Who gets the compensation?

[LottyLollipop]

Genuinely interested to see peoples opinions on this one....

I am the higher earner and unfortunately feel stuck in a bit of an expectation that if we go anywhere, I pay.
We recently went on holiday (myself, my OH and my 7 year old DD) and our direct flights out there were cancelled the night before and we were rebooked onto a new flight that involved a stop in the middle. Our connecting flight was substantially delayed but we got there eventually and ended up having an amazing time.

I paid for the flights, hire car, accommodation, all food and souvenirs etc. OH didn't even pay for a coffee.

I looked into getting compensation for the delay/cancellation and we were told that we were entitled to it but that I had to issue all the passengers bank details. We have since been paid some compensation, mine and our daughters came to me and my OH's went straight to his bank.

My thoughts were that as I paid for everything, that I should have the compensation which would go towards our next outing. My OH says that the compensation is for the annoyance factor of having to wait around and therefore he is entitled to his money and was therefore going to use it on sorting his car out.

What are your thoughts?

I voted YANBA. I totally see your point.

It's a worry you have to ask.

But then again, it's also a worry you're happy to let this man use you as a cash cow.

He didn't even buy a coffee and you think that's ok?

Other men are available you know.

Ffs op - next time take your child on holiday and leave the freeloader at home.

What does he pay for? Does he pay half the household bills or proportionally according to his income?

I think that you should have received all the compensation as you have paid for absolutely everything. He is being unreasonable.

Mate, are you desperate? He is taking the piss.

It's compensation for the inconvenience suffered, so should go to each passenger. When people post on here about delay repay for train tickets paid for by their employer, the consensus is that the passenger should receive it because they experienced the inconvenience.

Whether your OH should spend it on his car or contribute it to expenditure on a future family outing is another question...

I suggest once he has sorted out his car, he gets in it and drives off into the sunset.

Legally he is right, morally he is wrong. Not surprised you are annoyed.
Id be looking at balancing things out a bit more with family finances.

How would he pay for his car otherwise? would he be looking to borrow money from you to cover it? If so, it is probably easiest to leave it as it is. However, it is definitely worth revisiting split if not the relationship.

He’s right that the compensation is for the inconvenience. It’s not a refund.

But he’s a cheeky sod and you’re a mug for subbing him to the extent that you do.

Whilst he has a point about it being compensation for his inconvenience I would be fucking him off immediately. Tight git.

Honestly, he's a mooch. Who goes away and doesn't even pay for a coffee?

He resents that you earn more and treats you like crap because of it.

The compensation is not the issue. The way your finances are split is the issue. And it’s not because what you do is wrong, it’s because you clearly feel aggrieved by it and so does he.

This would not even be more than a brief mention in our household - ‘Did you get the compensation money or do we need to chase that one up?’ End of conversation.

We share all our cash, so we’d decide together what we spent and what we saved but that also means that there’s no way I’d be solely responsible for paying for a family holiday.

This situation can’t continue. It’s not fair on you and it sounds like you’re not happy with it. I’m not saying it should be 50/50 if you earn more, but it should be at least proportionate. Let him have the money. Realistically, it’s already in his account so you couldn’t access it even if you wanted to. But warn him that he might not want to spend all of it on his car if he ever wants to go on holiday again because the next family holiday won’t be all on you.

Why didn't he pay his way, do you live with him, will you benefit from him "sorting his car out". How would he pay for the car without the compo.

Wow, he didn’t even put his hand in his pocket for a coffee.

How do you have a scrap of respect for, or any attraction, to this parasite.

I’m actually embarrassed for him. What a leech.

Are you married? If so why on earth don’t you have a joint bank account? Makes things so much easier. If not I’m not entirely sure what he brings to the table.

Oh well if he stands his ground he can rest assured there won't be a repeat as he won't be at the airport on a Freebie next time. What a dick

I am also the higher earner in our rellationship and am not entirely comfortable with the way if I want to do "nice things" I have to pay or go with someone else, but I am sat here open mouthed at the cheek of your OH.

ETA he would absoutley buy coffee, dinner, beer while we're away though.

Why do you fund your partner's holidays and buy them stuff to the point they and you find it reasonable they didn't even buy one coffee?

If a woman did that they'd be told they were a gold digger.

Your husband sucks.
I have 2nd hand embarrassment reading about him.

Ask once more and If he doesnt give you that cash dont argue.

The next holiday you say your share is X (and price it at 50% of total cost) you need to pay by Y. If he doesnt pay just go ahead and book it for just you and your dd and go without him.

They're not married.

The OP has said in the past that if they were to get married, she'd be expected to pay for that too.

Honestly, the flight compensation is the least of your worries.

Why are you allowing yourself to be treated like this by anyone, let alone an OH?

This. Stop being such a doormat.

Has he absolutely no self-respect at all?

How on earth you can find this behaviour attractive is beyond me.