To wonder what this school mum has been saying about me

[Aintgotnomama]

There's a school Mum that I've known for a few years. She's recently been acting strange around me. I suspect I know why and I'll explain shortly. I've also noticed that the other mums who are close with her have also being acting strange with me. They are giving off 'mean girl' vibes and it has me pondering what on earth has been said to them.

We all see eachother a lot due to clubs, parties, school runs etc. I'm happy to say a pleasant hi/bye, keep it simple and will continue to do so.

They have all been incredibly hostile for a while. I've ignored it and focused on my own happenings as I have too many real problems in my life to give this too much head space however, they are really rude and it's getting a bit weird.

I suspect this behaviour has stemmed from me missing the 'main culprits' childs' party. Of course it wasn't a great thing to do. I mixed up my days thinking the party was on a Sunday when it was actually the Saturday. I seen the bday Mum make a fb post, on the Sat and realised my mistake. I instantly messaged the Mum to apologise. Bday Mum didn't respond.

In my defence, I had 5 different kids parties that month, including my own child's to organise. I was 4 weeks into a new career and up to my eyeballs with training. I have a demyelinating chronic disease that flared up and hospitalised me for 2 days that same week requiring some invasive treatment and my head was all over the place trying to juggle everything. A mixed up in days was an honest mistake given the stress I was under.

I then noticed I was deleted on fb by bday Mum and a few others. Fine, we weren't that close so it's understandable. They also left some joint WhatsApp groups.

Then came the more hostile behaviour from bday Mum. 'Growling' acting 'standoffish' going to weird lengths to avoid contact and interactions. The other parents in her circle started behaving the same way towards me.

It's all a bit bizarre really and I won't be acting on it because I'ts all very batshit and have real life problems to deal with.

But aibu to find this all very childish and unnecessary? I really can't understand why grown woman would feel the need to act like this, especially the ones I don't really know and are following what the bday Mum had told them.

She has.

You're 5 pages late

Snarling is still exciting! Does she really do this and within earshot of others?🐕🦁

Yes I'm just working through it!

She must be telling them stories because I have the same thoughts as you.

Indeed!

So…what else could it be?

"In Scottish slang, saying someone is "pure growling" means they are looking someone up and down in a rude, judgmental, or disdainful manner, often giving a dirty look"

Oh is this it?

I'm sorry this happened - they sound pathetic op.

But I'm still a little sorry she wasn't actually growling like a bear. (The joke would definitely have been on her!)

I'd love to know the answer to this too.

You have blatantly ignored the message that OP sent to birthday Mum...I even quoted it in my post that you are replying to.

This happened to me, except I actually turned up to the birthday party on the Sunday, and it had taken place on the Saturday. I apologised to the mum, we had a giggle, she shared she'd once done the same, and we moved on like adults do.
Genuinely, if these people are acting like this over such a non-event, they were clearly looking for a reason to act like this and now feel they have it.
Unless there is a huge backstory, they clearly just don't like you, have very little of actual interest going on in their lives, and you are so much better off without that! By all means, still encourage the friendships between the actual kids, but just fake the pleasantries with the overgrown ones!

Yes, I've done the same. It's no big deal op, and she sounds pathetic.

The bit that would worry me is turning the other mums against you.

Sorry if this has been asked (I'm finishing a task and dipping in and out) but is it worth just asking her/one of the mums outright?

Oh goodness I used to run in grab the kids and out the door asap. Life’s too short for their attention seeking dramas. Got to know so many lovely mums through the children becoming friends with theirs and conversing outside the school playground. Children grow up in the blink of an eye and before you know it the school pickup has become the taxi run where you barely leave the car! and these mums are a long distant memory that you look back and laugh upon.

They're all batshit OP. I'd suggest ignoring and avoiding that lot from now on. They'll grow bored once opportunities to blank or "growl" at you run out.
Have a look towards the back of the playground at pick up. You might find some normal folk keeping out of the way of all the politics to stand with.

I think she means glowering not growling but that's beside the point. Their behaviour is awful.

Which parts of Scotland?! And what do those parts call a dog growl to distinguish it from a glower/scowl?!

Hang on, I'm a Wendy. I don't do that and have never heard of it before.

I can't believe how many people post on a thread without reading a single comment.

West coast. We don’t need to distinguish it when it’s in context to be honest.

The west coast. People don't need extra help to distinguish it from a dog's growl, the context is more than enough.

I’m sorry your post as been derailed by boring comments OP. I’m sure most people can understand what you’re getting at.

If you want these mums to have a valued role in your life, you might need to speak with the key mum and ask her what is going on, how you totally forgot for good reasons etc.

if you don’t (and they don’t sound like great people), I would just try and let it pass. Just ignore them. It’s such a mean response, they sound worthy of ignoring!

My brother is very protective of me - and while we aren’t close, he’d drop everything to defend me against bullying people like this.

He once told me, “F**k them if they can’t take a joke “ when a group of women “friends” were bullying me.

If you hold onto that attitude and keep laughing, you’ll be okay.

Keep laughing - and f**k them if they can’t take a joke.

Sending love ❤️

But a person can growl like a dog so if you say they growled you wouldn’t know if they growled like a dog or did a west coast scowl. I used to live west coast and first I’ve heard this usage.

This is an insane amount of ostracisation over missing a birthday party. Did you express an unpopular political opinion or flirt with one of the husbands?

I really feel for you, OP. 😢

They are being unnecessarily nasty. You made a mistake whilst under a lot of stress. Instead of being a bitch, the birthday mum should have been understanding and made sure your child received some cake and a party bag (if that was a thing). Instead she’s being a cow and trying to turn other mums against you.

God, I can’t say I miss this part of parenting. So glad mine are in senior school and I never have to deal with this kind of crap any more.