AIBU to make DS16 reports sexual messages sent from his phone?

[BusyJoker]

DS (year 12) has been tutoring a year 9 girl for about a year. He told me that someone stole his phone without his knowledge during sixth form today and started mass sending sexual messages to all the girls in his contacts on snapchat. One of the people that was messaged is the year 9 girl DS is tutoring saying something along the lines of "Do you want to hook up I'm horny." DS was friends with the person before the incident and the person did it as a "joke". I encouraged DS to inform his school about this situation but he is refusing to do so as he doesn't want to be seen as a snitch by others and is saying his friend did a joke that crossed the line. What should I do? What action will the sixth form take against the pupil likely if informed?

And the (I presume boy mums) falling over themselves to minimise. And even blaming the girls parents for hiring him in the first place 🙄.

boy mums - generalising much?

I have one of each and know perfectly well what the correct response should be. Drives me mad when people think they’re superior because they have only daughters.

You may be perfectly balanced but it’s easy to see on here the subsect of boy mums the PP is referring to. The ones with their little princes, the ones they are all for the rights of women until their son fucks up. The ones who describe their criminal offspring as not bad lads, and who blame everyone other than their precious little boy,

Yes most are. That’s great. But some aren’t. Like this op. And the parents of the small group of same age as ops son boys at my DDs school who lord around saying obscene and degrading things to the girls and get away with it. So this op touched a nerve.

Head of 6th was in tears hearing what the girls were putting up with. But when she tried to expel / suspend the boy parents went mad. So nothing has been done really. They play a particular sport and are sponsored to do so so that makes it ok it seems 🙄. You couldn’t make it up honestly.

You can’t be this dense? He’s above the age of consent and he’s sent this to a child in year 9 who is what, 14?

Sounds like that wanker who raped a woman but got away with it because he was a good sportsman. It’s so fucking depressing. This is why some men turn out like they do - they learn early on that they can get away with treating women like shit. How ironic that they often learn this from their mothers (I deliberately said mothers because it appears they are the ones desperate to avoid blame being put on their little princes).

Some of the shit I have seen on here makes me despair for girls growing up today

Exactly. Looks like mummy will ensure he feels better about the whole thing by making excuses for him

I want to be reassuring but I can’t.

That said the majority of the boys at DDs school (boys state school girls in 6th form) are lovely lads and a credit to their mothers. And many of the boys gave witness statements in support of the girls against this group.

At least there is some hope. And I know young men in real life who genuinely are good lads who will speak up if they hear something untoward.

It just boggles the mind that women are protecting their sons with this minimising shit.

He’s tutoring her and in a position of power as far as the law in concerned. Your son needs the fear of god put into him - by YOU his PARENT!!! Neither of you are taking it seriously! Also have you or your son even considered the impact this could be having on the girl? It’s basically like a teacher sexting a pupil 🙄 I’d be very disgusted at my son protecting his “friend” rather than doing the right thing

You might want to check but he’s likely covered by sexual offences act 2003 that makes it against the law for anyone “in a position of trust” to have any sort of sexual relationships with their pupil. He needs to stop tutoring immediately if he’s this thick.

TBF possibly OP has not been back because the situation has blown up.

I did not think the words reported rose to the level of official action by the police, but if the lad was reported I would hope for a severe chat in the presence of his parents.

I bet she hasn't been back becuase ds still hasn't told anyone at school and they're both hoping the sticking heads will make it go away. Until the upset 14yr old shows her parents..

He’s got to stop the tutoring immediately, regardless of who sent the message. Primarily for the girl’s sake, of course, but also for his own.

Head in the sand is the worst possible thing.

Yep. See it on here all the time work boy mums. There was a recent thread about a boy mum posting about her adult son feeling 'rejected' because his 9-10 year old cousins didn't want to 'play' with him. 🤢

That was one of the threads that sprang to mind. Also the one where the OP’s son was in jail but apparently he wasn’t a bad lad and just made bad choices and she had heard that someone had had his baby.

Oh and the one complaining that her son had to clean the toilet at work and she wished she could have done it for him.

It’s grim as fuck. The mothers are doing their boys a disservice because they grow up expecting the same indulgence from a partner - hence the threads about useless men.

In the 1980s, I lived in Italy. At the time, there were lots of arrests trials and imprisonment of mafiosi. Accompanying each one were widows in their weeds crying: 'My son is a good boy. He wouldn't hurt a fly. He shouldn't be in the courts snd in prison.', in the face of all the evidence that they were behind countless examples of bribery, corruption and brutal murders. An extreme example of maternal indulgence of sons.

Completely agree. These mothers of these sons turn their sons into over indulged men with an added bonus MIL from hell.
My ex was the same. Her precious boy child do no wrong.

Yeah immature boys !!
They’re 16 not 26 .

@BusyJoker did your son speak to the school ? What did they say ?