MIL let DD aged 5 get sunburned but DH thinks we should just be grateful she had her and gave her a nice time.

[Sophiehoney]

I AM grateful MIL had her and she had a nice time.

HOWEVER, she's been at MIL's all day, playing in the paddling pool with her cousins and she's come home with sunburn all over her shoulders, neck, top of her legs, and all down her back and is in pain.

I put suncream on her before she went there, and when we dropped her off, I told MIL there was a bottle in her bag and MIL said don't worry, I've got loads here.

But she obviously hasn't topped it back up and DD is burnt.

All I want to do is WhatsApp her a picture and say thank you so much, she had a great time but a reminder that she must wear suncream when she's out in the sun and in a swimming costume.

DH says no, it will just make her feel bad and make us seem ungrateful and what's done is done now, we'll make sure we remind her more frequently next time.

I think a picture now will have more of an effect and she will remember next time because she obviously didn't listen to my reminder this time.

@tiramisugelato The risk isn't actually low at all.

Half of the UK population gets sun burned each year. Every time there's a heat wave, every twat in the country goes outside and deliberately lies underneath the sun. I have no idea why they do it, but they do. The point is that sun burn is common, and yet, few people get skin cancer. So a single instance of sun burn would not be cause for concern.

DD is far more likely to experience illness later in life as a result of exposure to air pollution, because every twat in the UK buys an excessively large car and deliberately leaves their engine running in supermarket car parks. Why is that not an issue?

There's a reason so many people in their 50's are having skin cancers removed.

Numbers are still low overall, and those people in their 50s would have been sun burned many times during their lives.

I grew up in the nineties and my parents were very sun aware. I always wore Factor 50 and never got burned.

That's unusual. Back then, there was not nearly the same awareness about sun burn as today.

I'm not sure why the fact that some people use sunbeds is relevant, either?

That's not a question.

You don't understand the connection between UV from a sun bed and UV from the sun? Strange.

Was MIL on her own? How many kids was MIL looking after and what are the others ages?
We are quite active and my husband is very hands on but quite frankly we would find it quite difficult to look after 3 young kids all day around water. We would have to apply suncream and check the kids didn’t slip/drown. Young children often don’t like suncream being put on and you have to spend ages persuading them. One of us would have to leave for a while to get lunch.
We regularly look after 2 but 3 is too much unless they are inside playing with toys.
OP, you really cannot let your kid get sunburnt. Get one of those cover up UV resistant swimsuits and a big hat if you intend to let your MIL look after your child again in the sun.

Don't send a photo and message. If there's a next time just a verbal reminder with the fact she was burnt this time

How grateful should you be that she just put your kid at risk for skin cancer? That's stupid. Your MIL fucked up big time, neglected to do a basic task, and your daughter is hurt.

She needs to be told your daughter is badly sunburned because she didn't do something as basic as reapply sunscreen to a young kid out in the sun and water all day.

Your husband is afraid to hurt his mother's feelings but she physically hurt your daughter through neglect. It can't happen again.

This could have happened so quickly op and she could have been lathered up. I was out for about 30 mins and I started to burn, and a child’s skin is very sensitive. There is every chance she was re applying the sun cream

she should have been in a rash vest.

Wow.

You need to keep an eye on her.

This could be serious and if there is any sign of blisters you need to go to A&E.

DH says no, it will just make her feel bad and make us seem ungrateful and what's done is done now

He sounds awful, worse than MIL.

I think your H needs to talk to his mum.

If your daughter is really badly burned, this is serious.

We can't see her so it could be mild redness or it could be deeper burns.

Your MIL is incredibly stupid. The temp is around 28-30C today and no way should a child of 5 be exposed to that for any time at all.

That's absolutely awful. Sun burn is cumulative and your MIL has really caused a harm
I'd speak to her...take the photos in case she reacts as if it's nothing. It isn’t

I grew up in the nineties and my parents were very sun aware. I always wore Factor 50 and never got burned.
That's unusual. Back then, there was not nearly the same awareness about sun burn as today.

I was born in '76 my mother was borderline obsessive about sumscreen

Read OPs posts. Swimming / being in water was not the plan

Definitely put children in rash vests for this type of play - and if it’s no planned then you definitely either have to consistently be reapplying sunscreen or you don’t do that type of play. Sunburn is not okay in this day and age. However - don’t trash your relationship with your mother in law over this, it’s all about how you approach it.

There was plenty of information about the dangers of not wearing sunscreen in the 90s there was a song about it fgs.

Op yoire going to habe to quantify how bad this is, as people are getting more and more hysterical , now she’s to go to a&e, she won’t be able to sleep, she will be very sickly and she will get hear stroke. It’s because you said she’s in pain.

howver from your husbands reaction I’m hazarding a guess it’s not that bad, and that’s why he doesn’t want to guilt trip his mother.

I’m fully aware of that, it doesn’t change it. Calm down. Back away from the thread if you find yourself becoming aggressive

Long-Term Consequences

Skin Cancer Risk: One blistering sunburn in childhood can nearly double a person's lifetime risk of developing melanoma.

Multiple childhood sunburns further elevate this risk.

Mole Development: Early UV exposure is strongly linked to an increased number of moles and atypical mole changes, which are direct risk factors for melanoma.

Premature Aging: UV damage breaks down collagen early and reduces skin elasticity, leading to premature wrinkles, fine lines, and sunspots in later life.

Suppressed Immunity: Because a child’s immune system is still developing, fighting off persistent UV exposure can weaken it, making them generally more susceptible to illnesses.

Because children have thinner skin and less melanin than adults, they burn easily

@TomatoSandwiches There was plenty of information about the dangers of not wearing sunscreen in the 90s there was a song about it fgs.

Again, not to the same extent as today.

I agree, sounds like his first loyalty is to mummy.

Please stop using words like 'hysterical' for suggesting that she could blister and develop heatstroke.

It happens.

And it can be serious.

her husband sounds wet and his reaction doesn't have to align with how bad the sunburn is- he's not happy to have words with his mum.

You are 100% correct.

I was alway always covered in sunscreen as a child in the 1990’s only ever got burnt once a tiny bit on my nose as an older child.

This is ridiculous. My kids were born before the 1990s and there was masses of education about using suncream.

Ignore mummies little soldier and read her the riot act.

Don't send the message. Its so passive aggressive. It clearly wasn't her intention for your child to get burnt she doesnt deserve to be punished. If you do it you will ruin your relationship with her and also with your partner who's asked you not to because, presumably, he doesn't want you to humiliate his mother.