Parent gave my child medicine without my consent

[Nanechange20123]

I want to know AIBU

My DD is 10

She went to a sleepover last night (Saturday night to Sunday morning) when I arrived to pick her up I didn't actually speak to the mum because she was on the phone, she waved to me from the other room. When my DD got in the car she said she had an ear ache last night and that the mum gave her some ibuprofen. The mum didn't contact me to ask me if it was OK. The mum has my number so there's no excuse. AIBU to think the mum should of contacted me to ask me if it was OK to give my DD the medicine? I wasn't busy and the mum knew this. I just know if it was the other way round I would of contacted the mum before hand regardless of whether a child told me it was okay or not. I'm fully hoping I am over thinking this.

Of course she should have phoned you. I wouldn't let her go again to this family.

This is mad. Kid needed meds, she was given them…what’s the problem.

if your kid had an allergy then you’d have mentioned it to the mum before letting her stay there, as you didn’t she can safely assume she is fine.

She should’ve have asked you but I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. I’d expect a 10 year old to know what medicines they are not supposed to have. I’d also expect a parent to let me know before hand if there are any allergies etc.

Just tell her to ask you next time.

You don't medicate a child without informing a parent/guardian or without having an agreement upfront.

I would never expect a 10 yo to take responsibility for which medication she can have or not have. It's a parent/guardian decision.

its a mild analgesia?
would you ask for paracetamol?

yes she should have phoned you, but at the same time if you are leaving your child in the care of someone. you should make them aware of what you feel is or is not acceptable. the mum has obviously done this with the best intention and wanted to make sure your daughter was ok, she has not done it to undermine you.

Bit shitty to not educate your own child on their health risks and how to advocate their needs.

You don't give other people's kids medicine without checking first! And it's arrogant to assume that other parents are going to agree with your judgement all the time.

Yes I would. I would ask for parent/guardian's accept before handing out any medication to a minor.

A 10 year old child?
Really?

The child is left in her care with contact info on a parent. Not left with a concent to handle health issues.

10 year olds are not idiots. They’re plenty old enough to understand and communicate to other people what they can and cannot have.

If it was late at night maybe she assumed you were asleep?

YABU. Your child is 10 years old, not a toddler. The mum would have presumably checked in with her to make sure she hadn’t already had it within the last 4 hours.

I mean, she took care of your child and you’re whining about it??

I would never leave a child again with a person not asking for concent to treat my child with medication.
Fair enough you are fine doing it but don't make the assumption all parents/guardians are.

Exactly, thank you!

I don’t think that would be a great loss to the parent holding the sleepover.

Of course she shouldn't, especially ibuprofen for reasons that go beyond allergies (e.g. did she make sure it was taken with food as ibuprofen shouldn't really be had on an empty stomach, is the child asthmatic as ibuprofen can be an issue for asthmatics, had she had ibuprofen before to know she was ok with).

Paracetamol is less of a big deal but it's still nobody's business to medicate someone else kid for whom they don't know their medical history when parents are readily available. Different if you couldn't get hold of them and had to make a decision alone, I'd say it was fine in that situation.

You’ve obviously not heard of gillick competency, where a child will be given a vaccine at school without their parents consent if they are judged to be old enough to decide whether or not they want to have it. This is often not much older than 10. Certainly at 11 and older.

A teensy bit of ibuprofen is neither here nor there.

i can’t believe how controlling some parents are.

Likewise.

At 10 the child is old enough to have a say it is their body after all

Personally i’d have zero issue if a parent gave my child medication if they were in pain. But I would personally check with a parent first, not just give it.

Even if a child is considered Gillick competent it is still generally advisable to encourage them to involve their parents.

And this isn't a Gillick situation with professional involved but a playdate.

It’s ibuprofen not morphine ffs.

it’s something you can buy off the shelf and does not need to be checked by a pharmacist.