To get wound up by random men making stupid, rude comments when I’m visibly struggling in public?

[shutityouduffer]

This gets me so fuming. Name changed.

Today I have no car with me. I have to collect something from the post office as it’s needed for a family holiday, we’re setting off early tomorrow. For reference it’s a tabletop barbecue. It said on the John Lewis website it was 12kg and I thought I’d be ok to pick it up myself.

I get the parcel and it’s massive, i cant get my arms around it, and turns out the gross weight of the package is over 20kg. iThe post office is only a 10-min walk from mine, so I pick it up and attempt to carry it, awkwardly and in 25 degree weather.

Now this bbq has “SHARKNINJA” written on the side of the box. A man walks past, can see I’m struggling. He chooses to say, very loudly at me, “SHARK NINJA.” I say yes, trying to move past him. He then turns to his mate and says “I should’ve kicked it.” Wtf???? it doesn’t even make sense - what goes through this man’s head?

Another incident last week - I’m walking my golden retriever, he’s a puppy not yet neutered, but dogs on both sides of the road take exception to him and start barking at him (happens a lot with unneutered males) so I whisk him out into the road to avoid both sets of dogs. No traffic. He’s a softy and he paws at me, because he’s stressed (he wants to be picked up for reference). Man on the pavement shouts, again with a mate, “are you sure you can handle that dog?” As I’m trying to get him safely back onto the pavement. Again what is the point??? I don’t even acknowledge it and then his mate shouts after me, “he was only joking!”

AIBU to be sent into a rage by these stupid comments? I should say a couple of (different) men offered to help with the package and were very kind, so I have no general vendetta against men. But it’s never women making unasked for, unhelpful and rude comments when I’m already visibly stressed out…

I used to get random men "guiding" me into spaces when I was in uniform and driving a postal van!

I suggest you stare him in the face and say "Would you have said that to me if I was a man?"
This happened to me in my early 20s. Stupid man rushed out of his NCP parking kiosk to congratulate me in my parking. Knobhead

@Nogimachi Sadly I think 11/12 is when girls start getting unwanted attention from men. I wanted to scream “she’s a fucking child” at them when it happened to my daughter.

I complain when I can, I’m too old for this bullshit now

taxi driver called me a ginger minger then miserable when I wouldn’t laugh along. Complained
builders on a retail park shouting vile stuff at teenage girls. Big sign with their company name. Complained
NHS white van tailgating me every morning in a 30 zone, did an overtake on the brow of a hill and nearly wiped someone out. Complained

I know it’s not in good taste but I would have been tempted to tell him I’d jus been told I had a month to live, so he has upset me very much with his comment. Maybe (or maybe not) he would have realised what an utter arsehole he is.

I agree and would have complained too. I won’t just let it go nowadays if I can make a complaint.

I worked behind a bar at a wedding during Covid - at the stage where we were getting back to normal but with restrictions. I was using hand sanitizer in between serving customers. Some twat saw me using the hand sanitizer and said “That stuff doesn’t work you know, don’t bother with it.”

I just ignored him but I wish I’d told him I’m not just looking to avoid Covid but that generally it is wise to practise hand hygiene when serving him and his beloved family with beverages in a global pandemic, and also that Covid isn’t the only virus that exists. Absolute braindead moron

I used to have a St Bernard dog. His breeder had sadly given him up when he was no good for the show ring so he was an adult when we got him and beautifully trained on the lead.

To be fair, I suppose we did look rather comical together as he was enormous and I am small (5'0" in thick socks) but you would not believe how many times men - always men - felt the need to shout to me "Who's taking who for a walk?" I always used to reply "Huh? How do you mean?" and they'd just repeat it, so I'd say "No, sorry, I still don't get it " and if they said it again I'd say "Well, I'm taking him for a walk, obviously, because he's a dog and I'm a person" with a puzzled look on my face. It was tremendous watching them looking more and more awkward 😁. I hoped they'd think again in future before shouting their inane comments at anyone else.

Miss my big lad 💔

I've had this often. I have 360 cameras which is the reason why I can park well, but how many times have I had men waving, shouting, appearing behind my car to direct me, and persisting even though I've said no thanks I don't need help. One said to me do you know how close you were to that wall. Yes I fucking do because I deliberately drove my car there and knew exactly what I was doing.

I was driving/parking our c'van on a pitch at a Club site: Three old (well over 70s) men were sitting together watching and then clapped and said well done when I had put it correctly on the pitch. DH was doing other stuff around the c'van.

So, I walked over and asked each of them what was the largest vehicle they had ever driven. All three replied about a large car and c'van. I informed them that I had driven a 55ton Chieftain Tank (albeit on an experience day but I wasn't going to tell them that).

No further comments were made.

I have a very crooked middle finger and use it often. Stupid men don't get the joke.

I’m so sorry that you experienced that upsetting and bizarre behaviour. What is wrong with men? And it is getting worse. Like some glitch in their brain.

@Charlottian
I get this sort of thing riding my mountain bike.
I was enjoying an adrenaline rush up a very steep hill.
Random middle aged man stood there as my unsolicited cheerleader, applauding and shouting "Go on luv!, you're doing so well! "
Twat.

Omg - i so so sympathise.
As I'm now older ive started to recognise a pattern of stages...

Young woman era - woman receives unwanted sexual comments and then immediate hostile aggression if you rebuff "oooh you think you're too good for me" kinda thing.

30s 40s early 50s woman - woman receives stupid jokey bants - their crap idea of flirting or whatever ... but still annoying.

late 50s 60s - im now entering this era and in past two weeks alone ive had older men just approach me and literally watch me as ive been carrying something/ unloading a car. The final time i just said "why are you just staring at me it's weird..."
i think this era now attracts attention from men now too old to think of even the inane comments!!

God help us!

If there’s more than one, I’ve found that catching the eye of one of the mates and doing a side eye at Mr Stupid turns the tables on these assholes because suddenly their friends are laughing at them instead of with them, and they don’t know why.

It’s very satisfying.

Haven’t worked out a strategy for the lone loudmouths other than fantasising about stabbing them.

I had a man say that to me in a shopping centre. I was getting a dress for my mum's funeral I was 24 😞

Wow, so annoying, I think they always think you should be giving them some extensive gratitude as well like a reward!

Similar experience with my DD, who has always been tall for her age but around the age of 12/13, the amount of middle age men gawping at her while we would be shopping was unreal! She now works in a small tesco and the men, (it's ALWAYS a man) making comments 'you look pretty today/I like your silver jewellery (whilst trying to grab her hand)/ your hair is lovely, wish my wife's was like that (yes, really!) 🤬 she ignores/blanks them.

I had a market stall bloke comment 'morning love, cheer up'. He regrets saying that after I bawled him out for a) not being his love and b) my DM was extremely ill and was told she was on palliative care hence my look of utter despair. After asking if he'd say that to a bloke, or my DH, he shook his head and hid behind the rails 🤣 dick.

Another one...a man pushed in front of me (shock) to pick up newspapers from the cabinet outside a shop, I was glaring at the back of his head and was about to say (sarcastically), 'oh please, you go first mate' when another entitled twat came out the shop, saw me glaring and said 'have a bit of patience love, it helps make the world go round'. I just quietly said 'go fuck yourself'. He shrivelled up and walked away. Another dick.

And people are wondering why women aren't having so many children these days...could it be that we are utterly sick of having to deal with these kind of twats?! Who the hell would want children with the kind of idiots we have mentioned on here??!!

Sorry that was so long but this kind of stuff really pisses me off 😤

Perfect, I will be using this!

Pompous, condescending bastard

I'm all for talking to lonely people, but it's not my responsibility to assume every annoying man is lonely, nor is it my responsibility to entertain lonely men!

I hope you told them that! They'd have felt like a right arse! Sorry people are so rude

💯

Actions have consequences.

When my kids were younger I did get many unsolicited comments from other women- older women; "he must be hot/cold/ he's hungry/tired/winy" thank you ladies it's my baby and I am very attuned to his needs. But on the other hand many lovely comments from women as well.

It's the entitlement to comment that's annoying. I also get, "you've really mastered that" from a man that lives down the road from me about parking on the drive as it's hard to back onto.