Partner won't pay back what he spent

[Covermeinrainsrops]

Partner got a bonus in work this week (8k) he had known about it for a few months and in the meantime he used my credit card to buy some things and told me he'd pay it off in full when he got his bonus. He has bad credit so doesn't have his own cc.

anyway the bonus has came and he won't pay back what he spent he has said he didnt use it all he bloody did and it's clear to see on the transactions he did. We got into a massive argument about this tonight and he's refusing to send me the money to pay it off.

He has a second job so brings in more money than me and when I complain about money being tight he tells me I should get a second job but how can I we have three kids who I am primary carer for he works shifts then on off days he will do this second job. I pay for 80% of the kids things he doesn't realise how fast kids grown out of shoes coats etc.
i hate asking him to pay towards anything as it turns into an argument so I will just pay ot myself. But this credit card bill has now added on at least £100 to my already tight budget to try and get it paid off quickly. I can't even go up to bed right now I am so hurt he has put me in this position.

Print off the bill. Highlights his spend and put next to them what they are so curry’s TV or whatever

hand it to him and tell him he owes you the money

dont ever let him use your cards again

He’s a disrespectful twat

I just cannot get over how mean he is. We have a holiday next month and he won't even give a bit extra even though he got his bonus he will just spend it all on himself

He’s got such a bad record of paying people back, the credit card companies won’t give him a credit card. Now you know why, as he’s done the same to you.

If someone can’t get credit themselves, don’t be the person who extends credit to them. Trust the banks know what they’re doing when they say no.

Whose are the 3 kids?

Two together eldest is mine

Spot on. What an excellent point.

He’s got you right where he wants you, OP, by making you too uncomfortable to ask him for money (even when it’s yours).

I just can’t imagine being so stingy. I don’t have heaps of money to throw around but my main restriction is not wanting to spoil my kids. When it comes to family and friends we just share, and if you borrow something you insist on paying it back! Those close to us deserve even MORE respect than what we’d give to strangers, not less.

Whatever he bought, return it or sell it.

He sat beside me tonight calculating it all up the said I don't see how I owe
sll this. I was so angry.

neither of us are good with money but I pay all my bills on time and have been able to move credit
card debt onto a new card with 0% interest after we both got a bit too carried away with my previous credit card (which he didn't pay anything towards either). So this has knocked me as I have got myself in a good position again and now I have this extra debit put on me to pay off.

Bin him off OP.

You are stronger than you think and high time you got rid of this leech.

Your future self will thank you and your kids too.

So he's leeching off you and the children. He's not going to change, the question is are you?

Sorry but why are you with this utter loser? He sounds like the biggest ick ever.

Surely this is financial abuse! Do you have any agreement in writing OP even texts saying he'll give you the money back? I'm so sorry you're going through this. I would try every avenue you can to get your money back then consider leaving the relationship. What a twat!

I have to agree.

Obviously I know it’s not as simple as that and I’m sure he has his good points but from what you’ve said:

either he doesn’t trust you and thinks you’re trying to get him to pay for things he didn’t buy, or;

he is deliberately lying because he doesn’t want to pay you back for the things he bought, so instead is picking a fight with you and accusing you of cheating him.

I suppose there’s also the chance that he is genuinely getting confused due to some sort of brain issue, which would be tragic but is fortunately extremely unlikely. Especially given his credit rating.

Stinginess is about the least sexy characteristic I can think of in a partner, tbh.

No nothing in texts that would prove it. Then as we were arguing he said he wasn't paying it back he said to me 'act like a c and you'll be treated like a c'

I knew when the money came through he was gonna do this he was being cagey about it all. He hates sharing anything he's just very odd about it what's his is his yet what's mine is everyone s

C being a Cnut

Ah so he now has a “reason” to not pay his debts, it’s all your fault OP and he gets to play the wounded majesty!

Ugh.

ITs fine to say CUNT on MN

I would start with Whatsapping the screen shots of his spends, and saying "are you really not paying me back for this?" and seeing what he says.

Please answer the question: why are you with him?

Tell him to leave and separate.

Not to pay you back is theft. But you are also clearly the victim of financial abuse if you are expected to pay more than half of everything despite earning less. This absolutely is a crime, he’s deliberately depriving you and the children. Don’t tolerate it. Go to the Police. You need to get rid of him. He’s a leech.

Fucking hell, dump this loser.

Small claims court OP.

If he won’t pay you back then they’re your items to do what you will with. You paid for them so you own them. Sell them to recoup at least some of the money and get rid of him so it can’t happen again!

This is where the saying 'A fool and his money are soon parted' comes from. You won't get that money back. Learn from it and don't ever let anyone take on debt in your name again.

💯