To not make my 4yo wear clothes at home?

[Schnapps00]

4.5yo has always been a bit 'sensory', but for some reason it's really ramped up in the last couple of months and it's got to the point where we can't get her dressed in the morning if it's the weekend/for an outing. Currently travels naked in the car to preschool, wrap her in a towel and her teachers get her dressed inside the door (just T-shirt/shorts) 🙈 She seems to manage fine with them on all day, then will generally keep them on in the evening after nursery (we recently had the same T-shirt on 3 days straight 😬)

It's prolonged screaming/meltdown if we try at home, I've tried many times to just whip on a pair of shorts and pick her up/walk off, but it's thrashing/screaming/kicking/biting/scratching and pulling them down as soon as she's able to, lots of lots of dysregulation, up to 1.5hr bouts for other reasons (if she gets the clothes off she's generally ok again quickly) - general limits or things not going her way will also set her off.

Extends to other areas too, just started refusing nighttime pullup as well (luckily she seems to be mostly night training herself in the process there..!)

I'm not sure if we're setting her up for failure by 'letting' her go naked at home? It's got to the point where she sometimes wants to go out, but just can't deal with any clothes on, which is the part that concerns me/makes me sad.
Possibly related to impending school start, her big sis already goes to it, so she's very aware of change soon.. Extra needs or just exerting control where she can?

It's getting exhausting and I'm wondering where all this ends up..Had an initial chat with HV but no magic wands waved.

Thanks so much for any thoughts!!

You seem to really want this to be neurosiversity. Lots of talk about sensory issues and dysregulation.
Considering she spends all day in her clothes and only refuses to put them on with you, suggests this could be behaviour. Pp. Have suggested you deal with it like you would other behaviour and i agree with them. Hitting and kicking you is unacceptable. Not doing as you are told is unacceptable. This needs to be dealt with not or will continue, when she doesn't want to do something she knows exactly how to get out of it. At 4 it may not be so much of a problem, but at 6, 8 and 10 it definitely will. Clothes are not an option, you are setting her up for failure here, even ND children have to wear clothes.

https://bedslutonchildrenshealth.nhs.uk/services/bedfordshire-and-luton-childrens-occupational-therapy-service/helping-your-child-with-sensitivities/strategies-for-dressing-sensitive-children/ Don’t know if there are some additional tips but cotton and conditioner and seam free clothing may help if not already mentioned.

What downside would there be in talking to the GP about assessment? I mean, it's not going to make her neurdiverse if she isn't 😉

It's very lovely to hear what these kinds of particularities can evolve into, thanks for sharing :)

Where do I say I 'want it to be ND?!' Yes I've mentioned dysregulation a lot, because she has been really, really dysregulated the last couple of months - 1.5hr long meltdowns in the middle of the night for example. Don't expect you to have read the whole thread, but it's helped me see that it's likely related more to difficulty with transitions hinged on a mild sensitivity. She knows very well that hitting/kicking are unacceptable, I block it wherever possible, and she also knows clothes are required, certainly outside the house, hence having to cancel/abort several activities that she really wanted to do but just couldn't manage to keep clothes on for.
If you think there's some magic wand that I'm missing, then please do share..

No, none at all, HV has already requested referral, just could take 9m+ at the moment here apparently. May look to pursue privately if it continues through summer 🙈

Unpopular opinion here: Not all issues with children are down to neurodiversity. Some are just products of poor parenting, lack of boundaries and/or routines.

You allow your 4 year old to hit and kick you. With your reaction to be just to block it... When they are 10 years old do you think this will be enough? You need to teach her right from wrong.

Excellent - im glad you have the referral in place! I would ignore the previous poster who says you are setting her up for failure by not cming down hard on this - you are doing a fab job!

My four year is likely autistic (already been nearly a year on a waiting list) and he always strips off. Nappy and all at home. At nursery he isn't that bad. I did expect him to try stripping but he hasn't. Loose school dresses are a good idea. I wouldn't hope to be seen quickly unless you pay private. Many of us are on waiting lists.