I stepped away from this thread a few days ago because l found many of the comments difficult - I’ve recently lost my mum to vascular dementia.
It popped up again for some reason this morning and I’ve been reading the subsequent comments. There are a few things which stand out. The main one seems to be a complete lack of knowledge surrounding the law protecting the vulnerable.
Firstly, the home have a duty to report the incident to the police. Care homes have a duty of care to protect both their residents and visitors - some on the thread have suggested there is no duty of care to visitors, which is not true. Reporting ensures that the incident is documented, and that the care home reviews the resident's care plan to prevent future incidents.
Secondly, the law provides protection for vulnerable adults and does not hold anyone responsible for their actions if they have lost capacity. So the inappropriate touching and grabbing OP describes would not be treated as would an assault by a person who has capacity - because there is no intent. It’s an action brought about by illness (and in many cases associated medication).
The law does, however, hold those with capacity responsible for their actions in ‘retaliation’. OP has described the fact that she has smacked away the hands of these residents on four separate occasions, and that she intends to continue. Smacking, slapping, swatting - whatever term posters want to use to diminish the impact - is inappropriate and in the eyes of the law can be assault in itself because here there is intent. The correct response is remove the hand, try to remove yourself from the situation and to call for help.
Regarding ‘lock these people away’. That’s also against the law. It’s deprivation of liberty. To even put cot sides on the bed of a dementia patient for their own protection, or to lock a door to prevent them wandering you need a court of protection deprivation of liberty order. You can’t simply lock someone in their room. If these incidents are as frequent and as serious as OP describes then under the social care act, the home have a duty to seek assessment as to whether transfer to a more secure facility is appropriate for the safety of others and the safeguarding of the resident themselves.
Can I also point out to all those who think a swat or a swipe is ‘harmless’ that in many forms of dementia - especially when advanced - pain and fear responses are heightened, and what to you might be a light tap, can cause real pain to a dementia sufferer. The district nurses handling my own mum during home care were very careful when moving her and used specialist equipment to minimise the pain everyday touch could cause. It’s also pointless because you can swat away ad nauseam and it won’t make any difference - there is no capacity to learn. All that will happen is that the person will perceive that they have been punished and they will have no idea why.
The degree to which dementia is misunderstood here is saddening. There seems to be a desire to apportion blame simply because these are men - so the assumption is that they ‘know what they’re doing’ or must have been a ‘perv’ in earlier life seems to be the prevailing opinion. That grown, intelligent women can perpetrate this kind of ignorance is quite shocking. Sexual disinhibition is a common factor in dementia and can be very prevalent in certain types of the disease - applying equally to women and manifesting in various ways. It absolutely does not come from a place of intent. It’s the result of a devastating disease destroying various areas of the brain, responsible for different functions and behaviours. This is a fact that seems to have been lost throughout this thread and anyone having the temerity to suggest it has been shouted down.
This is one of the worst threads I’ve seen on MN, and I’m actually surprised it’s still standing given the ableist content. I have no idea why OP posted, because she doesn’t seem to want to take any responsibility for her own actions - citing it as a ‘reflex’ trauma response because of PTSD, and demanding mitigation, while at the same time being incapable of understanding or tolerant of other similar and infinitely more severe vulnerabilities. She seems to be intent on continuing to bat her way through the residents, regardless of the consequences. Rarely have I seen such lack of self awareness, entitlement and lack of regard for others, including rude and insulting responses to anyone who dares question her actions.
I agree with a pp who says that this thread is a perfect example as to why care work should not be seen as unskilled and suitable for anyone to take up. There are some commenters here who shouldn’t be within a mile of a vulnerable person, and I sincerely hope that they or their loved ones never have to suffer the indignities and the ignorant attitudes that come with a dementia diagnosis. Thankfully this thread is nearly over, so I’ll leave you all to continue your bunfight.