To find this an utterly crass term to send someone you are dating

[Datingagain25]

I’ve had 5 dates with a man, so far so good. We were intimate after date 5 when he came back to mine. He was obviously drunk last night and we were messaging back and forth.

He said ‘do you know what I can’t wait to do to you next time’. I obviously replied to ask what. To which the reply was ‘tongue punch your fart box’

My friends were not lying when they said dating isn’t for the faint hearted😷

Would you also be grossed out, or see it is a compliment? Which is what he said when I challenged!

God only on mumsnet would this turn into a bunfight about whether rimming is acceptable. If you don’t like it, don’t do it and keep your judgemental and poorly informed ranting to yourself.

There are two actual issues here:

The way you sensitively negotiate whether your sexual partner would be up for doing something (especially someone you don’t know well and have only had sex with once) is not by drunk text and not by framing it as ‘what I’d like to do to you’. Makes me question his judgement and his understanding of gaining consent.

The language is obviously puerile and childish. Again, makes me question his judgement, maturity and whether he even cares about presenting himself as attractive and whether he respects you.

After one shag, I would probably bin him off. You get the ick for a reason IME.

I will never be trying it. Never.😳

Christ i couldn't see him again. Utterly vile.

And you don't have to!! Nobody's asking you to, I assume

Yes and yes.

In vino veritas. You know it.

Disgusting man. And after 5 dates. No respect at all

Oh gosh that’s vile but also kinda funny. What a random ridiculous thing to say 😂 if he was drunk and he isn’t usually like that I’d probably forgive it once. He must have been mortified the next day. If I saw elements of this crassness creeping in again I’d have a rethink. Dh and I say some really gross things to each other in daily conversation but we at least made the effort to pretend to be pleasant during the dating phase.

Oh dear… not the text you want to get. It did make me laugh out loud though 🤣

All of them? Even the ones you don't know very well? The mums at the school gate? Your relatives? You'd need to ask a lot of people to be able to say with certainty that it is or isn't common.

I have no idea if it's actually common or not btw. Just amazed that so many people seem to know it definitely it isn't.

Disgusting. He wouldn’t be near any part of me ever again.
Not the act, you understand, the absolutely cringe making language. Makes him sound that he has the IQ of a potato.
A grown man putting that in a text… 🤮🤮🤮

’see it as a compliment’ ?!?

what the absolute f?

I guess it could be construed as a compliment on her personal hygiene? 😂

Actually, utter coarseness and crudeness is very much a turn on for some men - I have heard 'can I have a tit wank?' and 'ohhh, give us a gobble' from two different men. They were really surprised when I said no and went home. Each of them said to me, 'I thought you were a woman of the world.'

like a few people have suggested - I wonder if someone got hold of his phone?

And yet I still manage to have an opinion on it. Which is that it's a truly grim thing to do..

Still none of your business.

Is it not massive turn off if your partner has the kind of mates that do this though?

I’ve heard from him today and he hasn’t said that/made any excuses. He just said he was drunk and got carried away. Also that he really likes me and hopes to make amends.

I’ve told him I didn’t appreciate the crudeness and that if he wants to do something in that sense then there’s an adult way to discuss it.

And yet I still manage to find it truly grim

Its actually all of our business because the question was posted on AIBU on mumsnet!!

Modern day Chaucer

The drinking to the point where he says and does things he regrets is the biggest concern here.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤮🤮🤮still revolting however good her hygiene! So gross

Well he works on a building site so you know you're not exactly dealing with mensa material.