To be sick of my hobbies being judged differently just because I’m fat?

[hobbiesevademe]

Basically just the question in my title.

I run, but slowly. Of course the fact I’m slow in some moral failing and I must aim to lose as much weight as possible and get faster. But if a skinny person is a slow runner, it’s something that’s praised and respected.

I bake, really bloody good cakes. And it’s obviously because I like eating cake, right 🙄 but if someone skinny bakes an impressive cake, it’s a work of art.

I sew, and it’s grandma-ish and frumpy. But if a skinny person sews their own clothes it’s cool, sustainable and “cottage core”

I like sports and it must be to get guys, but when a skinny girl likes the same sports it’s cool and she’s accepted.

i read, and it’s “lonely” and a bit pathetic.

im a bit sick of being labelled negatively for everything I bloody do. I feel like I can’t win.

Don’t listen to them.

You should be VERY proud of yourself 😊

I’m fat and literally have never experienced any of this. I’ve run 2 half marathons. I’ve done a 500 mile weeklong cycling holiday. I’ve walked a Camino. Literally no one made me feel like it was any less spectacular because I was fat.

Isnt that just a jokey comment 🤔

I don’t think it’s very jokey?

As someone who used to be described as skinny on a regular basis, I can tell you it definitely is offensive thanks

It is rude for sure. But no it's not as offensive or upsetting as being called fat because we live in a society where thinness is prized so being called skinny just isn't as loaded as being called fat is.

What’s that got to do with being fat, though?

I’ve been fat and I’ve been slim, and nobody treated my hobbies (which include running, cooking and reading) any differently either way.

I dont know who these people in your life are, who are making disparaging remarks, but not one of them is a friend\

Im fat ( not as fat as I was , but still carrying ) I go park run when I have the time. Do I run? Not a ruddy mission, I walk, speed walk, slow jog, I get around in under 45 mins - which is a slow run speed - so fuck the runners :)

Ive been sat crocheting most of the afternoon and evening , just stopped as the light is too bad now, I have a bloody life and crocheting what I need in soft furnishings and clothes, allows me the spare pennies to live that life

Would love to be able to sew

Seriously, your life sounds pretty darn good to me, so drop these people who feel that have the right to judge

A phrase I never got a few years ago - find your tribe - find your people - I get now. Drop those that dont hold your values, hobbies,. Yes it gets a bit lonely for a wee while, until you realise you dont have so much negativity and doubt in your life, and slowiy you find the people like you

Surround yourself with people with your values and ideals, hobbies, you grow yourself

Please, you get to decide whether it’s a comment worthy of your consideration. If running, sewing, whatever brings you joy - does so - keep on doing it and don’t let people deprive you of that. You will find naysayers everywhere but, you will also find your own corner of the map if you keep on seeking it.

Do what you love and what brings joy, purpose and meaning to your life

But you think they’re judging you because you’re fat? What does weight have to do with it?! If I said I was sewing this weekend, I’m 8st9 and my friends would probably jokingly laugh and say ‘wow how exciting’ not based on weight… based on how they feel about sewing!

Stop caring about what others think!

When I see ANYONE run I admire them because it’s bloody hard IMO!

Yeah this was said to me often, and not in a nice way, when I was in the deepest grip of anorexia. It was said in such a way as to imply I must feel that I was better than them for being so thin. I didnt. I hated myself.

Who is saying these things? Are the voices in your head?

People come in all shapes and sizes and most people hardly notice.

It is.

Being fat is a fact. Being slim is a fact.

Skinny is insulting as it implies that someone is too slim, in an insulting way. I have been a 22 and a size 6. Never felt as judged as a fat woman as I did when I was at my slimmest.

You’re hanging out with the wrong kind of people. I’m fat and I sew, knit, read and paint and have a cat too. Fuck anyone who disses my life choices.

You definitely need to stop caring what others think. There are so many people in this world and unfortunately a lot of them are miserable bastards. I used to feel like you but when I turned 30 all of a sudden I stopped caring. Life is so short, do what makes you happy and sod what other people say.

You sound very cool - sewing, baking, running. Amazing.

im in awe of you

i can’t think of any normal people that would act in this way - so it’s them not you. Try to ignore their envy as you are living your best life.!

What’s that got to do with you being fat?

I’m finding it hard to believe the running comments too. As a fellow slow runner and a bit of a chunk, I have had nothing but positive things from fellow runners online. You might get the odd bored troll who says things for a rise but ordinary runners want to see you do well, no matter your size or speed.

I actually think you've got a point. People subconsciously judge people and size is one of those ways. I genuinely love watching atypical people running because I think 'good on you' because how are you supposed to get fit without exercising?!

There is an unconscious bias about overweight people and I think you've not only experienced it but articulated it too.

Just do you .

whether you run, sew, play the trumpet, watch opera, make jewellery, weave natural yarns or keep bees.

you are you. Your hobbies and interests are yours.

sod anyone else. You don’t need their approval or consent .

do what makes you tick and don’t care about others opinions

It really isn’t.

Yep!

Without getting drawn into the fat/skinny debate, I can definitely empathise with how hard it feels when third parties are disparaging of your hobbies.

Im 49 and like walking, gardening and jigsaws. I was ashamed of liking jigsaws for several years as I thought it made me seem like a pensioner. I now realise that judgement is mainly within my head and judgemental people are not my people.

you do you. There are more people than you realise in your tribe. xx

Enjoy your hobbies OP! It’s your life not theirs. It’s not really for others to even comment, if you see someone loving a hobby or activity just be happy for them.

I am in my 50s now. I have a disability and life has been pretty rough the last few years. So I am just glad to be alive in my little home enjoying my life as best as I can. I absolutely love to read, I read about 100 books a year at the moment. I also love jigsaws, radio dramas, crosswords, gardening, my pets, nature. I’ve been trying out new crafts and Lego in the last couple of years to expand my hobbies. I wish I could sew as you can.

after a bad breakdown part of my therapy was to try hobbies to see what I like and who I am, the state I was in at the time I couldn’t do anything. At that point I didn’t know how to cope anymore and I had to try to focus on something for five minutes just to get through the next five minutes. So to all the hobby haters out there my hobbies and mindfulness activities have helped to save me from a dark abyss that I didn’t think I was going to get out of.

Is someone actually saying all this stuff to you or is this the voice of the shadow part of you, judging you?

Maybe there’s something else about your personality that makes everyone negative towards what you do. I’ve been fat and I’ve been skinny and never had this.