AIBU to make DS16 reports sexual messages sent from his phone?

[BusyJoker]

DS (year 12) has been tutoring a year 9 girl for about a year. He told me that someone stole his phone without his knowledge during sixth form today and started mass sending sexual messages to all the girls in his contacts on snapchat. One of the people that was messaged is the year 9 girl DS is tutoring saying something along the lines of "Do you want to hook up I'm horny." DS was friends with the person before the incident and the person did it as a "joke". I encouraged DS to inform his school about this situation but he is refusing to do so as he doesn't want to be seen as a snitch by others and is saying his friend did a joke that crossed the line. What should I do? What action will the sixth form take against the pupil likely if informed?

He needs to get ahead of it because if I was the parent of that year 9 kid I would be at reception wanting to speak to the head at 8am tomorrow.

He does realise that his "friend" committed a crime on his phone? Sexual harassment is a crime. And he's going to be the one in trouble because they were sent from his phone.

Are the girls parents aware of this message?

As a mother of girls I’d be reporting this to the police. Your son needs a password in his phone and better judgement of friends

No idea, he just showed the messages and asked for advice. We don't know the parents, he advertised himself online and arranged the tutoring by himself.

If he doesn’t want to risk not being able to sit his exams and possible police involvement he needs to be emailing his head of year now and meeting with them first thing tomorrow to explain!

he also needs passwords on his phone

Best case scenario - he’s lost an income stream. Worse case scenario - he’s charged with sexual abuse of a child.

What does he think is the best course of action now?

I am telling him to do exactly that. He is saying he doesn't want to snitch on his friend and get him into major trouble. I don't want to go on his behalf so I'm stuck on what I should do.

God it's not snitching . It's reporting a crime. The other child could ruin his future if he doesn't get ahead of it.

Oh I didn't realise the tutoring was independent from school.

In that case I expect you'll be receiving a visit from the police.

Does your DS understand the seriousness of what has happened?
If he regards it as " a joke" then it would appear he doesnt.

Both he and his friend who did this need to realise this is not funny and it is criminal.

If your DS wants to take responsibility for his friends behaviour he is being extremely foolish

I think on this one you need to say to him “if you don’t I will” it’s better coming from him but either way you need to get ahead of it before the shit hits the fan.

He might have that choice taken away from him if this gets reported by the girls parents. He needs to get a step ahead.

Snitch or potential criminal record he needs to decide

Or maybe he did send it himself and he’s now bottled it and is using the ‘friend did it’ to cover up…

You’ve got to be joking. This is seriously dangerous for your son - you need to report this to the police. You’re both being very laid back about this.

It's certainly a significant safeguarding issue but how is it a criminal matter?

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5a7586bd40f0b6360e474cab/Fact_sheet_-_Offence_of_sexual_communication_with_a_child.pdf

It’s too serious to sit in the fence it needs doing now !!!!!

echoing others if one of those girls shows it to a parent expect the police

Both of them are under 18 and I'm pretty sure the law focuses on adults exploiting under 18s. This doesn't make the situation any less serious of course but I am just weighing whether police involvement is necessary in this situation.

You need to report to the school for him. Obviously.

Take whatever action you like, I’d be letting the police know.

I’m afraid this was my first thought.

Sending sexual content to a minor is a crime.

Sending messages that are indecent, grossly offensive, or threatening is a criminal offence under the Malicious Communications Act 1988 and Communications Act 2003.

In all UK nations, part 67 of the Serious Crime Act 2015 makes it a criminal offence to engage in sexual communication with a child (under 16). This includes communication that relates to sexual activity and communication for the purpose of obtaining sexual gratification (for example, grooming for sexual abuse).

My first thought was also that he sent these. Did someone REALLY steal his phone and it truly had no password??

It’s not up to you though. Her parents will report to the police and they’ll decide whether the fact that he is tutoring her, she is 3 years younger and they’re not in a relationship constitutes an abusive of power given he’s in a position of responsibility. But you do you.