AIBU to stop therapy after learning my therapist’s husband is Reform?

[CanyonRider]

I live in a small town. I started having therapy maybe a year ago. I feel it’s been working for me and I like my therapist. However I realised today that she is (very very recently) married to a man who recently stood and won as a reform councillor in our local election. I detest reform. I’m married to an immigrant (EU citizen) and am delighted that my kids are dual nationals and have the option of travelling, working and living in the EU should they desire. I’m also very pro the transition to green energy. I have solar and drive an EV. Finally I cannot stand Farage and the political grift embodied by people like him and Jenrick and am dismayed by the harms caused by Brexit.

My therapist is also an EU national and is here under indefinite leave to remain - as is my wife.
Read a few interviews with her husband today and he spouts the usual anti EU, anti immigration, anti green transition rhetoric you’d expect from Reform. I don’t feel comfortable continuing therapy with someone who’s married to a reform politician, and am very surprised that she is comfortable with his views and by extension those of Farage.

Am I overreacting?

I would recommend a lot more therapy

Dunno, I mean what's the point in the thread even? 🤷‍♂️

Whatever the OP chooses to spend their money on is nothing to do with us.

Or they may just be bored on a bank holiday of course.

No of course not, but those are vile crimes.

As far as we are aware the therapist's husband has committed no crime. Being a member of Reform does not make someone a murderer or abuser.

This seems to be part of a growing intolerance on all sides which just makes things worse. Views become more entrenched, people stop talking to each other.

Yeah I mean she must be too. Or if she's not she's not strongly 'not' enough as I'd consider divorcing someone if they were.

Why on earth would you assume your therapist supports the same political party as her husband?

quite apart from anything else

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

“Am I overreacting?”

Yes.

Are you emotionally intimate with your shop cashiers? That must be uncomfortable for them.

There's a remarkably high proportion of reform councillors who have quit after their behaviour has been exposed once elected though, so statistically speaking...
Being tolerant isn't something done in an ethical vacuum, there's no requirement to tolerate individuals who promote racism. Racism is pretty vile, I hope you'd agree.

@CanyonRider 💯 percent avoid.
Birds of a feather and all that.
You feel uneasy, don't blame you.
You are paying for the service, and YOU shouldn't have to feel like this.

Avoid avoid avoid.

Those two things are mutually exclusive.

Well the role of a cashier in your life is rather different to that of a therapist, don’t you think? The ‘therapeutic relationship’ is core to the therapy being effective, and the person needs to feel psychologically safe. Trust can be broken for all sorts of reasons, rational or not. It can be worked through of course, but it is a totally different dynamic to that with the person who scans your bread and baked beans.

Why would anyone marry someone with those views.

Quite apart from anything else...

Yep how can you receive advice from anyone as deranged as to marry a Reform voter.

Perhaps it's something to discuss... in therapy..

There are some things which shouldn't be tolerated imo. Being an active member of Reform is morally reprehensible from my perspective, and not something that I can just write off as a simple difference of opinion. You are, of course, entitled to hold a different view, but for me, this crosses a line.

MN is very pro Reform so you won’t get a sensible answer here

Yes, and it's something you might bring to therapy.

A therapist role is to support you and be non judgemental and independent. So if you have just found out something so fundamental it sounds like this person is good at what they do and it doesn’t impact on your support. So why change?

@fatandfrumpy20im not sure I agree with you there. Probably because I know him personally but I don’t know a kinder more intelligent man. Definitely don’t agree with his politics but he doesn’t stop helping others and has a very profound way of looking at the world. I defo see how you might think this way though but the world isn’t black and white

There are nearly seventeen thousand councillors in England.

data from here.

https://lgiu.org/resources/local-government-facts-and-figures/local-government-facts-and-figures-england/

at various points in my marriage my then husband and I stood for election to local councils for different parties.

you really really shouldn’t assume she shares his politics.

in addition, being on a local council is in all honesty a badly paid job that if you do it properly takes a lot of time.

I’ve sat on small councils (live rurally and most villages have a parish council just for the village) and honestly it’s a lot of work.

Reform is a haven for people who have committed crimes. Have a look at their newly elected batch of councillors ( those that are left) - are they honest, genuine, law abiding, well intentioned people?
As a party they consistently lie, promote nonsense politics, and fuel hate and division .I have no issue with any other political party but this is not about political differences. This is about a moral line in the sand.

Lol! What had her husbands political leanings got to do with your therapy?!

You can’t call someone deeply kind and emotionally intelligent while they support politics built on division and scapegoating. Sooner or later, what you vote for says more about your character than your fake front.

This sums it up. How can you ever value her guidance!