Fed up with ladish DP and his mate

[Hauelzk]

Couples night out yesterday - we got the train to the next city, and got the last one home. A boozy evening, really nice time.

DP and this particular friend are big in to their football and can be a bit ‘ladish’ after a few drinks. I roll me eyes usually as does his mates wife.

The station platform was really busy and a staff member was trying to move people. He did become a bit abrupt and some people accused him of being rude, I think he was just stressed.

Anyway, he kind of tripped and just about stopped himself from falling over.

Lots of people cheered, and then DP and his mate started a football chant aimed at him - “you fat bastard” which some others joined in with.

I felt sorry for the bloke. DP says he was being rude so got some deserved stick and it was ‘only lighthearted’.

Am I being a killjoy as he put it?

Your DP sounds like a bit of a t**t. I hope you don't ever have children with this man because that's not the kind of parent we need in this world

Sorry but your husbands a dickhead. That poor guy just doing his job, on a night shift, loads of drunk people and then that on top.

Let’s just look at the facts. A man was doing his job, trying to control a lot of rowdy people on a railway platform (potential H&S risk), alone and unsupported, and your partner decided to shout abuse at him when he stumbled (there’s no such thing as lighthearted abuse). If it’d been a woman and they’d started shouting sexist or mysogynistic abuse at her would that just be banter too?

Doesnt matter what industry he works in, your partner needs to learn to respect other people.

Given you’re on MN I’m going to assume you’re a parent. Do you have boys? Make sure not to let them grow up like this. Do you have girls? Consider whether you’d want them going out with a man who behaves like this.

He's lucky he didn't find himself in trouble. There are signs all over public transport saying people abusing staff will be prosecuted.

Perhaps they have him on CCTV and will be knocking on his door sometime soon.

He sounds like a thug.

That’s no excuse whatsoever. Abuse is abuse. There’s no such thing as banter, it’s just a word people use to deflect from what’s really happening. Your partner is ‘one of those’ kind of men. The kind women dread having to interact with.

He sounds like a bully. I couldn’t put up with this.

This is a disgusting way to treat somebody simply trying to do their job. Your DP and his mate were likely school bullies who have yet to grow out of it.

@cockadoodledandy or the human race in general.
These types of fuckers always think they're hilarious and onlookers just think 'shut the fuck up idiot'

This.
I have an old house that was fully renovated and had lots of construction and trades people through it, and I thought without exception, they were extremely decent, hard working people.

I'm a good cook and always fed whomever did work here, really well ( i found it really cemented the highest quality of work if they were treated to great pizzas, toasties, home baking and great coffee!) They really did an incredible job and were so appreciative.

I could no more imagine any of them behaving as the OP describes.

One glorious day mid winter I had two long retractable lines of washing out and I left the house to meet a friend.
While I was out rain came from nowhere and the guys in the house that day ran out and brought it in.
Total stars.
That's MY experience.

NOT thugs who bully and terrorise a poor man just trying to do his job and keep people safe.

Dregs of society more like.

My DH is pretty laddish, loves pints, pubs and sports etc. but he's a nice guy. He's always the one to come to people's defence, if he saw someone fall or trip he'd be asking if he was okay, not mocking him...even after many pints. That's just nasty!

He must have some idea of health and safety then … or he’s very bad at his job! Assume the guy he abused was trying to keep everyone safe?!?

Sorry but your DP sounds like a vile abusive pr1ck who can't take his alcohol to be honest. Someone is trying to do their job surrounded by drunk idiots and he gets verbally abused.

I work in the building industry. I’m a massive football fan. I don’t bully or mock people trying to do their job. I’m not sure why you think either of those things are an excuse or a reason.

He did it because he’s an unpleasant knob. I couldn’t be with someone like that.

How horrible. The poor staff man. I don't like your DP.

What an absolute arse, the guy was just doing guano! Ffs your partner is a dick!

He’s mean.

And if he calls you a killjoy then he doesn’t want to change. Think carefully about what you do now.

He's a bully.

Your DP is an a-hole

No. Your DP was loutish and intimidating. Imagine how the poor station supervisor felt, trying to do his job and keep everyone safe while being shouted at and ridiculed.

I think this is a really bad indicator tbh, there’s a latent bully in your partner. Won’t be nice when he starts taking you down and shouting “You fat bitch” to you in front of his mates in a few year’s time.

My husband and his mates are also laddish, love football and will put away 8-10 pints on a night out. They would never behave this way, and if they’d been on that platform they’d have politely tried to calm things and defended the station guy.

I work in the construction industry and can confirm this is not banter and not normal. Your husband is a dick. End of. Please don’t make excuses for him!

I'd have been extremely embarrassed if my DP behaved like that

What horrid behaviour from a grown man. I wouldn’t be living with someone who acts like that! Urghh!

Is he unable to discern WHEN robust behaviour is suitable and when not?

Is he aware that calling someone fat is bullying?

He sounds as though he has some difficulties with understanding and learning

When I catch a train, particularly later in the evening, I usually have a look around to try and work out who I wouldn't want to be in a carriage with- I'm sure a lot of women do this, for safety if nothing else.

Rest assured that on this occasion, it would have been your group that I would have been trying to avoid.

Wow he's a catch...