To be sick of my hobbies being judged differently just because I’m fat?

[hobbiesevademe]

Basically just the question in my title.

I run, but slowly. Of course the fact I’m slow in some moral failing and I must aim to lose as much weight as possible and get faster. But if a skinny person is a slow runner, it’s something that’s praised and respected.

I bake, really bloody good cakes. And it’s obviously because I like eating cake, right 🙄 but if someone skinny bakes an impressive cake, it’s a work of art.

I sew, and it’s grandma-ish and frumpy. But if a skinny person sews their own clothes it’s cool, sustainable and “cottage core”

I like sports and it must be to get guys, but when a skinny girl likes the same sports it’s cool and she’s accepted.

i read, and it’s “lonely” and a bit pathetic.

im a bit sick of being labelled negatively for everything I bloody do. I feel like I can’t win.

You do seem to mix with a lot of prats!

"Get a move on." - Why?

"You need to get a life!" - I wasn't dead last time I checked 🤔

"I can see you like cake" - Yes, my bakes are delicious!

It all boils down to whether you let rude remarks bother you. If bullies can tell you're upset, they go harder. So don't let them, they're only emitting nonsense.

There's always the Mumsnet classic! Did you mean to be so rude?
Or: Have you always been an ill-mannered twerp, or did it happen suddenly?

I'm skinny and no one has ever said my hobbies sound cool or praised me for doing them. When I tell colleagues that I do HIIT/go to the gym they say 'but you're skinny, why bother?' When I tell them I like bird watching their eyes glaze over. But I don't care either way- I'd not enjoy their hobbies either!

When I had PND, my head was full of imaginary people judging my parenting. I spoke to a counsellor who pointed out it was just me judging myself. It was a revelation!

They responded “you need to get a life” because alot of people find sewing to be a boring hobby (not me, i sew and crochet) not because you’re fat.
ive told people i crochet and i get told thats boring or grandma hobby- im size 10-12.

I kind of get you, I post on a music forum for the musical instrument I play and I got some "constructive criticism" which I didn't really appreciate. People love to tear others down especially if they think they are getting too far ahead of themselves for their skill set. That's why I basically stopped posting anything personal on forums. I always end up feeling like an idiot/useless etc.

I honestly get what you mean, OP, but learn to be more private and do your hobbies without telling anyone! Loose lips sink ships! Don’t let anyone get you down.

The response I most often get to sewing is "I wish I could sew". They might just be being polite, but no one has ever disparaged me.

Slightly drifting from the point but it surprises me how many people can't even do simple clothing repairs and alterations. I've had people look baffled at comment such as 'why don't you take the hem up?'

YANBU
I’ve been fat a long time and recently lost weight with the help of mounjaro.
I thought I had recognised fatism, but I’m honestly shocked at the change in so many people’s behaviour since the weight-loss. The fatism must have been so much worse than I’d assumed.
I’m feeling for you @hobbiesevademe and understand what you’re saying. It’s ridiculous behaviour.

Even if you can't see its jokey- what's it got to do with weight??
Also how do the people on the running ap know your weight?
How do you know the cake comments are about you weight?
The liking sports?
The reading?

Honestly life is too short to care about what other people think of you

OP, can I ask how old you are? You really do sound like you're totally lacking in confidence, is there a reason for this?

I would also like to know in what context, and who, told you that your sewing is 'grandma-ish and frumpy?' Do you actually think that what you make is frumpy, as there are so many free sewing patterns out there these days, for every size and shape, that you never need to make anything 'frumpy' and if you like the styles you make, then sod what anyone else thinks?

I've recently taken up sewing for myself again, after not having made clothes for years, and while it may not be cheap any more, if you have the skills, you can make much nicer quality clothes, that fit really well, and make you feel like a million dollars. I've always struggled to buy trousers to fit, as I have large thighs, and this is part of the reason I took out my sewing machine again. Having done loads of research online, I have made a pair of high waisted, wide leg trousers, that fit me as if I'd paid a fortune to have them tailor made, and my granddaughters, all in their 20's, admired no end, and rather than knocking my sewing skills, they admire them, and are always asking me to do sewing jobs for them. So please don't lose heart over what anyone else has said, and if you feel that what you make has a 'home made' look to it, then get on YouTube, watch the videos, and learn how to improve your work.

Wise words!
I'm still looking for my tribe, hopefully I will find it

I have always been of slim build but always ran slowly...stamina , I reckon , is much more important than speed...that can be built up over time ( that is if you WANT to go faster?) Getting out and running like you do is better than tne majority of the population that hardly 'move' at all . Good on yer ! Keep doing it . Sod the naysayers

Your hobbies are lovely.

The people who call them are twats.

It is hard when you meet with judgemental comments but you can take yourself out of the situations where you get them. Forums seem to be worse than real life because people are behind a keyboard. If you enjoy running and it is good for you then do that, you don’t need to be on a forum.
It is good to have people who share your interests and they can bolster your confidence but it needs to be the right people.
Ignoring running, which has a lot of very confident and very competitive participants, the hobbies you list, and which I also enjoy, often have very warm communities.
You need to find your tribe.

You are massively projecting. I am fat and play sports, I think most think fair play to you. I know other women are genuinely impressed with the exercise I do, nothing at all to do with my size but because I’m a busy mum of two and obviously it’s hard work to fit exercise in. I read loads, can’t say anyone thinks it’s lonely, can’t say I’ve ever thought about what people think of it.

They are nasty people and you are not.
You sound very busy and accomplished.
Time for new friends, and to not care what others think. They are mostly jealous in reality.

Keep doing you

Loads of people read. It's not lonely and pathetic. It's a great way of getting into adventures / thrillers / romance / information at your own pace. Sewing is not grandma-ish and frumpy. Loads of people do it at all ages. Making cakes sounds ace! Don't berate yourself :) (I love to read, can't sew and love eating cakes). x

It's not about the hobby, nor about you. It's about the person saying it.

I have a favourite band, and I see them many times a year. And I used to have a colleague who was always telling me I needed to "get a life", or that I was "a bit sad". She had no life, I assume she was jealous.

I love your hobbies. And fatphobia can do one. I’ve been overweight (according to BMI) and very thin - I realised some people are obsessed with policing the bodies of those they see as fat/overweight. My own dad was the worst 😒

Why does it matter what other people think? We do hobbies for our own enjoyment. In fact, how do people even know what you do? If you're posting them all over socials and you're not happy with the response - don't! Not everything needs to be paraded. Things can be enjoyable even if other people don't know you're doing them.

Yes, society is fatphobic generally. I’m sorry it’s having an upsetting effect on your life.

Why do you think its anything to do with your body shape? Maybe you just work with arseholes? Has anyone actually verbalised a connection between your body shape and their perception of your hobbies, or its it just you?

Reading's not exactly niche. How can anyone judge reading?! You've got a bunch of hobbies, enjoy them and don't give a shit what other people think about them.

Can you write longer posts with factual examples who when said all these things about fat and skinny doing things and why skinny is always the winner, I bet so also only if she has pretty little face, mate. I can tell you I see true godesses with radiant faces and plump figures and nobodies with plain face and mousy hair but skinny...shall I tell you who the men prefer

If I see an overweight person running, the only thing on my mind is "good for you, girl"! Mind you, I would never say it to them as I don't want to sound patronising. If I see someone doing crafts or kintting, I think I want to try that. It ispires me (for like, 2 minutes, I have canvas that I ordered in a "inspo" phase never taken out of wraper, must be 2 years old ) Why are you posting on forums? Do you seek validation? Keep your posts private, your friends will absolutely not judge you, assholes will find fault in you even if you are Kate Moss. Don't seek people's approval, reality check, you will NEVER please everyone, especially now in the world of keyboard warriors