DD with friend’s family for 8 hours only ate crisps

[Z0rr0]

My DD was invited to an activity with friends today. She ate a toasted English muffin before she left at 8.15. By the time she came back at 4pm she’d only been offered some crisps to eat. I’m grateful the family took her out (I paid for her ticket which was less than a tenner) and hosted her at their home, but I just can’t fathom not offering her some lunch.

This is a fair point. Although I would have impressed upon her to make her guests food if it was me. She’s a bit autistic so sometimes needs stuff spelled out.

They shouldn't have to 'make sure' that a near adult has had enough to drink. Has the world gone mad?

Dd is 14. She helps herself or nips to the local shops if she fancies something to eat. I'd expect them to sort themselves out

Did you miss the bit that they're 17 and definitely old enough to source their own glass of water?

I thought you were talking about a 6yo

She's 17. Her and her friend should have sorted their own lunch!

17!!!

I thought this was about a 5 year old!!!

What do you mean "she's a bit autistic"?

Christ at 17 I’d expect her and her friend to sort themselves out.

at that age they are often up all night and have meals at strange times so if I was making a meal I’d offer but mostly in my experience they prefer to get deliveroo or make their own food

When my teenagers have friends over I mainly leave them to fend for themselves. The kids know what food is in the house and if they want something else there is a shop a five min walk away. Mostly when my 16yo comes in from friends and I ask her if she has eaten she will say that she made some toast. I don't think that most parents hover olaround offering food when the kids are almost adults.

My teenagers sort themselves for food during the day and I would expect them to offer something to friends as well. I wouldn't be doing lunch for 17 year olds and if they chose to just eat crisps then that's up to them.

I agree with all the others who think it's bonkers that you think this is on the parents. They were hardly looking after her if she's 17 they were at most acting as a taxi service.

Surely she and her friend are used to getting their own lunches?

There's no such thing as "a bit autistic".

At 17, I doubt I would be offering food during the day, if I was even in the house! It’s not really a play date at the age of 17 is it? I would expect the 17yos to sort it among themselves and wouldn’t interfere, I would just leave them to it.

I don’t know what my 17 year old eats most days and I don’t think to ask 😆.

I think none of them ate. It’s not a big deal. She can survive perfectly well without a meal, she took a bottle of water with her. I just would personally be embarrassed to have people here all day and not offer food. From responses I guess that’s unusual with older teens.

I never made lunch for my kids at that age and it wouldn’t have crossed my my mind to check in with their friends. Obviously if I happened to buy some pastries or something like that I might have offered but otherwise I’d have expected the ‘kids’ to work it out between them.
Its weird she didn’t mention that she was hungrey to her friend

Helicopter parent much OP?

17!?! 😂😂😂 I’m sorry, but I’ve just laughed out loud. I have a 17 yo. Do you expect your adult friends to pack you some sandwiches op if you go out for the day?!?

17?! I’m not feeding my kids friends at that age. Either DCs will offer/make them food, or they’ll buy something. They’re more than capable.

You see for me it's not me having people over all day, it's my teenager having people over and it's up to them to sort their friends out. I'm not the host of my teenagers mates.

Do you make all her food for her at home? I can't see why you think it's normal to expect people to treat a 17 year old as if they were still 7.

I mean she has several autistic traits but we’re in the queue for a diagnosis.

It sounds a bit like a misunderstanding tbh. The friend's parents probably thought the friend would sort herself and DD out for lunch, and in the end she didn't (17yos often aren't great hosts!). I don't subscribe to the view that 17yos are essentially adults and should be left to look after themselves in all circumstances (I would ask a visitor of any age, but definitely shy teens, if they wanted something to eat), but I don't think it's awful of the parents to expect their teens and guests to sort themselves out if hungry.

We do. She wouldn’t cook for herself if left to it.

Agree with PPs that the parents probably expected them to sort their own lunches and can't really be blamed, but even at 17 if my DD had a friend over I'd check if they'd had/ if they wanted anything to eat if it was over a mealtime as part of polite conversation and general hospitality.