AIBU to stop therapy after learning my therapist’s husband is Reform?

[CanyonRider]

I live in a small town. I started having therapy maybe a year ago. I feel it’s been working for me and I like my therapist. However I realised today that she is (very very recently) married to a man who recently stood and won as a reform councillor in our local election. I detest reform. I’m married to an immigrant (EU citizen) and am delighted that my kids are dual nationals and have the option of travelling, working and living in the EU should they desire. I’m also very pro the transition to green energy. I have solar and drive an EV. Finally I cannot stand Farage and the political grift embodied by people like him and Jenrick and am dismayed by the harms caused by Brexit.

My therapist is also an EU national and is here under indefinite leave to remain - as is my wife.
Read a few interviews with her husband today and he spouts the usual anti EU, anti immigration, anti green transition rhetoric you’d expect from Reform. I don’t feel comfortable continuing therapy with someone who’s married to a reform politician, and am very surprised that she is comfortable with his views and by extension those of Farage.

Am I overreacting?

lol. Yes. Crackers

Stark, staring, bonkers.

YABU. Would you request another cashier at a shop if their partner voted Reform?

You can stop seeing a therapist for any reason. It doesn't matter how unreasonable it is to other people. It's an intimate relationship and you have to have total confidence and trust in them. Now of course she is a professional and I am sure her husband's politics don't bring any bearing to her professional practice. But again it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks, you should do whatever makes you comfortable

This has to be the ultimate Mumsnet pearl clutch

clearly you don’t believe women are capable of having their own opinions

Well you can finish this for any reason. Just find a new therapist.

Therapy requires you to be vulnerable, and to trust (unlike buying something in a shop as a pp mentioned) My ability to trust a therapist would be affected by someone who stood with Reform. It's a racist party, no matter what way you look at it.

I don’t blame you.

To be fair, my husband is a reform
supporter and (apart from this) is the kindest most emotionally intelligent man. I have a job where clients might not like that, but it makes no difference to how I do my job and even how my husband reacts to my clients. They are none the wiser. Genuinely I wouldn’t sack your therapist over this

Lol

They're all out today on Mumsnet.

People in marriages can have their own opinions but this goes far beyond just having some political ideas. The guy ran in an election, at that point the wife is obviously in full support of her husband because that's a huge public commitment to the bullshit.

Trust and feeling comfortable is really important in any therapeutic relationship. If you no longer feel comfortable with her, or if the trust has gone, then it would be perfectly reasonable to stop seeing her. If that's what you want to do.

It would be a deal breaker for me, as I would be questioning the basic morals of someone who had recently chosen to marry a Reform councillor. I wouldn't want my hard-earned money going to support his dodgy household.

I might think about it differently if she had been married for years, as women do sometimes get trapped in relationships with shit men. But it seems that she has knowingly gone into this with eyes wide open, so I guess she has no issue with his obnoxious views.

Uanbu to question her judgment and/or values as being very different to yours and preferring a therapist you are more in line with.

If you don't want to spend your money there you are perfectly entitled to take your money elsewhere.

Yes, silly little fluffy headed women simply must agree with their husband's politics.

No minds of our own at all.

How odd. Will you be checking the voting intentions if the families if you doctor, dentist and hairdresser too?

Retired therapist here. I've also had therapy myself with many different therapists. I'd feel exactly as you do. I'd be shocked and dismayed and talk it through with her for a couple of sessions, but the trust would be very rocky with someone who married an active Reform party member.

I think your reason for changing therapist is totally valid. I would also not be keen to use a therapist in these circumstances.

You've known, and liked this lady for a year. She is good for you, but you plan to cut the relationship because you dislike her husband's politics.😳

I think you are very intolerant and you'll end up with very few friends
My niece married a Trump supporter. Two of my sisters have husbands who bore me senseless, one of my work colleagues holds strong pro-trans (anti-feminist) views.

These are people I love, or at least like. I am capable of separating their many good points from their one opinion/husband that I dislike.

They are entitled.to those choices/opinions. As long as they don't try to inflict those views on you, there should be no problem. Or do you see yourself as the thought police?

It isn't about her having different opinions from her husband, it's about her willingness to tolerate his immoral behaviour. That says a huge amount about her own values.

What's the point of having a therapist that you can't trust?

I wouldn’t want therapy from someone that would partner with a racist.

Not at all. The therapist can of course choose who she votes for. I personally would not want a therapist who would be married to a reform voter.
Ditch the therapist. This association shows you her true character and level and of integrity .

Regardless of whether they agree with them or not, if your husband/wife is an elected councillor that does come with support of the household - practically, emotionally, financially, it wouldn't be feasible to do it otherwise.
Also realistically the wife at least tolerates it. I wouldn't want to finance someone who was happy to, at best, overlook the hate that reform spread.

Would you tolerate a Nazi in your social circle because they had other pleasant qualities? What about a murderer, a pedophile or a child abuser? If not- why?

I didn’t check. I was reading an article in the local paper where he mentioned his wife’s name, the fact that they were very recently married and one other thing. That allowed me to join the dots. Also voting intention is not the same as marrying a politician.