To wonder what this school mum has been saying about me

[Aintgotnomama]

There's a school Mum that I've known for a few years. She's recently been acting strange around me. I suspect I know why and I'll explain shortly. I've also noticed that the other mums who are close with her have also being acting strange with me. They are giving off 'mean girl' vibes and it has me pondering what on earth has been said to them.

We all see eachother a lot due to clubs, parties, school runs etc. I'm happy to say a pleasant hi/bye, keep it simple and will continue to do so.

They have all been incredibly hostile for a while. I've ignored it and focused on my own happenings as I have too many real problems in my life to give this too much head space however, they are really rude and it's getting a bit weird.

I suspect this behaviour has stemmed from me missing the 'main culprits' childs' party. Of course it wasn't a great thing to do. I mixed up my days thinking the party was on a Sunday when it was actually the Saturday. I seen the bday Mum make a fb post, on the Sat and realised my mistake. I instantly messaged the Mum to apologise. Bday Mum didn't respond.

In my defence, I had 5 different kids parties that month, including my own child's to organise. I was 4 weeks into a new career and up to my eyeballs with training. I have a demyelinating chronic disease that flared up and hospitalised me for 2 days that same week requiring some invasive treatment and my head was all over the place trying to juggle everything. A mixed up in days was an honest mistake given the stress I was under.

I then noticed I was deleted on fb by bday Mum and a few others. Fine, we weren't that close so it's understandable. They also left some joint WhatsApp groups.

Then came the more hostile behaviour from bday Mum. 'Growling' acting 'standoffish' going to weird lengths to avoid contact and interactions. The other parents in her circle started behaving the same way towards me.

It's all a bit bizarre really and I won't be acting on it because I'ts all very batshit and have real life problems to deal with.

But aibu to find this all very childish and unnecessary? I really can't understand why grown woman would feel the need to act like this, especially the ones I don't really know and are following what the bday Mum had told them.

She’s growling at you?

Her and the other parents growling at you is very strange behaviour indeed.

I don’t believe she was actually growling at you.

Had you accepted the invitation to the party but then just didn’t turn up?

She said she mixed the days up so presumably she said her child would be attending but only realised the mix up after the party.

These people sound ridiculous op, I would just ignore the lot of them.

I know you said you don’t have the headspace but the behaviour is clearly getting to you.

There may be many reasons why she’s being like that - it really doesn’t matter. Just get on with your life and let them get on with theirs.

Of course you will get the usual mix of ‘she’s just jealous’ and ‘ask someone who knows both of you’ but ultimately it’s irrelevant.

Ah that’s awful. How many years have you left st that school?

If they're growling, make sure you're vaccinated for rabies. Weird neighborhood.

what? She growled at you?

😂 second this.

Unless the sun is permanently in their eyes, they are definitely growling.

I will say hi on passing and be left with an awkward 'growl' or blank stare with no response.

I don't have much head space to deal with it but of course no one wants to be treated with hostility. It's so unnecessary.

Do we still use the term Wendy on here? This mum has Wendied you - influenced the weak minded sheep to not be friends with you.

As you wisely say, you have more important things to worry about. Ignore the whole stupid lot of them!

Do you mean scowling rather than growling?

Pathetic behaviour all round, from so called grown adults!

The word Growling must mean different things depending on where you live.

Aka resting bitch face, snarling, scowling etc. Hope this clears up any misunderstanding

Do you mean scowl?

Are you from Glasgow OP? I know exactly what growling means in this context!

I think it must be that! Auto correct fail

Not Glasgow but I am from Scotland

I can see the post has already been derailed by local dialect. Great

Growling to me means making an audible noise, like a dog. Is that what you are saying the school mum was doing?

If you don’t want to be treated badly by them, don’t engage with them. You pissed them off, they are allowed to be angry about that. Your choice is how you respond to that.

How expensive was the party? If it was sandwiches and cake at home not a big deal. If it was cinema, bowling and catered, she may well be annoyed that you just forgot. Did you sincerely apologise or just say you forgot? Are you sure that is all that has happened?

Have you tried stopping and talking to them rather than just walking past and saying hi. Or catching one of them and seeing if you can find out what's going on.

Ignore the hard of reading here.

1. So sorry you are having such a stressful time.
2. give them huge smiles and be super cheery when you see them. “heloooo betty, muffy, tufty, jane, snd mirabelle!” And sail on by.

I used to know a Scottish guy and he’d say stop growling at me when I was giving him a filthy look , so my assumption is that what’s the OP means , but hopefully people didn’t actually believe the woman was growling lol

Their behaviour seems a bit OTT for missing a birthday party. Was it the sort of party with the host paying for very expensive activities for each child?

And it may be worth remembering that the birthday mum is probably unaware of all the mitigating factors, so she’ll not be taking those into account when reacting to the party no show.

But unfortunately the only thing you can do is choose how to respond to their behaviour. Whether that’s ignoring the whole lot of them for now, or continuing with a polite hi/bye on passing. And ignoring it all is easier said than done of course, it’s never nice to be on the receiving end of hostility.