To be sick of my hobbies being judged differently just because I’m fat?

[hobbiesevademe]

Basically just the question in my title.

I run, but slowly. Of course the fact I’m slow in some moral failing and I must aim to lose as much weight as possible and get faster. But if a skinny person is a slow runner, it’s something that’s praised and respected.

I bake, really bloody good cakes. And it’s obviously because I like eating cake, right 🙄 but if someone skinny bakes an impressive cake, it’s a work of art.

I sew, and it’s grandma-ish and frumpy. But if a skinny person sews their own clothes it’s cool, sustainable and “cottage core”

I like sports and it must be to get guys, but when a skinny girl likes the same sports it’s cool and she’s accepted.

i read, and it’s “lonely” and a bit pathetic.

im a bit sick of being labelled negatively for everything I bloody do. I feel like I can’t win.

I think you are projecting a lot. Also if you don't like being called fat then don't call others skinny. It's equally offensive!

Who is saying all this stuff? It's great to have hobbies, good luck to you.

I do all the above except running, I’m what I’d class as average sized (12/14) and I’ve never heard any of the above comments, either positive or negative.

Are these comments coming from supposed friends, colleagues or strangers?

I said YABU as your post has a paranoid flavour.

I cant imagine anyone, other than a few strange people, are thinking these things about you

I didn’t mention that being called fat is an issue - it’s a fact of who I am. Same as being skinny is a fact.

It comes over as though you have a very negative view of yourself OP.

Pretty much everyone. I post on a running forum and get told I need to get a move on. I speak to colleagues about sewing and they say I need to “get a life”

Are your colleagues 11 year olds?

Are you arguing with yourself because who's saying these things??

Fuck 'em. You sound cool. Just ignore them and keep doing you. The right people will think you are great.

It's really not

I run, was quite fast (nothing amazing) but kept getting injuries so now I run 5ks only and slowly. Never had anything but encouragement whether I was 9st or 12st 10 (I’ve been both). I read, we talk about books, I bake, eat cake with friends. I do wonder if these perceptions are in your head or you’re hanging round with arseholes. Go to park run - everyone is encouraged and it’s not competitive (except the speedy ones).

The only person labelling you all these negative things is you.

Who says any of this? I've never heard of cottage-core. I am a runner and it's a very supportive hobby for anyone.

Sounds like a lot of this is inside your head op.

I read a lot. I talk about books often with others that enjoy reading, and in the earshot of those that don't. I've never had anywhere close to a negative comment or anyone saying it's lonely or pathetic. People join in saying they loved xyz book too or they don't get much time to read, or that they've never been a reader but wish they were. Basically, universally positive or neutral. You must be mixing with very odd people imo.

I was coming on to say exactly this.

Word for word!

Yes but if you're in this sort of mindset and you care far too much about what others think, it doesn't matter what your body looks like.

It's giving too much of a shit about what others think that's your main problem here.

I think this is either made up or inside your head and I doubt someone has made negative comments about every single hobby you have. This sounds more like you projecting.
Thing is realistically and unfortunately fat people are judged more.

I think the issue is the people you associate with.

Just reply with "why do you think that?" to it all.

You need to go faster!
Why do you think that?
Because speed is the aim
Why do you think that?
Cos it's called running so it has to be fast
Why do you think that?

I made this skirt
You need to get a life
Why do you think that
Cos sewing is for losers
Why do you think that?
Cos I buy all my own clothes
But why do you think that?

They'll either get bored and shut up or gain some personal growth

You’re on the wrong running forums if people are commenting on your weight or speed. Have you looked at the MN one? Nobody cares how fast you are.

Your colleagues sound like twats.

I’m not naive though. Being fat makes people act more negatively towards you. We are judged on our body shape more than most other things.

i think you’re overthinking this, or need new friends.

How do people online know you’re a plus size runner? They can’t see you. If I see a larger lady running, I think ‘go girl!’ And admire them for getting out there and running.

Regardimg cakes, has anyone said that your cakes are good because you’re fat? No one thinks that!

Also, the chances are your colleagues would say ‘get a life’ to other people sewing.

Fuck email all - you are doing a great job of living and doing what you love. Screw everyone else! You're a great role model of a person who is winning 👌

What kind of a running forum requires you to list your weight?

Yanbu girl, but keep going - you deserve to be happy x

I think it’s about the people you have around you.

Some people don’t have hobbies. I’m average sized, and do half of your hobbies (sew, run, bake) and people are either interested or they are not.

Some people don’t get it “why sew when you can buy your clothes”. “Isn’t it a waste of time” for running its “why not just go to the gym” “I don’t understand how people run in the cold”

People that don’t get it will always have a comment. People that have their own guilty pleasures and hobbies will understand you.

Also, you are probably also merging IRL and online opinions - as online definitely adores the skinny girl doing something on camera (usually) - unless too skinny of course, because I’ve seen comments go the other way.

Keep doing them. And find your club

I've never heard anyone say that I play sport to get guys. I play rugby which is extremely cool whatever size or shape you are.