Another holiday ruined - damaged the hire car - think I’m covered but DP being awful!

[Whyismycatanasshat]

Long story short, we’re on holiday with a hire car and on the way to return it I’ve quite deeply scraped both the alloys down one side, having pulled over very sharply and in to a curb whilst taking evasive action. Genuinely couldn’t avoid doing it, it was that or be crashed into. DP acknowledges that bit.

DP is absolutely furious with me, adamant we’re going to get a HUGE bill and I know he won’t let this one go for the rest of our break - he started the moment we left the drop off; it was after hours drop off so no one to discuss it with.

Given I purchased the zero excess cover and crash damage waiver and the zero excess says

“Zero Excess (ZE) is an optional coverage available to the renter. The purchase of ZE reduces the customers liability to 0 Euro in cases of:

• Damage to the vehicle's bodywork
• Damage to the tyres, rims or windscreen of the hire vehicle
• Theft or attempted theft of the rented vehicle”

I believe I’m right to tell him to shut the hell up, especially given he won’t drive a car abroad and he’s a professional haulier!

Sometimes see this families on holidays where the parents are arguing / furious with each other and it’s very clear and think… looks unhappy for everyone in the family

@Whyismycatanasshat wont come back because doesn’t want to accept the reality that this will all be really shitty of her kids. I reckon they’ll be another thread next year about another holiday where he’s kicked off.

and then shortly later another thread about how eldest dc refusing to go on holiday with the family anymore

@Liznug Whyismycatanasshat was busy doing stuff with her children thank you very much.
She also won’t be posting next year as she will be away without DP. That has been agreed and will be stuck to.
But I’m delighted you know me well enough from Mumsnet to know better than me.

For those strongly suggesting it’s time to end the relationship, I suspect I won’t be able
to convince you that genuinely for 51 weeks of the year everything is good, so I won’t be ending the relationship over this.
I am more than happy to holiday with the DC on my own and things be good 52 weeks of the year.

For those who suggested DP gets help, he has been there before to help him process a catastrophic event so he isn’t adverse to it. I have mentioned it in passing to explore his feelings of “high alert” but will raise it again when we’re home I think.

So the marriage will limp on but at least holidays will be happy? No way someone like this isn’t a twat at home too.

and I only wrote that because it literally always gets an op back in a nano second!

@Liznug well it took me over an hour rather than your nano second. And you’re not the first to “@“ my username given the content of my inbox so I’m loathe to agree that your summoning technique is effective.

But yeh, he must be a twat at home.
And the DC must suffer tremendously.
Couldn’t possibly be triggered by something - given he describes himself as “on high alert for a duration of a holiday.”
Hohum.

Next time don’t include him!

@happysinglemama That’s what we’ve now agreed.
I suspect it’s a relief all round!

Yes I thought so. Twat at home
but at least now you and kids will get a break from him on holiday

If my DH was horrible to me only on holidays then frankly I’d go without him. However it’s unlikely it’s a one off thing - perhaps you should reconsider what DH brings to the relationship?

I have read Ops posts but not full thread.
I would suggest you compromise by you taking the children away by yourself, and then having another holiday where you stay at home and go for child friendly days out with DH.
His behaviour sounds as though it is caused by anxiety.