To be sick of my hobbies being judged differently just because I’m fat?

[hobbiesevademe]

Basically just the question in my title.

I run, but slowly. Of course the fact I’m slow in some moral failing and I must aim to lose as much weight as possible and get faster. But if a skinny person is a slow runner, it’s something that’s praised and respected.

I bake, really bloody good cakes. And it’s obviously because I like eating cake, right 🙄 but if someone skinny bakes an impressive cake, it’s a work of art.

I sew, and it’s grandma-ish and frumpy. But if a skinny person sews their own clothes it’s cool, sustainable and “cottage core”

I like sports and it must be to get guys, but when a skinny girl likes the same sports it’s cool and she’s accepted.

i read, and it’s “lonely” and a bit pathetic.

im a bit sick of being labelled negatively for everything I bloody do. I feel like I can’t win.

Is this just your perception of what people say?
Because I never hear those sort of comments aimed at anyone.
I am slim and after the couch to 5k, did a park run. I am slow runner, got overtaken by a gentleman walking and a larger lady pushing a pram. In fact I came last and everyone was waiting and cheering me. I could have died, in my new Sweaty Betty gear, all lovely and slim and by the end I looked a wreck. That’s it, can’t face that again.
So you see it works both ways. I have large friends, I have skinny friends and I don’t judge a single one of them. Hold your head up high and keep being you.

Particularly on this thread where people don’t believe OP.

i am a fat slow runner. I do the jeffing technique and recently ran a half marathon - only started running a year ago. I run for 45 secs and walk for 30 for the whole distance. My experience is that posting ANYTHING about running on ANYTHING where people post their pace will have the pace police out! Forget strava and instagram - I have left both as both toxic and makes me feel bad. Running makes me feel
good - I do it for myself and I will not talk to anyone about it because it’s nothing to do with them and I don’t care what they think.

If people are actually saying these things to you then you really, really need better friends!

I have literally never heard of even one of the examples you've listed. Who says they respect "skinny girls for running slowly"? The other examples are just as strange.

Yeah but do you have a slim colleague who sews that they find cool because of it?

Because I knit, I’m a size 4, and no one thinks it’s cool.

I mean, I’m not saying people don’t have negative views and prejudices towards overweight individuals! And I can definitely see how those views would colour how they view exercise or food based hobbies. But I think the sewing is a bit of a stretch.

I'm envious of you. Wish I could do all that. Take no notice of the lot of them. Tell them you're happy living your life your way😊

This ^

do you know the saying: it is none of your business what others think of you? 😃
ignore them all and do your hobbies. You are so lucky to have so many you enjoy.

You need better people in your life. I don’t get those comments when I do those activities and I’m clinically obese.

Pretty privilege is real and this is basically an example of it.
But who’s really judging. Most people are too busy worrying about their own lives to care if someone else is running slowly, sewing or baking.

I was very very slim (skinny is offensive by the way) when I was running (cant do it anymore due to health issues) and I was slow. I can assure you that I didnt get any respect for it, just bellowed at by boorish men who demanded I get out of their way because god forbid they should go around me. I never moved, which earned me a few bruises but as they also ended up the floor, hopefully they learned a lesson!

Old fashioned regional expression used in my hearing, by my great aunt (and I'm the wrong side of 40) referring to someone who's, well, not slim.

I absolutely refuse to believe that fat people are judged for reading. What?

As someone who was always "skinny" in my early to mid adult years ,yes it is offensive
I never understood why people thought it rude to call someone fat but had no qualms saying I was "skinny "

Are you on social media a lot because I would cut down if you are , or are you over sharing about your life with people who arent invested in it? Social media does make you worry about things, and I would probably just release less information about my life to people who are not likely to be supportive. Pick your audience a bit more maybe? There's nothing wrong with any of your hobbies and you should just do what makes you happy and forget about what people think.

Do you think your baking and your sewing are good?
If you do that should be enough you get satisfaction and calm from doing thse hobbies.
Why do you need valedation, and why do you link it to size?
I teach sewing and my students come in all shapes and sizes- they all get praise for their work from friends, but little or no praise from family.
Maybe what you need is new friends not new hobbies.

Bollocks to them @hobbiesevademe

Do what makes you feel happy.

I carve spoons out of wood. It’s niche, I get funny looks when I tell people what I’m doing. I’m 40 now and too old to give any fucks.

I’m a size 16 and ride bikes. I’m just not going to be skinny- I like bread and cheese too much 😅

Life is hard enough without caring about other people’s view on my hobbies.

You get just as much judgment for being skinny. The type of people that are saying these comments to you would say something no matter what.

I was always judged for being too thin. Then when I put weight on, judged for not being as toned and fit as I was before! That’s not even being overweight.

The moral is, some people are judgemental.

I like sports and it must be to get guys, but when a skinny girl likes the same sports it’s cool and she’s accepted
i read, and it’s “lonely” and a bit pathetic

Dont be so dramatic and ridiculous. Noone thinks women who are overweight play sports to "get guys" and WTF is wrong with reading? are skinny women encouraged to read whilst overweight women shouldn't, what is the relevance of reading in this context?

You clearly have a hang up about these things and then your brain is using confirmation bias to find "evidence" of this world view you have that unless you are "skinny"- using your own words, you cant do anything in life.

These limitations you are putting on yourself, it has nothing to do with anyone else because if it did, then the only people in the world who would ever play sports, read, run or bake would be skinny people and thats clearly not true because go to park run for starters, and you'll see all shapes and sizes. I guess those women never got the memo that they arent allowed to do it because they're too busy just getting on and doing it!

You might be limited, but the only person putting those limits on you is yourself.

I think you may externalising opinions that you are really have about yourself i.e. you may attribute these opinions to other people when in fact it's how you see you.
If being fat is the common theme in all these negative feelings there are several ways of addressing that, one of which is acceptance and another is getting help in losing weight.

The OP is completely correct.

When I'm thin, everything I say is gospel. If I'm not, people don't even listen to me.

This is absolutely dripping in self-hatred.

I was going to say pretty much what other posters have said - a lot of it might be your self confidence and are you looking for approval in some way? You should be doing these hobbies because you genuinely enjoy them and if so who cares what anyone else thinks. I doubt other sewers would criticise anyone for being fat, or bakers, and most runners are pretty inclusive. Maybe don't talk so much about them (to outsiders) unless people ask.

I LOVE this

We’re all different and all have different hobbies. Your colleagues are just being rather rude. One of my colleagues I work closely with has very different interests even through we’re the same age. She probably has similar views to your colleagues but is polite and wouldn’t dream of saying it. I equally wouldn’t spend my time how she spends her spare time. However we both ask after each other’s weekend and make polite conversation.