AIBU? Hotel room alone?

[mumstheword1x]

I went away last month for 1 night with work, due to planning an event, in Liverpool, I’m from London.

the event week is here, and now I’ve got 2 nights away, Tuesday - Thursday.

I hated the 1 night I did a few weeks ago, I couldn’t sleep, barely slept Infact,took me ages to fall asleep and when I did, I was tossing and turning every 2 hours.

I get scared about someone breaking in or something ridiculous and I just can’t relax, the bed is unusual. I hate it.

I don’t want to wish my life away, but I want it to be 9am Thursday morning and I’m already on the train home.

ugh

AIBU?

Eh? It’s not the 1930s and I’m sure pjs or your actual clothes thrown on, would suffice

If you've ever heard a hotel fire alarm go off - there's no way you can sleep through it, they're incredibly loud (I am deaf, and it was traumatic to wake up from a deep sleep to that!). Please don't wedge the door, you are putting yourself at risk.

I stay away from home every month with work, so I am struggling to see why it's a problem, but then I live alone anyway ... it's much less likely that someone will try and break into your room on a brightly-lit corridor, probably covered by CCTV, where you have a phone by the bed, than anywhere else.

I always take some 'home comforts' - my own teabags because the ones they provide aren't always good; a mini hot-water bottle in winter, a snuggly scarf to wrap round my shoulders while reading, good book, chocolate, iPad so I can watch iPlayer or Netflix. It's absolute bliss after a long working day to shut the door, not have to talk to clients or colleagues any more, and snuggle down in peace and quiet.

ive stayed all over the world i(ncluding countres like Iran, Syria and Egypt) on my own and no one ever got past my trusty door wedge. Ive had men tapping on my door late at night and just ignored them or threatened to call the police. They disappeared quickly then because they dont want the police coming in these countries. They are not like the British police. Now you can get all kinds of more sophisticated devices on Amazon.

I love staying away in hotels for work or pleasure. Enjoy the change of routine so don’t share the anxiety as such.

the travelodge safety issues have made me a little wary though so I can kind of understand.

how nice is the hotel is there a spa or facilities you can use in the evening? I would try and occupy the evening & tire myself out rather than sit in the room to alleviate some of the anxiety.

For the work event, are there others staying? Or colleagues that might want to do something/give you company.

take a door wedge though if you do have concerns but usually hotels nowadays need you to key though doors to access the room corridors/lifts etc

Yeah, that was probably on purpose. It's very easy to grab your own clothes from the room you're in, even if you vacate first and put them on later.
I bet everyone had their phone with them, including your naked friend.

Yeah, that was probably on purpose. It's very easy to grab your own clothes from the room you're in, even if you vacate first and put them on later.
I bet everyone had their phone with them, including your naked friend.

I have stayed alone a number of times in hotel rooms and never much worried about it, but since the incident of a woman getting sexually assaulted in her hotel room because the man got hold of a key from reception then I really worry. It’s so easy to access someone’s room. Lots of helpful tips here.

The way you've worded that sounds almost mocking....

Im the same OP. I dont sleep that well in hotels.

I've had a few bad experiences in hotels.

Male staff bursting into my room. One walked into my room while I was in bed.

Old male receptionists chatting me up, bringing me up to show me my room and staying in my bedroom longer than needed. Making me feel uncomfortable.

One time I stayed in a hotel that had a glass panel over the door. At night i saw a camera flash at this glass panel. I went to look at the online reviews in detail and i found a negative review saying "male hotel staff took photos of me through the door".

Then theres the times ive heard people have noisy sex for hours, people argue etc

What annoys me about some hotels is i just want to get the key card at reception and go.

I have had male receptionists spend ages chatting to me, asking me why im visiting, have i been before etc.

When i saw them not ask the male customer in front of me, any of those questions

I was terrified when in halls for the first time. Slept the two first terms with the chair up against the door.

DO NOT get a wedge if there's a fire you could be trapped and it would prevent emergency services getting in.

I'd recommend the chair in front of the door and buying yourself a rape alarm.

You could also ask for a room close to reception for extra comfort.

As others have suggested you need to feel safe but also be safe. Stopping entry into the room completely with a wedge is dangerous. The chair would slow someone down and make a noise to wake you but emergency services could get in and you can get yourself out if necessary.

As to sleeping if I'm struggling i pop the TV on low and just try to relax and close my eyes in the hope I drift off. I also try to tire myself out as much as possible.

Good luck

Honestly love it myself. Little break away. I have a set routine every few months, always have a hotel with a gym (tire yourself out a bit), no alcohol. I try to do a thing the first night, and second night is all out pamper night. Hair mask, foot mask, face mask, and I take my iPad so I can watch something of my own choice.

according to mn most people sleeps with their arses hanging out and have to air their bits. No one wears pjs

Don't worry the interest in you completely stops when you hit about 40.

The safety aspect wouldn't bother me at all, however, I'm very set in my ways about bedtime routines and hate sleeping away from home.
If you're anxious, I recommend some cooling pad to the back of the neck.
You can buy them in the chemists. I think they're supposed to help with migraines but obviously can be used for other things.

Hotel bedrooms are always too bloody hot!
It really pisses me off when you cannot open the windows.

Heat increases anxiety.

It's not about safety for me. It's about not being in my own bed and the familiarity of it.

I suspect it's similar to people not being able to poo in unfamiliar places, though thankfully I've never had this.

I could have armed guards outside the door. Makes no difference.

Reminds me of the time I lived in halls when a student.
The vast majority of people living there were female.
I slept naked.
One night at about 3am the fire alarm went off. We all gathered in a hall.
All the other girls had frilly nighties and or pyjamas on.
I had the jumper and jeans I wore the night before.

They were like, why are you dressed?
I made sure my dressing gown got took out of the wardrobe after that and put next to the bed!

When i go to Liverpool for gigs at the Arena i always stay at the Leonardo (used to be Jurys Inn)on Albert Dock by myself. I have never had any trouble, desk staff are wonderful and i love just chilling with a hot chocolate before bed! Always felt safe.

Same.

i don’t travel for work now but i used to love it.

get a room not on the ground floor, deadlock the door and stop thinking about it. Posting here and seeking the confirmation of similarity over anxious people is not going to help.

I go away fairly regularly and love a solo night away - I have a bath & watch all the programmes DH hates 😁

I do find it harder to go to sleep without DH but I use the headspace app and put on a wind down to sleep relaxation audio and that normally sets me up. Might be worth a try?

So are you (presumably), yet you sound emotionally and socially immature.

I’m used to it now. I’ve been single for 2 and a half years. I’ve been to Athens on my own, it was brilliant! The holiday apartment I rented was very secure and the bed was comfy, I slept well. I’ve stayed in London several times alone for work. On Saturday I stayed in London to see a west end show and I was fine. I think I’m used to it now, and it definitely has its advantages. Plus, I snore, so there’s no irritable partner whinging in the morning!

I think it’s immature to be this terrified of travelling alone to be honest

I travel a lot for work, personally I love a hotel room But, I still need to consider my safety. I always ask for 2 key cards at check-in as it looks like I'm not alone and i use a hotel door lock that prevents anyone else opening it.

Not sure why posters are questioning you, with the recent news around Travel Lodge, safety is an issue and tbh always has been.

I did read recently about the "first night effect" where many people struggle to sleep the first night in a new bed. So maybe you'll be fine the second night.