To get wound up by random men making stupid, rude comments when I’m visibly struggling in public?

[shutityouduffer]

This gets me so fuming. Name changed.

Today I have no car with me. I have to collect something from the post office as it’s needed for a family holiday, we’re setting off early tomorrow. For reference it’s a tabletop barbecue. It said on the John Lewis website it was 12kg and I thought I’d be ok to pick it up myself.

I get the parcel and it’s massive, i cant get my arms around it, and turns out the gross weight of the package is over 20kg. iThe post office is only a 10-min walk from mine, so I pick it up and attempt to carry it, awkwardly and in 25 degree weather.

Now this bbq has “SHARKNINJA” written on the side of the box. A man walks past, can see I’m struggling. He chooses to say, very loudly at me, “SHARK NINJA.” I say yes, trying to move past him. He then turns to his mate and says “I should’ve kicked it.” Wtf???? it doesn’t even make sense - what goes through this man’s head?

Another incident last week - I’m walking my golden retriever, he’s a puppy not yet neutered, but dogs on both sides of the road take exception to him and start barking at him (happens a lot with unneutered males) so I whisk him out into the road to avoid both sets of dogs. No traffic. He’s a softy and he paws at me, because he’s stressed (he wants to be picked up for reference). Man on the pavement shouts, again with a mate, “are you sure you can handle that dog?” As I’m trying to get him safely back onto the pavement. Again what is the point??? I don’t even acknowledge it and then his mate shouts after me, “he was only joking!”

AIBU to be sent into a rage by these stupid comments? I should say a couple of (different) men offered to help with the package and were very kind, so I have no general vendetta against men. But it’s never women making unasked for, unhelpful and rude comments when I’m already visibly stressed out…

They are misogynists. They don’t say this stuff to men.

I'd have just said 'No'.
And stared at him.

This kind of stuff makes me so angry. It’s never women saying this shite, is it?!

@shutityouduffer you should have shouted your username at them.

When walking my puppy and totally minding my own business I have had several men offering me ‘advice’ on dog training, despite it being clear that I know what I am doing. Some that have forced my dog to meet theirs while it’s obvious I am trying to train him telling me they “need to be socialised”
Whenever I walk past other women walking their dogs we tend to completely understand what the other is trying to achieve if we are trying to give them space and just smile at each other!

I would never heckle a stranger in public, it’s just fucking odd behaviour

You are not wrong. It's always a man.

They do it when driving too, they often do manoeuvres on women they wouldn't dare on a man.

I was in the wrong here and I shouldn't have reacted like this. But I was hot, tired and he pissed me off. It was my right of way, coming down a road, he was the bottom where it goes into like a cross roads where it has wait markings on the floor for left and right.

I just got to this section behind another car, he clearly got impatient and as he had a huge car, started moving forward just as I am passing him and he nearly went into me. I was going slow and I wouldn't let him pass and I stuck my middle finger up at him. He obviously thought I was going to just let him push past me because he had a huge car.

🫣🫣🫣Omg not my finest moment but I am so sick of bully boy men who always push in with their cars or just act aggressive then I do it back this time, ridiculous of me really. They need to learn patience and to wait their turn.

In my case they had drilled a hole in my wall. In fact the builder proceeded to tell me how used to have a cat, well actually a kitten as the kids wanted it but they had to get rid of it as it was actually quite expensive.

Its the "on that" bit as well, like you're not a person but a thing

Because I’m just going about my day, not guesting on Saturday Night Live?

Love this 😂

Tell me about it! I work part time in a bar, the amount of comments I get on repeat is ridiculous. All by men who think they are funny, and think hey are even funnier when drunk. Obviously, because it's my job, I always smile and give a little response back, but in my head I hate on them! Things like
"Look at the jugs on that!" (when carrying jugs of Pimms).
"Look at head on that" if it's a bit foamy,
"Do you know how to use that?" When I had to take a broom and sweep up in the road due to a broken glass after a fight.
"Do you come with it" when they buy a pint,
"Give it some welly!" When pushing down on a tap. and on and on.

Women on the other hand usually just saying "Thank you" pleasantly, or similar.

I'm sorry for your loss. I had the exact same comment whilst cradling my darling old dog at the vets, about to have him pts. What the fuck is wrong with these mono brain celled unoriginal arseholes?

Crikey, how tedious. I had that rubbish in the 00s as a bar person!

The 'mind your own fucking business' brigade.

Yeah you are.

No one is entitled to be made to speak to anyone.

He then called her rude for not responding to his self congratulatory pat on the back for his good bread deed.

I used to do the whole stoic stare / completely ignore them routine but since hitting menopause I find a nice, loud 'Fuck off' invariably ends the situation and makes me feel better.

tbh in the bread situation I probably would have made a jokey comeback - I personally don't mind engaging if it is not rude or condescending however I agree with other posters - it's never other men they engage with is it?

God, they’re everywhere at the moment! Stupid twats!

That's horrible.

I've had a lot of street harassment in my life, but not this. In my experience, strange men have usually been very helpful when I've been struggling with something. I've always been quite plain so it's not pretty privilege.

You’re absolutely right. So disrespectful. And even if I’d been young, attractive, revealingly dressed, out with the girls, completely unacceptable. As an older mum wearing a pair of old jeans and no makeup and walking with her child - have they no shame?

My daughter had a pony when she was little that was perfect in every way except he only liked to hack out in company. If she tried to hack him alone he would spin around to follow someone, any one, home along the bridlepath. So when she was at school I was riding him and trying to give him a bit of confidence. One day we were on the path and a the local RDA group, who were stabled at our yard, were coming past with ponies, riders and helpers, and the pony immediately tried to spin to follow them home. I kept him spinning until he was facing away from home and he planted, so I just sat there, not causing a row but also refusing to let him turn his head for home. I knew if I pushed it with him, he would get scared and then a battle would be on my hands, which I wanted to avoid. I was trying to make it a pleasant experience for him and keep us both safe. I am to old to bounce when I hit the ground!

Simple enough, right? Except a male helper decided to come over and 'help'. I told him to leave the pony alone, but he insisted on walking behind him and then trying to PUSH him down the bridle path! Pony threw his head up but couldn't spin as he was boxed in by small children on ponies on one side and a hedgerow on the other and he was starting to panic. I told this guy three fucking times to take his hands off and go away and in the end, I let the pony spin to face him as the ride got past, lift my dressage whip and tell him where I was going to stick it if he didn't back off.

He then had the cheek to complain about me to the yard manager for being rude! He was "only trying to help", despite knowing fuck all about horses. I bet he wouldn't have taken any responsibility if anyone had been hurt.

Maybe the heat brings these dickheads out??!

This seems an awful lot like the sort of thing a twat who says unfunny shit to random strangers, and is then offended when the strangers in question don't laugh, would say.

Reminds me of years ago when I was in my early 20s and walking down the street and a guy said cheer up it might never happen. That old classic. I stopped and gave him an earful about how me and by boyfriend had just broken up and I had the right to be miserable - not that I even felt I was, I just had a normal ‘walking down the street concentrating on my step’ face.
He looked shocked and didn’t know what to do with himself 😅

I’ve reached an age where I can peer over the top of my glasses and say with schoolmistressy authority ‘Oh, do grow up”.

grim, the thing about it is if you'd been walking with your husband rather than your daughter they'd probably have said nothing at all .........

Who cares what you think, random man .... Is the correct response.

When a random bloke said this to me in identical circumstances. I replied “fuck off, it already has!”

Prick