Is it ok for men to be in the ladies loos if they need to assist a disabled wife?

[someoneelsesshoes]

Not sure if I’m unreasonable to have felt a bit strange about this.

I went to the ladies toilets in a garden centre and there was a man standing by the sinks. I immediately went to walk out as I thought I’ve mistakenly gone into the men’s. He then said sorry and said he was waiting for his wife. He was next to a zimmer frame which I assume was his wife’s.

I felt really strange about this but went into the loo as usual. I understand maybe his wife really needed help to get on/off the loo so dismissed it. She was still in the stall when I left. But when I left the loo I checked the disabled and it was open and ready to use (though maybe it was occupied when she needed it and it was an emergency).

I haven’t come across this before so not sure if we make this concession for male carers. I know disabled people need to be supported and maybe he’s the only one who can help her.

I wouldn't give a single iota of a fuck about this. Unless you were planning on dropping your pants and peeing right there by the sinks then surely it wouldn't make any difference to you?

I think you'd be unreasonable if there was no other option, but there was, so you're not.

Wouldn’t bother me at all, neither would a dad taking his young daughter in the female toilets. Most experiences the guy will shout and ask if it’s ok to come in.

Obv the disabled loo makes the most sense but if its busy you are desperate needs must

It's not ideal but yes perhaps the disabled loo was occupied when they arrived and she couldn't wait.

There was a disabled toilet available so they should have used that, not made women feel uncomfortable for no reason.

I’m not sure why I felt weird. I think just an initial shock as I thought I was in the Gents. I suppose it was one of those moments where your brain feels something is out of place/unexpected so it takes you time to adjust to what’s going on!

Were there disabled facilities available?

I’ve had to go into the ladies when the disabled is busy and I really need the loo.

I’m in a wheelchair and it’s not always easy to manoeuvre. I do try to ask people who are female for help but of only a male was with me I’d get him to help,

needs must

And if it wasn't available when they tried to use it?

Wouldn't bother me. Disabled toilet was probably in use (cynical me thinks probably by someone who isn't disabled) and when you've got to go, you've got to go. Especially if you're a bit slower getting around on a frame.

There was but not sure if it as occupied when they arrived

How do you know it wasnt occupied and the woman was desperate?
Im sure the poor man didnt want to be in the ladies getting filthy looks.

And if it was occupied should the lady have just pissed herself to save any women the horror of a man doing nothing more than standing near some sinks waiting to help his wife get off the toilet?

Why would an adult male not take his child to the men’s toilets?

How on earth do you know the disabled toilet was available when she needed it?

No he needs to assist in the disabled toilets

As per usual the cool girls don’t see anything at all wrong with men being in women’s toilets. 🙄

Needs must . I bet the man didn’t want to be stood in the ladies anymore than you wanted to see him there !
wouldn’t have bothered me .

It’s not ideal but if it’s that or her have an accident then it’s a no brainer.

sadly disabled toilet facilities are lacking in many places and are abused by people who don’t need to use them.

Exactly, I know generally we don't want men in the women's toilet, but how about a bit of compassion for the disabled woman.

None of us know what her disability was and it could be something that could require her to use the toilet a soon as possible and not wait for the disabled toilet to become available.

I think it’s fine, though I might expect them to use the disabled loo.

Indeed. I found myself unexpectedly pleased to see a dad coming out of the men's public toilets with his toddler daughter a couple of days ago.

No it's not ok.

I think its fine its not like he was hanging around in there for no reason!

If a disabled toilet was available and actually accessible, most people would choose this option.

Presuming it was not, a caregiver needs to assist in the facility of the disabled person.

It’s a toilet, not a changing room. there is a difference.