Partner won't pay back what he spent

[Covermeinrainsrops]

Partner got a bonus in work this week (8k) he had known about it for a few months and in the meantime he used my credit card to buy some things and told me he'd pay it off in full when he got his bonus. He has bad credit so doesn't have his own cc.

anyway the bonus has came and he won't pay back what he spent he has said he didnt use it all he bloody did and it's clear to see on the transactions he did. We got into a massive argument about this tonight and he's refusing to send me the money to pay it off.

He has a second job so brings in more money than me and when I complain about money being tight he tells me I should get a second job but how can I we have three kids who I am primary carer for he works shifts then on off days he will do this second job. I pay for 80% of the kids things he doesn't realise how fast kids grown out of shoes coats etc.
i hate asking him to pay towards anything as it turns into an argument so I will just pay ot myself. But this credit card bill has now added on at least £100 to my already tight budget to try and get it paid off quickly. I can't even go up to bed right now I am so hurt he has put me in this position.

Blimey lady. He’s fucked you over and you’ve let him. I’m not blaming you, he’s shown you who he is but you didn’t believe him and your “love” for him allowed you to believe he could be better. Forget what he’s doing to you, but open your eyes for the sake of your kids. Please. It’s them who will suffer and they deserve better as do you.

That's not true... an oral agreement is valid. She just has to prove on a balance of probabilities that he told her he would repay her. She has the card statement showing the purchases. I think most district judges would believe her and would take a very dim view of him.

Did he buy anything with your money that you could sell?

You've been had over by him. Which means your relationship is over. You can accept it now or continue to allow him to abuse you financially and verbally.

You deserve better.
Start making plans for your new life without him.
It'll feel awful pulling the plaster off but it'll feel better after that very quickly.
Good luck.

Why are you with this digusting piece of human excretment?
There is a reason he has shit credit and you let him use yours so he can destroy it too?

After he ran up your cards once, that should have been it but hindsight is 20/20.

Take him to court to get the money and kick him to the curb. Take whatever he bought with YOUR card and sell it for whatever you can.

Why do people put up with such poor treatment from people they claim they love and vice versa?

Because they’re in a relationship, it wouldn’t be dealt with Co court, do you not think every woman up and down the country that’s been shafted Hasn’t thought of this already.
Mine sold £60,000 worth of cars that were in my name. There was nothing I could do. Nobody was interested.

I would find someone else to go on the holiday with and leave the abusive POS at home or better yet, out on the street.

Who is paying for the home? Mortgage or rent? Who is on the deed/title/rental agreement?

You really need to get your affairs in order unless you enjoy the treatment he gives you and the drain he is on your life and credit rating.

Not true.

An oral agreement can still be an agreement.

Additionally, it could be argued this was fraud by misrepresentation. He represented to her that he intended to pay her back, knowing full well that he wouldn’t.

He would no longer be my partner. Rinsing your credit card once is unfortunate. But you let him do it again. Put a stop to this.

Leave him. He’s not a nice person.

There was a contract. The fact that it was oral does not prevent it from being a contract. Obviously it would be more difficult to prove, but that does not change the fact that it was a contract.

I voted that you are unreasonable - not for wanting this debt paid off, but because youre willing to write it off for a peaceful life and divert that money away from your children for Goldenballs. Get rid of this leech FFS!

If it were me, I'd be reconsidering the relationship. In the long run it's easier to deal with the upheaval and hurt now than it would be to put up with a disrespectful, money grabbing twat for the rest of my life.

I'm the one in the relationship that spends our money and adds to credit cards, the difference being 90% goes ON OUR DAUGHTER or house! It is beyond belief that he has put you 8k in debt and none of it has been for the benefit of your house or children. This is one of the most disgusting heartbreaking things I've ever read on Mumsnet. He is not a parent. He is not a partner. Please please leave.

You won’t be getting that money.
Don’t give him money again.
Ensure holiday spends are for you & the kids. He brings his own money on holiday.

This has brought out his true colours. He sounds awful. Gaslighting, insulting.. I wouldn’t be able to have sex or cuddle him again. Get rid

Small claims court

He's never going to pay you back OP, nor anyone else for that matter.

He's quite happy with things the way they are.

Are you? 💐

Memorise this OP x

Important question.

And end the relationship ?

End this farce . He is horrible . Tell him your not going on any holiday and you what your money or your going to a solicitor /small
claims court .
Apply for child maintenance as it sounds like you will be better off without him all around .
Why are you staying and putting up with this you should ask yourself ?

I don’t see how he can dispute this if the bill is in front of him though?

I would seriously be telling him to stay elsewhere until he sorts himself out and pays you back. Or I’d be telling him to take the stuff back and/ or flog it on eBay or you’ll do it when he’s at work. I’d certainly stop all wife work like cooking, cleaning etc and tell him he can pay someone else to do it.

Secretly does he want your credit rating to be as bad as his? And if he does have a bad credit rating then why isn’t he saving the money?

Obviously never agree to lend him money again, but honestly I think this would be a deal breaker for me.

Oh yes and tell him that you’ve cancelled the holiday because now you can’t afford it. Then at the last minute go with the kids without him.

Which has already been answered by the OP.