AIBU? Hotel room alone?

[mumstheword1x]

I went away last month for 1 night with work, due to planning an event, in Liverpool, I’m from London.

the event week is here, and now I’ve got 2 nights away, Tuesday - Thursday.

I hated the 1 night I did a few weeks ago, I couldn’t sleep, barely slept Infact,took me ages to fall asleep and when I did, I was tossing and turning every 2 hours.

I get scared about someone breaking in or something ridiculous and I just can’t relax, the bed is unusual. I hate it.

I don’t want to wish my life away, but I want it to be 9am Thursday morning and I’m already on the train home.

ugh

AIBU?

Definitely get a doorwedge. Once it's in, you won't have to worry again (says someone who checks under beds in own house when husband is away....)

YANBU. I have travelled for work for 25 years and rarely if ever spent a full week in my own bed til COVID. I now absolutely detest staying away from home, it sends me into a proper grump and I get terribly homesick. It can be the nicest hotel in the world but I would so much rather be at home with my family. I know how you feel. It will soon be done for you. Just try to avoid overnights if you can in future - very early trains and late trains home are your friend.... It's a pain in the arse but better than staying overnight.

Not true, I’ve just been at a premier inn, alone, on the ground floor.

I struggle to sleep when I’m away with work. I try to remember to pack some codeine and have that with a glass of wine and it usually helps me nod off.

That said, up until about a year ago we had to share rooms with colleagues, so getting my own room has definitely made it feel a little easier!

I would be thrilled to have that time to myself! Clean hotel room, a book, a glass of wine and I am a happy woman. No one needs me. No cleaning or cooking to do!

I travel a lot for work and I get what you are saying to a degree, but frankly, this is a dream - you can watch tv, you can read, you can eat in bed, you can walk around in a t-shirt and knickers....

Have fun in the city and tire yourself out. There’s loads to here. Lovely places to eat, beautiful cathedrals etc

My DD is an experienced traveller, and has stayed in hotel rooms, alone, numerous times.
Hopefully where you're staying is a reputable and decent place, but there are many items you can purchase off Amazon that you can easily quickly put to use to protect yourself from any potential break-ins.
Using one or two of those deterrents could very easily put your mind at rest.
You know to be aware of your situation at all times try to avoid being observed going into your hotel room by yourself.
A lot of people on here, including myself, would welcome a room to myself where I could really relax and enjoy an evening, and I hope you have a much better R&R this time OP.

I'm away mon-Fri next week for work. You get used to it!

There’s lots of good advice on here. I travel a lot for work - as others have said - I have a small device that ensures no one can enter, if not just put the chair against the door. That makes me feel secure. I turn the air conditioning off at night as I sleep better. I have considered taking my own pillow - I haven’t yet but hotel pillows always seem huge and I like a flat pillow! Finally, I always pack a self care type kit and have a face mask, hand mask, lovely shower gel and cream etc. So it’s a nice wind down and treat. I might get a glass of wine and so on. Anything different from a night at home so I look forward to it.

Always put the additional chain on the door. I also used to move the desk chair (if there was one) and my suitcase against the door with the idea that it would at least make a big racket if someone did get in. But honestly OP, as someone with anxiety, I promise that the risks are so small and you only hear about instances of this because they are so rare. I used to relish having a night in a hotel after running an event, even if I was back to my room late I’d have a shower/bath, do skincare and just swan around for a bit taking in the fact that I could do whatever I wanted 😆

You could also try putting the TV on low and sleep with that on? Sometimes total silence is the worst when you’re feeling anxious.

It’s a real thing Google ‘first night effect’
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11467056/

“The first night in an unfamiliar environment is marked by reduced sleep quality and changes in sleep architecture”

I often sleep badly the first night in a hotel.

I love getting nights away from the kids but I know what you mean about hotel room doors not feeling safe. Thanks to posters for the tips on locks.

@mumstheword1x

I suspect you actually have worries about your health, (and other things, ‘what if’s?’) so Generalised Anxiety, rather than actual health anxiety (I have X or Y and they are not finding it!)

Either way, it may be worth getting some help for your anxiety problem.

We are all different but this post was, to me, bizarre.

If it’s not a hotel in Gaza, Ukraine or a US slum city you have, almost, no concerns.

without being unkind, I wonder if you are from a very small town or village with little exposure to the real world and normal life.

I would encourage you to enjoy the break from day-to-day and get out from the bubble I’d predict you live in.

Hotels have very high volumes of throughput, and I worked in three different chains over about 15 years, so on a % basis it’s low, but it does happen numerically way more than it should.

@mumstheword1x I stay in hotels alone as my family live 200 miles away. After seeing the news about the 2 incidents at Travelodge last time I stayed at Premier Inn I put the desk chair under the door handle at night. I felt silly doing it but I felt a lot safer going to sleep. I normally make a treat of it though. Snacks and pamper things and a movie downloaded. I'll get a nice bath and then on goes the facemask and foot mask and whatever and it's great.

Take a hayfever tablet to knock yourself out ? A piriton works wonders for me

Plus recording of snoring to make it seem like home

If it’s the Adelphi feign sickness and leave now

I love hotel stays always sleep well

I’ve never had an incident but I travel a lot for work and do all of this. I worked in a hostel once and that was a bit dicey.

I also check cupboards and under the bed each time I enter the room as my friend who is cabin crew told me a tale that stuck with me 😳

I hate when the hotel door doesn’t have a double lock. Or a chain. It makes me really unsettled and have a really bad night. I have thought about buying a wedge but do worry about fire safety.

Bet men never get these worries, sigh.

I don’t think the Adelphi is a 4 star. That was a great reality programme though back in the day

dont deadlock yourself in op, put something noisy like a suitcase or a chair behind the door and try to relax

I’ve stayed there.
It’s horrific.

Try some kind of herbal sleeping tablets.

Or CBD oil.or CBD gummies will really help.you relax and sleep.well.

Holland and Barrett do a good range.

Pleasant dreams.😴