To be sick of my hobbies being judged differently just because I’m fat?

[hobbiesevademe]

Basically just the question in my title.

I run, but slowly. Of course the fact I’m slow in some moral failing and I must aim to lose as much weight as possible and get faster. But if a skinny person is a slow runner, it’s something that’s praised and respected.

I bake, really bloody good cakes. And it’s obviously because I like eating cake, right 🙄 but if someone skinny bakes an impressive cake, it’s a work of art.

I sew, and it’s grandma-ish and frumpy. But if a skinny person sews their own clothes it’s cool, sustainable and “cottage core”

I like sports and it must be to get guys, but when a skinny girl likes the same sports it’s cool and she’s accepted.

i read, and it’s “lonely” and a bit pathetic.

im a bit sick of being labelled negatively for everything I bloody do. I feel like I can’t win.

I think you sound like you’ve got great hobbies and also skills - I’m useless at baking and sewing!
I hope you continue to find joy in your hobbies and ignore the people with negative things to say

This. Also if colleagues are making comments may I suggest the old MN chestnut "Did you mean to be so rude?"

@hobbiesevademe I run, but slowly. Of course the fact I’m slow in some moral failing and I must aim to lose as much weight as possible and get faster. But if a skinny person is a slow runner, it’s something that’s praised and respected.

I think most people would not ridicule an overweight person doing exercise because it makes absolutely no sense. Exercise is for everyone regardless of shape, size, or ability.

This is a really heartbreaking post.
It’s great you do all these things. While I find it hard to imagine that people are really being so horrible, if they are then screw them!
Personally if I see a larger individual out running I have a huge amount of respect for them because I imagine it must be even harder when carrying extra weight.
Sewing is a brilliant hobby for mental health, so is cooking and so is reading. I think it’s your colleagues who need to get a life (and learn some manners), not you.

It is a fat weight though. I would be obese at that weight and I'm an average size. I agree with your other points though!

But most people dont have an interest in other people's hobbies.

You enjoy jogging so probably running forum usnt the right place.

Your collegeue doesnt have an interest in your hobby.

If someone has never been overweight/has always been conventionally attractive it can be really hard to understand the privilege that comes with that. So first I would give them a bit of benefit of the doubt. Just ignore the comments which are claiming that everyone is saintly, fair and it’s fat people that are just miserable with themselves.

Secondly - get off the internet. The forums, instagram etc. the only place I see the absolute dregs of the internet is fitness forums where people like to tear down each others progress for apparently no reason. Or comment on how people look or what they wear on any of that crap. Who cares if you are slow/what your pace is/what you do in your free time. Join a club or find a group that will bring you to like minded people irl and life will be so much nicer.

Speaking as someone who quit instagram/til tok etc… so worth it

Honestly anyone saying these things to you is just rude and there’s no need to care about the opinions of these idiots. Just keep doing what you enjoy and ignore them.

When I was losing weight I started an account to document my running progress. You would not believe the amount of comments along the lines of “if you are running this much why are you still fat” or “how can you still be this slow when you’ve been doing this for months” or even ones accusing me of lying about even doing the runs! I deleted it in the end.

Fat to thin. People treat you differently. No question. YANBU

Hobbies are what you do for you, to make you happy, not for praise. Why do you want admiration for sewing, baking and running? Just concentrate on doing it for yourself. What has body shape got to do with it. Your colleagues are rude AF insulting your hobbies.

The people saying being called skinny is as offensive as being called fat, yeah sure it is 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I think your problem is actually caring what other people might think of you, your hobbles or how well you perform. Surely the whole point is that YOU enjoy what you do.

Op, are you sure people say this to you in those words? I am finding it difficult to imagine a co-worker telling you to "get a life" in response to you saying you sow. It sounds so extreme. It sounds like the problem might be rejection sensitive dysphoria.

Speaking as someone who used to be obese and has lost 5 stone over the past few years, unfortunately I'm cynical enough to think you're not just being paranoid, OP. Bigger people are still perceived entirely differently even in this day and age - I was definitely treated differently when I was bigger than I am now. Depressing.

I’m a yo yo dieter so I ran as a average sized woman and as a very overweight woman, arsehole guys made stupid comments whatever size I was but that’s on them, no one I actually cared about said anything negative.
I sew and cross stitch ( when I have time) as a fat woman not any comments except compliments.
I read loads and even run a book club again no negative comments.
I’m not a great baker but a decent cook again no negatives people were too busy enjoying the food.
I don’t do sports not because of my size ( although my huge boobs do get in the way a bit) they are just not my thing, but if I wanted to I wouldn’t give a fuck what other people thought.
You need new friends and to develop some self confidence. I was badly bullied in secondary school( I was very skinny then so nothing to do with my weight ) so once I went out into the world I resolved to not worry about what people say about me.
People saying nasty things to you are just adult bullies who are only happy when they are making other people miserable, they are to be pitied not believed.

If your colleagues are the sort to say “get a life” about sewing, I highly doubt they’d find anything cottagecore cool or quirky-in-a-good-way, regardless of weight.

Sorry everyone, I’ve been cutting a pattern out 🤣 yes people do actually say that to me. I was asked what my
plans were this weekend and I said that I’d be sewing, to which they responded “you need to get a life”

I just feel like I’m being hugely judged for normal things

Well I've been fat and thin. I can tell you being called fat is far worse

Well I don’t think that

I agree Op.
I don't think people have to say anything directly - it's very obvious.
Social media, TV, books all use thin people to do cooking when it's considered a skill. I struggle to think of overweight cooks even.
I agree with the running one too. It's why rugby is so noticeably different.

and as I said, the answer to that is "did you mean to be so rude?"

Can we be friends!? Honestly I love your hobbies, they're similar to mine, I am also "fat" but hell I'm happy, screw what anyone else thinks!

Are the comments on the running forum just generic motivators? If not then maybe close your account and set up a new one with a different username and this time don’t disclose your true weight. You will get the benefits of being on the site without the fat bias.

Your colleagues are narrow minded and rude. Stop telling them personal things. They aren’t friends and nor should you want them to be. Just quietly enjoy your varied and interesting hobbies. They make your life much richer and you a more interesting person

That is just rude - whoever said it is either an arsehole or lacking basic social skills or both.

People often mention to me that they're doing something at the weekend that would be my personal idea of hell, but there's always something you can say in response that's pleasant, if you can't or don't want to feign enthusiasm you can always ask a polite question - such as 'what are you making?' if it's craft or sewing, or 'where do you run?' if it's running.