DD with friend’s family for 8 hours only ate crisps

[Z0rr0]

My DD was invited to an activity with friends today. She ate a toasted English muffin before she left at 8.15. By the time she came back at 4pm she’d only been offered some crisps to eat. I’m grateful the family took her out (I paid for her ticket which was less than a tenner) and hosted her at their home, but I just can’t fathom not offering her some lunch.

Its up to OP how she describes her daughters needs

I think it all depends on what everyone else was doing she might have thought it was rude to speak up and so kept quiet.

It is odd though if you are taking someone out for that length if time you would assume food is factored in.
No harm done though. Just a lesson for next time she gets a similar opportunity x

What is a bit autistic? There is no such thing and it’s straying into the territory of causing offence to those of us who are actually autistic

Isn’t 17 old enough to carry money and feed yourself when you’re hungry?

I thought you were talking about a 4/5 year old. Not an almost adult. Come on OP, is your DD so lacking in independence she can’t think for herself? Does she expect you to make plans for her including lunch?

And other people are free to tell her that's she's using incorrect and offensive terminology.

So not autistic. Gotcha.

I AM autistic.

Not "a little autistic". Autistic. Because it is a medical diagnosis.

HTH.

She’s 17, hardly a child.

She literally just turned 17, but yes we will work on making her more self sufficient.

Absolutely. And it's up to us to correct her.

Do you think the same about cancer? "I am a bit of a cancer patient.""Not diagnosed with cancer."

Can she assemble a sandwich?

I lived on my own at 16. Made pasta at 8. Why haven't you started that process?

Even if she only just turned 17 surely independence is something you work on for years before they are 18. If she forgets to eat presumably she has a phone and she can set an alarm to remind her to eat?

I would have expected the friend to have sorted lunch for herself and OP’s daughter. Parents wouldn’t think to make lunch for some almost adults!

Yeah she would not speak up. Wouldn’t dream of asking. Struggles to converse outside of close friends and family.

It would appear you’ve left it far too late, if she’s barely able to feed herself at 17.

Just because ‘hosting’ seems to be an in word on here now you really don’t need to use it when your child has just been at a friends house for a few hours

I really agree with you. And if think it would be awkward as well for your dd to say she’s hungry or ask for something to eat. Even if someone is coming over to mine for a few hours I would offer food and drinks. Those parents were rude and inhospitable, they could have just offered sandwiches, it’s not that hard really, is it?

So many people see Autism as linear and not a spectrum. This is a prime example. She’s a “little bit”. Like 2cm. Not 40cm 🤨🥴

DD is almost 13. If her friends come over after school they get a hello from me and that’s about it as I’m usually WFH. DD will sort out a snack for them, whether it’s a sandwich or some pasta. I very much doubt it would have occurred to the parents of a 17 year to cater for their child’s friend.

You really need to make your mind up. Have you impressed upon her to make friends food? In another post you say she wouldn’t feed herself……….

17?!?!? I thought you were talking about a five year old. She’s near enough a grown woman, why on earth are you so bothered about whether she’s had lunch! My son spent the summer working in London at that age, he didn’t need his mum to worry he’d only had a bag of crisps.

She’s 17 not 7