To feel done with life?

[Destinyisall01]

By that, I don’t mean I’m suicidal.

I mean I don’t see the point in any more life for me but I don’t want to hurt myself.

I’m no more depressed than I have been previously. Had counselling and medication. Don’t feel I need more.

I’ve done all the things humans are meant to do. I’ve had highs and lows, felt all the emotions. Had children.

I don’t see the rest of my life as a book to be written. I’m not excited. There’s nothing I want to do that is achievable for me. I don’t feel I have anything to live for that isn’t me sticking around for someone else. I don’t actually want to participate in life. I don’t want to go outside or see people.

It’s not a conclusion I’ve reached under dramatic circumstances. It’s more a realisation that I’m coming to the end of a book and I don’t care what happens to the characters after it finishes.

Does anyone relate?

No you weren't. You may have been the child of a depressed person but you were not @Destinyisall01 's child and you are now projecting your own issues here.

I didn’t lose them to social services.

I have a place I go, and I sit and they pay me. There’s no change, no chance for advancement and no skill is required. If I could leave I would.

what post has the op even remotely given the indication that she is actually looking for help? None. This is clearly not a thread looking for help

i have made my point so I can go

I’ve been very clear I’m not looking for help.

I hear you don't want to be on medication OP, what about ECT? I have seen that working very well for people articulating very similar anhedonia to what you are expressing here, and whose lives had not previously meaningfully improved through meds and therapy.

Quite a few studies in this area now too.

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/41448396/

Anhedonia

Surely you want to stick around for your children

You write fantastically well. Do you enjoy writing?

another shout for looking at ECT OP if you don't want to do meds.

It sounds like you don't have purpose or meaning in your life at the moment and that's fuelling the depression. Is there anything that used to bring you joy or contentment in the past? Even as a kid?

Sounds like it's been tough for you 💐

I don’t really remember much from my childhood. I wasn’t raised by my mum, no dad. There were some bad bits but it wasn’t awful. Just very quiet. I didn’t have any hobbies. I was a young carer from my mid teens and from that went straight into parenting.

Any hobby I’ve ever tried has never stuck.

I will look at ECT.

This is very kind. Thank you. I always performed well in writing tasks at school and I have written things before. I don’t get any enjoyment writing just for me though.

I get it, OP. I'm 52 and feel the same. I have a wonderful partner, no children. I've had depression three times in my life where I've required anti-depressants but never a significant dosage and never on them over two years and no problems coming off them. I know the signs when I'm depressed.

This isn't that. I feel I've achieved anything I might have done in my life, no aims or ambitions or dreams. Unless I somehow came into a few million quid when I'd use a lot of it to do good. I have some regrets of things if like to have done when younger but which I cannot now achieve. I don't believe the world is a fabulous place and see a lot of unhappiness and struggles in so many people.

I don't wish to harm myself but at the same time have no desire to hang around.

Maybe you could write for others?

This is awful to read. I'm so sorry about your bereavements OP, it sounds like such dreadful things have happened to you it's not surprising that you feel this way.

I was thinking this. Could you write it!

Hi. What medication did you finally take that worked for you please?

My brother was on maximum.doses of the usual anti. depressants.
They didnt work.
His new regime includes lithium and quetiapine.
It's working.
Google treatment resistant depression

Hi OP, I hear you. I have also suffered with depressiin since a teen. Had all the therapy, CBT, different medications. Last year I qas sick of this (aged 40) and asked for a medical review at the GP. I'd been on citalopram for over a decade, but I just wanted to not be around anymore. Knowing if a car hit me, I'd be at peace with that, but that I wouldn't actively take my life. They put me on escitalopram, which is better for chronic depression. It's been six months, and I can tell you I've experienced joy and contentment. I didn't think that could happen again for me. I have things I want to do. It hasn't cured me, I could still be at peace with going tomorrow, but I am also at peace with carrying on. If you haven't had a mental health medical review for a while please do give it a go, it could help. It is not ok to be left to carry on feeling like this when there could be things out there that help, even something that hasn't been considered for you yet like ECT or psychedelics.

I’ve been on duloxetine for almost 20 years. This was after trying 5-6 different antidepressants.

It’s absolutely NOT perfect: I still have depression, but it’s manageable. I have zero libido.

And you need to understand that what works for me might not work for you - we’re all wired very differently.

You might need to try lots of meds before you find one (or a combination) that works for you. You will need a strong support network to manage that. Find a doctor you trust and talk to them. Wishing you all the best x

I feel the same. Lifelong mental illness, late diagnosed neurodivergence, at nearly 50 I can't bear the thought of another 30 plus years of this shit. But I have dc who I absolutely adore with my whole being and could not put them through the pain of no Mum. So I stay.

I feel the same,lifetime of regrets,people pleasing,not really discovering who I am,not doing stuff which i liked or wanted to do,stupid shameful decisions which haunt me 30 years later, and now forever confined to the house caring for my severely disabled son who is impossible to take out and so hard to look after with no help.life just hasn't worked out for me or I failed at it, take your pick.anti depressants for years trying to hold all this together like a big used flapping plaster.wishing all of us peace,life is tough.

sounds like the menopause. i feel like this a lot,

My DSis has struggled with depression for 30 years. It used to be more up and down but has now settled into dysthymic depression. The one thing that has begun to make a difference is tDCS stimulation treatment via a flow headset. This has some evidence behind it and is patchily available from the NHS, but can be bought or rented. My sister wears it at home.

Life can be very difficult and joyless. I really hope that things get brighter for you. 💐

Depression exists in younger women too, very sadly.

I was depressed from age 16.