Partner won't pay back what he spent

[Covermeinrainsrops]

Partner got a bonus in work this week (8k) he had known about it for a few months and in the meantime he used my credit card to buy some things and told me he'd pay it off in full when he got his bonus. He has bad credit so doesn't have his own cc.

anyway the bonus has came and he won't pay back what he spent he has said he didnt use it all he bloody did and it's clear to see on the transactions he did. We got into a massive argument about this tonight and he's refusing to send me the money to pay it off.

He has a second job so brings in more money than me and when I complain about money being tight he tells me I should get a second job but how can I we have three kids who I am primary carer for he works shifts then on off days he will do this second job. I pay for 80% of the kids things he doesn't realise how fast kids grown out of shoes coats etc.
i hate asking him to pay towards anything as it turns into an argument so I will just pay ot myself. But this credit card bill has now added on at least £100 to my already tight budget to try and get it paid off quickly. I can't even go up to bed right now I am so hurt he has put me in this position.

Sorry, OP, but he's an utter piece of shit: spunking your money on his hobby and then failing to pay you back is fucking disgraceful, especially when he's got a bonus of £8k. He's also being abusive in expecting you to bear the entire cost of things like the kids' clothes: that should be a shared expense at the very least. I hope he at least pays his share of bills, food shopping etc.

I'm quite surprised that he's even got a tenancy in his name when his credit rating's so fucked, tbh. Landlords often use credit checking agencies before accepting tenants, and and letting agencies definitely do.

I used to be shit with money and got seriously in debt several times, but I could always tell you what I'd spent the money on. The fact that he was using credit in your name and then tried to claim that it wasn't his spending is really taking the piss: of course he fucking knew.

If the hobby spending was on equipment, I'd suggest sticking it all on Ebay in an attempt to recoup some of the debt. And if you haven't done it already, cancel his credit card so that he can't rack up any more debt.

Agree with others that women's aid might be helpful, but also try a general advice agency like CAB and ask to speak to a debt adviser. Because you are a victim of financial abuse and possibly coercive control, there might be options for your specific circumstances that take into account that this isn't entirely your fault. They will have come across similar situations before.

I'd say leave the bastard, but it might be difficult for you to find somewhere to rent with that level of indebtedness.