To feel done with life?

[Destinyisall01]

By that, I don’t mean I’m suicidal.

I mean I don’t see the point in any more life for me but I don’t want to hurt myself.

I’m no more depressed than I have been previously. Had counselling and medication. Don’t feel I need more.

I’ve done all the things humans are meant to do. I’ve had highs and lows, felt all the emotions. Had children.

I don’t see the rest of my life as a book to be written. I’m not excited. There’s nothing I want to do that is achievable for me. I don’t feel I have anything to live for that isn’t me sticking around for someone else. I don’t actually want to participate in life. I don’t want to go outside or see people.

It’s not a conclusion I’ve reached under dramatic circumstances. It’s more a realisation that I’m coming to the end of a book and I don’t care what happens to the characters after it finishes.

Does anyone relate?

No you weren't. You may have been the child of a depressed person but you were not @Destinyisall01 's child and you are now projecting your own issues here.

I didn’t lose them to social services.

I have a place I go, and I sit and they pay me. There’s no change, no chance for advancement and no skill is required. If I could leave I would.

what post has the op even remotely given the indication that she is actually looking for help? None. This is clearly not a thread looking for help

i have made my point so I can go

I’ve been very clear I’m not looking for help.

I hear you don't want to be on medication OP, what about ECT? I have seen that working very well for people articulating very similar anhedonia to what you are expressing here, and whose lives had not previously meaningfully improved through meds and therapy.

Quite a few studies in this area now too.

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/41448396/

Anhedonia

Surely you want to stick around for your children

You write fantastically well. Do you enjoy writing?

another shout for looking at ECT OP if you don't want to do meds.

It sounds like you don't have purpose or meaning in your life at the moment and that's fuelling the depression. Is there anything that used to bring you joy or contentment in the past? Even as a kid?

Sounds like it's been tough for you 💐

I don’t really remember much from my childhood. I wasn’t raised by my mum, no dad. There were some bad bits but it wasn’t awful. Just very quiet. I didn’t have any hobbies. I was a young carer from my mid teens and from that went straight into parenting.

Any hobby I’ve ever tried has never stuck.

I will look at ECT.

This is very kind. Thank you. I always performed well in writing tasks at school and I have written things before. I don’t get any enjoyment writing just for me though.

I get it, OP. I'm 52 and feel the same. I have a wonderful partner, no children. I've had depression three times in my life where I've required anti-depressants but never a significant dosage and never on them over two years and no problems coming off them. I know the signs when I'm depressed.

This isn't that. I feel I've achieved anything I might have done in my life, no aims or ambitions or dreams. Unless I somehow came into a few million quid when I'd use a lot of it to do good. I have some regrets of things if like to have done when younger but which I cannot now achieve. I don't believe the world is a fabulous place and see a lot of unhappiness and struggles in so many people.

I don't wish to harm myself but at the same time have no desire to hang around.