AIBU to stop therapy after learning my therapist’s husband is Reform?

[CanyonRider]

I live in a small town. I started having therapy maybe a year ago. I feel it’s been working for me and I like my therapist. However I realised today that she is (very very recently) married to a man who recently stood and won as a reform councillor in our local election. I detest reform. I’m married to an immigrant (EU citizen) and am delighted that my kids are dual nationals and have the option of travelling, working and living in the EU should they desire. I’m also very pro the transition to green energy. I have solar and drive an EV. Finally I cannot stand Farage and the political grift embodied by people like him and Jenrick and am dismayed by the harms caused by Brexit.

My therapist is also an EU national and is here under indefinite leave to remain - as is my wife.
Read a few interviews with her husband today and he spouts the usual anti EU, anti immigration, anti green transition rhetoric you’d expect from Reform. I don’t feel comfortable continuing therapy with someone who’s married to a reform politician, and am very surprised that she is comfortable with his views and by extension those of Farage.

Am I overreacting?

Some posters feel this is an unfortunate thing we just have to have accept.

And what does any of that have to do with the thread?

The killer used the classic tactic of ‘blame the dead man’, you’ll have seen it in countless murder trials. Murderer uses anything they can to claim self defence and get away with murder - stop the press. It would have barely registered but that the police completely missed what had actually happened and handcuffed a dying young man. It’s a horrible story, that poor boy barely out of his childhood, but you absolutely are using it to stoke division against brown people and against the left. Vile.

We certainly don't and I won't be gaslit into treating some communities more favourably than others as Henry Nowak's family have found out.

Oh you really are so used to seeing racism everywhere. You even concentrated on me misspelling his name and saying I use it to score points, as more pertinent than the facts. It's just like the poster who said Reform only are represented by ethnic minorities as a token feature. You are the one keeping the divide going by not ever taking each case on its individual merits. No, instead it's got to be racism. That is why the murderer used that lie and that is also why the police immediately believed him. I wouldn't stay on that high horse if I were you. It's stood on wobbly terrain. Dead man argument my eye.

Are you going to list all crimes against women in the last two years or just the ones that suit your narrative? You’d prefer to see women raped and murdered by white men, is that it? Or you’d prefer to see black and brown women raped and murdered by white men? You’d feel more comfortable then?

There are dangerous men in all communities, we live in a misogynistic culture, it’s a horrible fact of life that no-one seems able to solve. Picking individual cases and thinking ‘stopping the boats’ will somehow fix it is utterly naive.

What an odd post, are you malfunctioning?

You did spell his name wrong, I didn’t need to concentrate on it I simply pointed it out. You chose not to correct yourself.

You were the one that brought up racism.

You are thoroughly ignorant if you think self defence isn’t a well worn tactic in a murder trial. It’s the oldest trick in the book.

There is no merit in focusing on individual cases, they tell us nothing until we look for patterns. Which is how I know that blame the dead man is a common tactic, that this not the first time a defendant has claimed to have been racially abused first, and you think it’s a function of the Left.

I reject the premise of your argument.

We have to deal with British born criminals and have to police our own, but that does not mean that we have to bring more in.

The poster I was responding to, said that she and her daughters live near/work with illegal immigrants and have never felt threatened - making out that there was no threat, when clearly, we can see from the cases listed, that immigrants do indeed pose a threat, especially against women, as many of these men originate from countries where rape is not a crime.

Why do I need to list the crimes committed by indigenous men, when that isn't what we are debating? And why are you referring to indigenous men as white? Isn't that a bit racist?

You're right there are dangerous men born and bred in this country - how does adding even more dangerous men into the mix, help any women, whether they are black, brown or white?

This isn't a black/brown/white problem, it's a CULTURE problem. If you allow swathes of men into our country, and they come from countries where rape is not a crime, and where women have no rights, then it is abundantly obvious to me, that they will treat the women here in the same way that they have done for all of their lives thus far. So you are compounding the problem.

YOU are making it about skin colour, which ironically is racist, even though you are shouting from the rooftops not to be racist. How ironic!

Ask yourself this, would you rather be locked in a hotel room with a black man from the UK, or a white man who believed (because of his culture) that rape was acceptable and that women were a sub class?

Who else's politics and views do you check before dealing with them?

Your doctor?
Dentist?
Hairdresser?
Accountant?
Bank staff?
Retail workers?
Pub landlord?
Restaurant chef?

Bonkers. Utterly bonkers

Yes but the excuse given by some is that her mental health is directly impacted. I guess a Reformist is worthy of the rest of those jobs so long as the consumer doesn't have to engage. Great bit of regression: cut all contact and don't judge others' beliefs and ideas as valid if they don't match your own. Way to go for fostering a cohesive society. As I say, there's only one faction encouraging division.

Labour have historically done a poor job of defending women in the face of the erosion of our rights by GI.
However, I do think there's a tendancy to firstly tar every left wing person with the same brush, and secondly to conflate political fence sitting on a controversial issue with active support.
You're a single issue voter, so to you this issue matters above all else. For many (the majority?) of the electorate its a lot more peripheral.
Most people have not been faced with the reality of the threat from GI. Thanks to the SCJ hopefully now, most never will.
So large swathes of the electorate are less interested in this issue than they are in the economy, the cost of living, immigration, housing, taxes...so politicians focus on thinking about and talking about these things, with the trans debate being something akin to an annoying wasp around the picnic.
What I saw from Andy Burnham looked to me like half heartedly swatting at the wasp so it will leave him alone, without him needing to actually kill it.
Which I can see is disappointing, I can see seems wrong headed if you believe the issue to be more important than any other, but I think to see it as a indication of misogyny, rather than of simply placing a low importance on something you think should have a high one, is a stretch.

As a woman I've been on the sharp end of misogyny. It's not something I've just observed. It's something that's impacted my self esteem, restricted my life and physically and emotionally hurt me.
I'm 57, and throughout my life I've seen some progress. I've seen us move from a society that had topless 16 year olds featured in mainstream tabloids, where in my first job, the men on the shop floor compared my body to the newspaper cuttings on the wall when i took them their tea. I was 16 years old. Ive seen us move to a society where while misogyny remains alive and kicking, at least our daughters have some redress against these day to day normalised abuses, where decent men agree they're wrong, and even the less decent have had to at least moderate themselves.
This is why Kenyon's tweets frighten me far more than Andy Burnham's misstep.
They frighten me with their potential to relegitimise behaviours that make day to day life for women intimidating and demeaning. Sexual harassment. Unwanted attention. Vulgar reduction of women to body parts, back in the mainstream, spouted by parliamentary candidates and minimised by the man who in the worst case scenario, could be our PM.
Kenyon, and Farage with his tolerance of Kenyon, are throw backs to a time I never want to go back to and don't want my daughter to endure.

How disgusting to write off a serious issue of violence, manipulating the Police and brain-washed police as "point scoring".

This attitude is why is why Reform / Restore are doing well., people are sick of it.

The officers who attended the scene handcuffed and restrained Henry, despite the fact he was bleeding from several wounds.

They accepted the story of his assailant immediately and without question, purely because he was not white and henry was.

The assailant knew to bring up racism, because then that trumps everything, even the facts. The Police stop investigating crime and go into "be seen to be tough on racism" mode.

This kind of behaviour from police and other public services needs to stop.

I’m not sure what you think the premise of my argument is.

So your solution is to stop all immigration? I mean that’s fine. But it has other consequences, and for more people.

It didn’t trump everything though, did it? The assailant was arrested and has been convicted of murder, along with his mother.

Reform and Restore are doing well because they speak in simple terms and offer simple solutions. Naturally people like that - who doesn’t? We all love when things are smooth and easy. But unfortunately solving the mess of the country now isn’t easy. Look at the big report on youth unemployment yesterday - it shows how decades of underinvestment and inaction have created a massive crisis. What are Reform or Restore going to do about that? They haven’t even identified it as an issue. Because all they have is pitting their supporters against people who look different to them. That’s not a manifesto, it’s just Mad Max. I get why people vote for them, but it doesn’t make it right, rational or in any way likely to make things better.

You can stop immigration from certain countries where there is a big cultural misalignment. You don't have to allow mass boatloads of unchecked male migrants in.

Starmer: comes down heavy on some riots not others.
Starmer: comes down heavy on the Unite rally, not the Palestinian rallies.
Starmer: two minutes silence in the House for George Floyd, nothing for Henry Nowak.

This Labour Party cares nothing for British values only paper thin platitudes. Labour never have and never will show loyalty first and foremost to British citizens. That's why the rise of Reform and Restore have come about and the left can't deal with the worm turning.

Which countries would you identify as having ‘a big cultural misalignment’?

And what lawful and practicable solution do you have to small boats that no government has thought of? ETA and what would you do about women and children on small boats?

Ah, so you seeing no merit in focusing on individual cases, which explains your mindset. It probably also explains the mindset of the arresting officers.

Afghanistan, Somalia and Sudan are culturally very different to the UK.

Lawful - we make our own law. Pass legislation saying the ECHR cannot overrule UK parliamentary legislation. Deny entry to those entering illegally.

They accepted the story of his assailant immediately and without question, purely because he was not white and henry was.

Do you have any evidence for this claim or is this just your assumption? I can assure you that people from ethnic minorities don’t usually get preferential treatment from the police - far from it, in fact.

Well they did in that case. Note, individual case. Except it's not is it. The UK police, governed by their left wing graduate hierarchy, cascaded down by left wing public servants decide that white lives are worth less. Boris Johnson did nothing to address this in power but I guess he had that awkward little thing called Covid to deal with. BLM protesting during Covid is one of the biggest entitled movements for somebody that wasn't even a British citizen. You can try and brush this away as much as you like. We are where we are because of appeasement. Legitimate racism remains a serious issue. Teaching kids in schools that white people cannot be victims of racism is widening a divide that some want to keep in tact. The brainwashing is being combated. All of this digresses from the OP who wants to take her consumerism to selective outlets.

They are. So are China, Ukraine and Myanmar, and many many more.

We do make our own laws. The Rwanda plan, for example, was ruled unlawful because it wasn’t compliant with domestic law, as well as international law.

The ECHR doesn’t and cannot overrule domestic law. The UK can choose to disregard it, but interpretations and political considerations are usually taken into account.

Legally, there is no such thing as ‘entering illegally’ if a person makes an asylum claim on arrival. So if your plan is to deny entry to anyone claiming asylum, what would you do with them?

Interesting choice of other service providers - doctor is the only one where possibly their political views could have an effect on the advice they give you.

Therapist isn’t like hairdresser, the OP needs to trust the judgement of what the therapist says- how could you trust the judgement of someone who chooses to marry a reform supporter just as they are standing for election? Nope, this isn’t being a bit more one side or the other, reform supporter when the OPs partner is an immigrant - how could you open up and share details of your own life with them ?

I do listen to tales about my hairdressers latest relationship drama and think “you are a walking disaster zone but cut my hair beautifully.” But then it doesn’t matter I wouldn’t take advice from her about anything other than how to keep my hair in good condition.

Yes because doctors are going to poison you if you vote Reform.

Don't vote Reform that should say.