AIBU? Hotel room alone?

[mumstheword1x]

I went away last month for 1 night with work, due to planning an event, in Liverpool, I’m from London.

the event week is here, and now I’ve got 2 nights away, Tuesday - Thursday.

I hated the 1 night I did a few weeks ago, I couldn’t sleep, barely slept Infact,took me ages to fall asleep and when I did, I was tossing and turning every 2 hours.

I get scared about someone breaking in or something ridiculous and I just can’t relax, the bed is unusual. I hate it.

I don’t want to wish my life away, but I want it to be 9am Thursday morning and I’m already on the train home.

ugh

AIBU?

I do think there is a specific risk, albeit small, associated with in hotels, and I used to be a duty manager so I’m aware of some rare stories that are unsettling, including:

Countless stories of arriving guests being given a key to a room already occupied

A very drunk corporate client pressuring reception staff to give him the room number of a specific female colleague, to the extent that the police were called

Non-residents jumping into a lift last minute with (solo, female) residents to follow them to their floors (in those lifts where you’ve to tap your key to access those floors)

Fire stairs being used to access upper floors

And from the staff perspective: room service staff delivering food, to be greeted by a stark naked man (subsequently barred)

Guest checked out and left printed child pornography material (I was the chambermaid that found it)

Guests closing and locking the door behind staff delivering room service

Once found a bathtub full of heavily bloodied towels. I have no idea what happened.

Hotels with hundreds of guests do have to be really alert to bad actors, and security is really important. When I worked in operations, and this is years ago so systems will have moved on, but the duty handover book which was hand-written up each shift would be full of incidents and ‘ones to watch.’

The thing that makes me the most uncomfortable about hotels, are the male receptionists.

If there is a female recpetionist, she usually just gives me the key and gives me information.

Many of the male receptionists want a chat when i dont want a chat in any way shape or form.
Ive had male receptionists ask me where i am coming from, why i am visting the city, have i been there before. Then some of them insist on showing me the bedroom. They come up and come into the room with me. One of them (small hotel) started telling me about his personal life. They don't treat me professionally. Sometimes they seem to think that i am there to entertain them in their loneliness

Wow this hasn’t made me feel any better

Of course hotels have risks.

Even locking the door from the inside doesnt help.

Remember when that woman locked her hotel door from the inside, and a staff member was still able to open it. He let a strange man in - who said he was the womans partner. And he raped her.

As the poster said, these are very rare incidents. I've stayed alone in loads of hotels for work, and have never once felt remotely threatened or uncomfortable. There will always be extreme stories, as with anything, but try to remember these are very exceptional.

She wrote rare but then she wrote countless

"Countless stories of arriving guests being given a key to a room already occupied"

That's alarming - it's not something I've ever experienced though. Polite conversation at most.

I stayed in one small hotel, in a small town, where the female owner asked me lots of questions which I didn't want to answer, as I didn't want the (sensitive, work-related) reason I was there to be spread around! But most staff couldn't care less.

I'm older, though, so the young male receptionists barely see me at all 😄

I stayed in one hotel (abroad) where the male receptionist insisted on bringing a cup of tea to my room in the evening. I didn't ask for it. The first time , i thought "this is quite a nice service that they do". The second evening he came to my room with the tea and just stood there staring at me. He said "can i come in". I said No. I had to go down to the manager and tell him to tell the guy to stop coming to my room

Take a deep breath and wedge a chair in front of your door with a suitcase on it. And don't accept a drink from anyone you don't know! I also get anxious, but I've stayed on my own all over the world, including some dubious places in Argentina and the US and have been fine.

If you get REALLY anxious, Amazon sell a door wedge that sounds a loud siren if someone tries to open the door. I have one, but have never used it.

I’ve stayed on my own loads of times - nothing to worry about! More chance of someone breaking in at your house! You can’t create scenarios about everything! Presume you’re not well travelled if one night in a hotel in your home country is making you this way!

You’ll be absolutely fine.

I love a hotel room by myself! I travel occasionally for work (used to travel a lot) and it’s my favourite especially if the hotel has a pool. No-one asking me to cook their supper or help with homework, no need to put away washing, load the dishwasher etc, and a big bed all to myself! Lovely.

I travel frequently with one or both of my children for sports competitions and that’s fun but not as relaxing as a work trip and the blissful solitude of 12 hours in a room by myself. If you worry about your room being broken into, I think there are little metal door wedges you can get that stop the door being opened from the outside, but I have never bothered anywhere in the world and have never had a room broken in to.

For the short term, order one of the door-jam devices you can get, Amazon do them. See if that helps you feel more secure.

In the longer term it sounds like you are having issues with anxiety impacting on your life. Can you self fund some time with a psychologist? There are psychologists who specialise in health anxiety.

Nothing to worry about? I have experienced things to worry about in hotels.

Apart from the male staff coming into my room, I'm still mentally scarred from the loud sex sessions that ive heard in hotels.

One of the worst ones was when I heard a man in the next room be dominated by two prostitutes. I heard every word and I heard them talk about payment. Ugh

I always sleep awfully the first night but not through fear I’m same any time I’m away from home

I have to travel for work regularly. I love the time alone, but sleeping somewhere different really throws me. I now take my own pillow (they’re never comfy in hotels) and have a miniaturised kit with my usual shampoo / conditioner, shower gel, etc rather than random ‘travel sized’ items or hotel toiletries which always seem to make my skin dry and hair fuzzy. I also use door security measures as per previous posters. Also agree about having drinks / food / snacks you like.

The thing that makes me the most uncomfortable about hotels, are the male receptionists.

Female receptionists can be at risk. When I was checking in to a Travelodge last year, the receptionist apologised because the system was slow. They were using a back up system or terminal because some drunk men had smashed things up. The female receptionist had had to retreat to the room behind the desk and lock herself in.

I’d love a hotel room to myself! Do you not travel much op?

I absolutely love staying away on my own, whether air b n b/caravan/hotel room and purposely arrange it!

This isn't for everyone, so things you can do to help would be a simple doorstop (or several) wedged under door, have a rape alarm under your pillow, put something on your handle and a plate under so it makes a noise.

Take your pillows with you @mumstheword1x you’ll sleep much better for it. Mine go all over the place with me!

I spent many years travelling on my own on business. I worked for a global pharmaceutical company and earned an amazing salary with lots of perks but I hated every night I was away from home. Endless flights, airports, trains, taxis and hotels. I never slept well even in the most luxurious hotels. Family and friends thought I was so lucky, and in many ways I was, but I hated the travel and the nights away. I retired 6 years ago at the age of 56. I was able to do this due to squirrelling away huge amounts into a pension so the years of travelling brought some benefits but I don’t miss the airports and hotels any more.

YABU

Google tips for making sure your hotel door is shut & secured. Put a chair up against the door, whatever. Your level of fear is not reasonable or even rational.

I am constantly amazed at the very limited lives people live and the way they let irrational fears limit them.

Op are you scared because it’s Liverpool or the anxiety you suffer?

I used to stay in hotels 2/3 nights per week.
Probably already been stated- get a doorstop, if you don’t have one or time to get one, put your case by your door or a towel so if(and it won’t) the door tries to open, the towel/suitcase will create drag/friction making it harder. Ask to be on the first floor or above- not the ground floor (as there are so many of you request before you get there). I can’t help you sleep, that is something you have to do yourself, try cognitive dissonance. I used to have a cuddly toy as my comforter when I went away, even as a grown arse adult- I wasn’t the only one! Ear plugs are good also. Good luck. It really isn’t that bad.

I usually sleep very poorly for the first night or two at the hotels, no idea why. Wasn't always like that, seems to have started after having kids or maybe coincided with entering late 30s