AIBU? Hotel room alone?

[mumstheword1x]

I went away last month for 1 night with work, due to planning an event, in Liverpool, I’m from London.

the event week is here, and now I’ve got 2 nights away, Tuesday - Thursday.

I hated the 1 night I did a few weeks ago, I couldn’t sleep, barely slept Infact,took me ages to fall asleep and when I did, I was tossing and turning every 2 hours.

I get scared about someone breaking in or something ridiculous and I just can’t relax, the bed is unusual. I hate it.

I don’t want to wish my life away, but I want it to be 9am Thursday morning and I’m already on the train home.

ugh

AIBU?

I'm with you OP, I stay away from home sometimes because I live in the middle of nowhere, but I don't sleep. Comfy bed, perfect temperature, but I just don't!

Try those cooling pads I mentioned. I'm not making this up, they have been shown to help anxiety when placed behind the neck. I saw them today in the chemist, they're meant for migraine relief but have other uses, they're less than a fiver and not hard to pack.
I feel for you. I'm not scared about anybody breaking in I do, however, hate sleeping away from home.
I'm lucky to have a few hours.

Especially hotel rooms where it's always so hot.

I’d be concerned that wedging the door would mean the fire brigade couldn’t get in if there was a fire. That would worry me more than an intruder to be honest.

I’m not an anxious person, when I was working travelled quite a bit and did mostly one night in hotels, sometimes 2 and sometimes 3 nights.

the first and only nights I never slept well. Some cities bizarrely less well than others. Helsinki particularly badly as I always wake up at 6am which is equivalent to 4am uk.

what’s doubly annoying is that my DP snores, so theoretically I should sleep better… 🤷🏻‍♀️

that message is mostly to the sniffy posters sneering about “not being well travelled” it’s not a competition

@mumstheword1x if it’s anxiety, get a room door lock, maybe invest in some herbal sleeping pills or melatonin if you can get it.

get Amazon to deliver something like this:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/DoorJammer-DJ3-Portable-Security-Protection/dp/B0GS6PDXP7/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.im7yRl8gMi0hf7j1KAVNs2g-ioJLDdLkL3XSwEXjRKBELDNj7-ePyWoc6BhVC-Kj8Zz-v0ByMJhELRPQbPC_CK4CcfH442EI3pTHOh7gGo8b4zWnA-LbIb1NHfuo_UQPNtshj22QTMlxjdeSlW29YLxcRpTCSaxIyQROInSpaVj6xRLpncnzjC45u3QMqVPfy_XxYtOmA7S60YP9sueVKQ.YlijoFvIqhjUxRdpPHDvEKy6MrQ-jEBZIFl9uotZGPE&dib_tag=se&keywords=door%2Bstopper%2Bhotel&qid=1778520217&sr=8-3&th=1&psc=1

YANBU, I'm the same. Hate an empty house when at home too 😒

Don't beat yourself up, i travelled alot for work & I was the same. Are you friendly enough with a colleague that you could explain your anxiety to & maybe have a connecting room. Also look at some of the safety items you can buy to secure your door, once you are in the room for the night. All this will hopefully make you less anxious.

If it gets too bad could you explain it to your HR department and stop travelling for work?.

Not sleeping and tossing and turning on night 1 sounds totally normal. I just tell myself that whatever happens with the sleep, I will cope the next day. Then it’s more likely I’ll sleep better day 2. It’s also normal to be unsettled somewhere new.

Well apparently not for one of the posters whose male friend just went out stark naked!
I think it's good advice for people who sleep naked to take a dressing gown. Personally, I always wear something to sleep and I wouldn't necessarily have space in my bag for a dressing gown if only going for a short trip.

"It's not about safety for me. It's about not being in my own bed and the familiarity of it."

Me too. Can't sleep the first night anywhere, but in any case just being away with work and having an event going on is enough to mean I'll barely sleep.
I hadn't considered I was worried about safety, but it is true that I don't like it if I can't see the door of the room.

OP I have solo travelled in hotels around the world from Greenland to Singapore and I can assure you nothing like this has ever happened to me. Your response to a couple of nights in Liverpool is absolutely disproportionate, but you know that, anxiety isn't logical. You will be fine though.

OMG. Do you travel everywhere by car then? I can't imagine taking multiple pillows with me on top of personal affairs plus everything I need for work.

Nope - I stick them in my suitcase. They squash down loads! 🤣

Always ask for a first floor (or above) room.

dead bold the door

I worry in hotel rooms and always push a chair under the door handle.

Do you have any choice in where you stay? I much prefer smaller places - they feel safer to me.

Alright bloody hell 😂 I'm dying laughing at this reply she must be shitting herself more after this 😂🤦🏼‍♀️.

Ok I'm in Liverpool and from Liverpool, where about are you staying? In town? There is risk everywhere in life, even in your own home.

Location depending get some nice food, there is loads of places and have a nice bath and relax, and maybe look at what shows are on the empire for one of the nights to give you something to do

I often stay in hotels with work, I bloody love it!

Blimey, I love a solo hotel room, especially in London.

You're being ridiculously paranoid, OP, it really sounds like you need some sort of therapy.....

I hate hotels too OP. Too much involuntary travel. I take my own bedding - a very lightweight duvet and my own pillow - because hotels seem to love stifling you with winter duvets and an unfamiliar pillow never feels right!

I stock up on really nice food and drink so that I don't have to leave my room, and sometimes take a yoga mat that remains rolled in the corner but is there for the glorious day when I actually feel like using it 🤣

One night away is always far more difficult than several in a row I find. I have made it clear to my boss that I don't want overnight stays on the very few occasions I have to travel a distance. Aged relatives is the reason I have used though to be honest is an excuse.

My top tip is when you are going to sleep is to listen a slightly boring podcast. It drowns out your any spiralling / catastrophising thoughts . I find Tim Harford is excellent for this. (sorry, Tim)

I'm sorry you're feeling anxious about this trip. But honestly, the sort of situation you quoted is extremely rare. I've stayed in dozens and dozens of hotels across three continents and never experienced anything dangerous. I have on a couple of occasions been given a key to a room that was already occupied, but these were obviously mistakes, nothing nefarious or ill-intentioned.

You mentioned health anxiety. Is that your main concern, rather than a fear of someone breaking into your room (which is highly unlikely)?

I used to travel a lot for work and I never slept particularly well in hotels. I never spent time in the restaurant or bar. Went straight to my room and ordered room service. If there’s a safety latch on the door I always used it and left my bag near the door so it would bang if opened. I’m very cautious in hotels due to an incident early on in my career. I think security has generally improved since then though.

I think you suffer from more than just "health anxiety" tbf

A friend of mine had a miscarriage in a hotel room, and left behind a whole load of heavily bloodied towels unfortunately.