AIBU? Hotel room alone?

[mumstheword1x]

I went away last month for 1 night with work, due to planning an event, in Liverpool, I’m from London.

the event week is here, and now I’ve got 2 nights away, Tuesday - Thursday.

I hated the 1 night I did a few weeks ago, I couldn’t sleep, barely slept Infact,took me ages to fall asleep and when I did, I was tossing and turning every 2 hours.

I get scared about someone breaking in or something ridiculous and I just can’t relax, the bed is unusual. I hate it.

I don’t want to wish my life away, but I want it to be 9am Thursday morning and I’m already on the train home.

ugh

AIBU?

Roll up a towel and wedge it up against the door. Or buy a door wedge. Not difficult.

I'm spending the odd night like this and bought a door jammer. Played with it at home first. That’s in addition to having a large dog in the room.

Have people on this thread not been following the news?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c5yjdvg5rydo

There's also such a thing as First Night Effect. It's a natural biological mechanism, a safety feature of the human.brain in unfamiliar surroundings. Subsequent nights, after familiarising yourself with the room, are usually better. Though this is no help if you often have to spend a single night in a place you don't know, obviously.

Is this thread for real? Are there genuinely so many adult women incapable of sleeping one night alone? It's honestly a bit "pick me" to have that level of paranoia and self-importance to assume that someone is just waiting to break into your hotel room. Statistically, it's insanely unlikely. Hotel room doors are identical from the outside. How would anyone even know (or care) who's inside?

The vast majority of hotel assaults come from people who know each other, eg inviting strangers from a night out into your room or colleagues who know exactly which room you're in. There are a few sensible rules that make sense to follow:

1. Don't let any male hotel workers or guests see you enter your room as a very obvious solo female traveller (one suitcase, one handbag etc).

2. Don't let the front desk say your room number out loud within earshot of other guests

3. Don't tell male colleagues, clients or anyone from a large group where you room is, and definitely don't let them meet you by your door. Meet everyone downstairs on the lobby

In every single hotel I've been to in the past 10 years, all doors had an extra physical lock from the inside (like a bathroom lock). I cannot imagine how someone is just supposed to break it open when you're inside?!

What about some magnesium before you go to bed. Lower your anxeies and a slight sedative effect.

YANBU. I'm the same. Hate travelling for work, I don't get any sleep and I feel very stressed throughout. Leave your phone, get a good novel and take a night nurse 10 hours before you need to wake up. I hope you manage to get some rest.

I travelled for work over many years. I honestly never thought about safety as I didn't feel unsafe in my hotel rooms, just locked the door and wallowed in peace and quiet alone at last!

It wasn't until I read all the scary stuff on MN recently that I feel I might need a door wedge or other space age locking mechanism in future if I ever go it alone again. 😳

Are you in a decent hotel or somewhere that generally feels insecure. I loved travelling with work and having a night alone in a big bed. Take some ear plugs and an eye mask if air con or lights keep you awake?

I always take a hard rubber door wedge with me if I'm staying somewhere alone, and my own pillow- it really helps.

Do you think maybe it’s anxiety about the event?

Or are you generally very scared and find it hard to settle when you sleep in a hotel alone?

As someone who has traveled to different countries alone for personal and professional reasons, your reaction does seem a bit much BUT I appreciate we are all different and there may be extenuating circumstances.

Nasty maybe, possibly realistic though.

Neither of you know enough about OP's life in order to judge it boring. It's perfectly possible to live an interesting life without staying in hotels. And I say that as someone who travels regularly for work.

When I was working it was very common to have to spend time away from home, sometimes with a group of people (on the same course or meeting) or on my own (on attachment to other offices).
Have to say that I never once felt uneasy in any shape or form, whether that be having dinner in the restaurant, a drink at the bar, breakfast or during the night itself.
Is it the recent news items that have unsettled you?

I’ve been in two hotels when the fire alarms went off in the middle of the night. I was shocked at how few people actually got up and out of their room to at least check there wasn’t a fire. The next day I was talking to people and only one other person had woken up to the alarm at the first hotel, the second was around 11pm so more people were still awake.

So I wouldn’t put money on people hearing the fire alarm, especially with ear plugs!

I recently bought one of these for additional security. Very effective.
https://amzn.eu/d/062H3Hq3

What is it that you don't like? I can't relate as I love a night in a hotel!

I don’t sleep terribly well if not in my own bed but as others have said, 2nd night is always better.

This is a very unkind comment. OP did not enjoy the stay because she was on her own in a hotel room.
Not everyone gets to travel on their own for work and stay in various hotel rooms all over the world to build up on this kind of experience.
OP, as much as I love being at home because I like the house and enjoy being with my family in the same place, I do actually like the travelling for work part. Because I get a bed all to myself, there’s none to ask me for anything, I don’t need to do anything for anyone and can just have a bit of time to myself. Although I often end up working on my laptop in bed.
I actually jumped up and down on the bed on a few occasions when I discovered I had an amazing room all to myself.
Obviously not the done thing and nobody knows about it in real life because it sounds (well, it is) childish. In the way that I love running up the stairs but can’t do it in public in real life because I’m supposed to look all grown up, measured, professional and all that sort of nonsense.
Next time you go remember to take a book and face mask with you.

I’ve had several fire alarms in hotels because of people smoking, the whole room shakes and the sound is shocking. People don’t leave their rooms because they think it’s a false alarm. This isn’t a good thing

please don’t put a wedge under your door, that’s really dangerous. I put my suitcase or a chair in front of the door instead

staying in hotels is really hard as it’s a new environment and the stress of travelling for work. Grab some things from supermarket and get the room set up with some familiar treats and do just try to relax

A funny one: Male I knew, very gregarious and heavy drinker, staying 2 nights in a very upmarket hotel. Apparently he normally slept naked. The fire alarm went off around 2am, he jumped up and ran out of his room into the garden. It was an autumn night and not very warm. He was the only guest without any clothing on and they were outside for 2 hours! Garden had automatic lighting.

I never sleep well the first night in a hotel, the next is much better. I just anticipate it, dont lie there trying to sleep, relax, listen to a podcast , tell yourself you dont have to be asleep to be resting, I usually drop off but even if I dont I am rested.

Friend of mine who was a teacher, now retired, said one of the most useful pieces of advice given to her when she was at the start of her career was from an older woman teacher - if you go on a residential, make sure you have a dressing gown that covers you completely, for when the fire alarm goes off in the middle of the night.

Nowadays you'd probably also have them taking photos of Miss in her nightie, with the phones they're not supposed to have.

Same applies when staying in a hotel - substantial dressing gown, or a long coat ready to grab.

I love a hotel stay on my own!

They would go out of business if hotels were so dangerous! Maybe don’t go to a really cheap one but a half decent hotel will be very safe.

I never sleep as well as I do in hotel rooms. All your baggage is literally gone. It’s just you and the bed.

if you’re literally scared about your safety get a door stopper. Otherwise, if you’re still so anxious perhaps try and work out why and seek some help.