Vile remark at meeting - what to do?

[bagpuss90]

I’m on the committee of a local group - i was at a meeting on Thursday evening and the chair made what I’d regard as a vile remark. She referred to an individual (who she was going to approach to help with something ) as having “a face like an armpit” . She actually said “you know who I mean - the one with a face like an armpit. Everyone looked quite shocked - it was about 5 mins before the meeting wound up. But I’m still cross with myself for not walking out. Im not good if I’m put on the spot. My dilemma is what do I do ? I honestly hate stuff like that- it’s vile- it’s unkind. My DP reckons she made herself look so awful that no further action is needed. I’m tempted to resign, but I think she should go, She’s known for being very outspoken but this in my opinion crossed a line . I’ve not spoken to anyone else on the committee about it. Am I over reacting?

I’m sorry, but that made me laugh. It’s a committe, is it volunteers? If so, let it go, you’re going to have people say stuff and as things go, that’s rather tame and amusing.

It wasn’t nice but I wouldn’t say it warrants reporting (to who?).

If you want to quit, go ahead.

So she was going to approach this woman she'd just insulted in a meeting, and ask her to help with something? Would that be paid help or voluntary?

She sounds awful.

yeah I agree if you want ro resign as she said someone had a face like an armpit then I’d crack on.

Pack it in. You don’t need to virtue signal by leaving/ flouncing off. Consider it a lesson to follow if it happens again.

Why is that vile ? I have heard people described as having a face like a slapped arse. Is that similar

I think perhaps you should resign if you get upset about things like this

I might have laughed too because i'm a terrible person. It's an unpleasant comment - the correct approach would be to say "can we please avoid personal remarks" at the time she said it. It won't be a resigning offence unless you can persuade all the other committee members that they were equally offended and have lost confidence in her.

I wouldn’t take much notice as I don’t even know what it’s meant to mean.

@bagpuss90 Was there someone, the secretary perhaps, taking minutes? If so, was the comment officially noted? Because if it was, she’s done all the hard work for you - everyone is going to be aware of it, & natural justice might take its course.

Did you know who she meant?

What on earth does it mean? I’m completely intrigued.

Also that!

*adds ‘face like an armpit’ into my vocabulary

Similar. And similarly rude. Personal remarks are rude.

if it was minuted I would enjoy that so much. Please say it was minuted OP.

Face like a roofer’s knee is how I usually put it

What does that refer to? An armpit is…well, an armpit? I don’t understand how someone’s face can look like one or how it’s supposed to suggest someone is ugly?

@LiviaDrusillaAugusta I thought face like a slapped arse meant someone looked miserable or angry, whereas ‘face like an armpit’ sounds like it’s suggesting the person is unattractive, although I can’t really understand how it’s supposed to mean that!

That’s hilarious.

Over 40 years ago, at my first job I remember the boss describing one of his employees as having a face like a bag of spanners.

Is she much older and doesn’t know you should make personal remarks about people?

Oh come ON @bagpuss90

If you want to complain you do it at the time.

Mostly I'd be confused - 'face like an armpit' - does it mean hairy, like someone with a beard?

Is it just a term that means ugly, which of course is entirely subjective.

It's not a very helpful descriptor, that's for sure.

That kind of comment wouldn't get minuted. Minutes are usually a general note of the overall points discussed, not a verbatim record.

Report a silly comment ? To who? Why? Because you found it offensive. I think thats funny.
You do seem a little over sensitive. It's a voluntary role reign your neck in

Don’t resign that a massive overreaction. She doesn’t need to resign either. For this committee presumably there’s someone who is somehow in charge or responsible, and also terms/policies for members? If so, then ask the person in charge to remind everyone before the start of the next meeting that x policy states that committee members must treat everyone with respect or whatever the wording is.

If this committee isn’t that formal, then just pull her up on it immediately if she doesn’t anything similar again.