive, i cant get my arms around it, and turns out the gross weight of the package is over 20kg. iThe post office is only a 10-min walk from mine, so I pick it up and attempt to carry it, awkwardly and in 25 degree weather.

Now this bbq has “SHARKNINJA” written on the side of the box. A man walks past, can see I’m struggling. He chooses to say, very loudly at me, “SHARK NINJA.” I say yes, trying to move past him. He then turns to his mate and says “I should’ve kicked it.” Wtf???? it doesn’t even make sense - what goes through this man’s head?

Another incident last week - I’m walking my golden retriever, he’s a puppy not yet neutered, but dogs on both sides of the road take exception to him and start barking at him (happens a lot with unneutered males) so I whisk him out into the road to avoid both sets of dogs. No traffic. He’s a softy and he paws at me, because he’s stressed (he wants to be picked up for reference). Man on the pavement shouts, again with a mate, “are you sure you can handle that dog?” As I’m trying to get him safely back onto the pavement. Again what is the point??? I don’t even acknowledge it and then his mate shouts after me, “he was only joking!”

AIBU to be sent into a rage by these stupid comments? I should say a couple of (different) men offered to help with the package and were very kind, so I have no general vendetta against men. But it’s never women making unasked for, unhelpful and rude comments when I’m already visibly stressed out…

It really wasn’t.

I was told I looked like a horse with a nosebag on when masked up at work during covid. All I could manage in reply, as I was chowing down on my oats, was "Oh, well".

Then I trotted off into the distance, kicking up dust into his rheumy old eyes in my wild west dreams 🐎

I had a similar cheer up situation after my dad died. I'm erm fairly gobby when provoked and let him have it.

He did look shame faced and said very sincerely "I'm so sorry love" to which I said "I'm not your fucking love". I did feel a bit bad for that afterwards as he seemed genuinely sorry but ah well.

Oh God I know EXACTLY what you mean. It’s always men, always 50-70 sort of age group, making bloody irritating unhelpful comments when it’s clear you just need to be left the fuck alone and are more than aware of whatever your ‘problem’ is.

Yesterday I was walking down the pavement (v wide) and stopped as I had a stone in my sandal, which I bashed out. Some bloke walks past and says ‘oooh, your fault for wearing sandals that. Just wear proper shoes’ JUST FUCK OFF.

They don’t do it to be funny, or just as chit chat (I don’t mind chit chat), they do it to momentarily show you up in a ‘aren’t you dizzy/stupid little woman, I would never end up in whatever situation you’re in because I AM MAN’ no matter how minor that situation may be.

I absolutely hate it and don’t even reply now.

I once had a twat male making a comment to me about cocaine use as he was passing me by in in my lunch break in Bishopsgate. I either had a cold or bad hayfever and was just sniffing with a tissue, nothing to do with drugs. He was probably going on the fact that as it’s common in the City that he assumed that’s why I was sniffing. Luckily I wasn’t with my colleagues or boss!

Yes, that’s excellent! I shall be using this 😁

“Looks like you’ve forgotten the fishes, though, mate”

Any time a man makes unsolicited comments I usually reply with "sorry I don't have any change".

Interesting these ‘lonely men’ never try to strike up chat with similarly aged men, or men at all, given the far higher likelihood of it striking up more of an ongoing friendship.

It’s always women, usually alone or with their small children.

This is brilliant

Yes, I agree, they absolutely do it out of a sense of superiority.

Yes, that is very good!

I remember distinctly coming out of Tesco with 4 children in lockdown and a mountain of shopping, about two weeks after my husband walked out (taking the family 7 seater and leaving me with the small 3 door runaround) and being told by a man that “you’ve got far too many kids for that tiny car”.

it was the straw that broke the camels back and I think I sobbed for about two hours solid.

DD (aged 19, looks young for her age and could easily be assumed to be 16ish) was waiting at Euston the other day for a train. Two men in their mid to late twenties (she thinks) came up to her and one said 'you're so beautiful but your posture is terrible'. I mean WTF. Luckily she doesn't take any crap and said 'Fuck you, I don't want your pointless opinion', put her headphones back on and ignored them.

I was once queuing behind a middle aged lady who was clearly on her last nerve when some twat made one of these comments to her. I can’t remember it, but I can very clearly remember her looking at him and asking him to repeat it, then repeat it again, then explain it to her, then shake her head and ask him to repeat it. Over and over and over again. Even my buttocks were clenched with secondhand embarrassment for him.

I have never admired a woman more!

Depending on my mood would either mildly annoy me or it wouldn't. Just seems like stupid comments 🤷‍♀️I'd just get on with my day. With the shark ninja one I'd prob said watch out hiyaaaa!😅

🤣🤣🤣

You're too nice for your own good. They were being total knobs and men like that need to keep their 'funny' wisecracks to themselves.

About 15 years ago I turned my ankle stepping down a kerb when I was out running. It was very painful (which must have been clear from my face) and I started limping slowly away. A man who had witnessed this wandered over (I naively assumed he would ask if I was ok or needed help) but he proceeded to smugly tell me that this is precisely why running is so bad for you and that my body will be knackered by the time I'm 50 (it isn't!). He was smoking a cigarette and looked like he'd never done a minute's exercise in his life.

I absolutely love this. I've done it when men tell rape jokes as well. It really makes them squirm and hopefully think about what they're saying

Two general elections ago I had a male canvasser for the Conservatives knock on the door and ask to speak to my husband. I responded that "Married women have had the vote for about a hundred years" in my most cutting voice. He soon shut up.
Hardly surprising though, given that the candidate was Rees Mogg.

Should have said, "You need a couple of bottles of water to turn into wine now"

I remember being in a small village shop years ago buying a bar of chocolate...a random man warned me that i would get fat...so tedious.

It's never women who comment I completely agree.

I was running in the heat and a man said 'it's too hot for that', but it really wasn't necessary to comment at all!

Men wonder why there's a men's mental health crisis. It's because they make knob head comments which piss people off!

Also there was a thread not so long ago- "head turned" where a poor unsuspecting school mum had by chance walked across a car park with the male (married!) OP who was also on school pick up and he was posting because he couldn't get her out of his head.

If you make small talk back there's always a chance they think you're up for it/they're in there/insert manosphere BS

Sigh.