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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fed up with ladish DP and his mate

225 replies

Hauelzk · 02/05/2026 09:43

Couples night out yesterday - we got the train to the next city, and got the last one home. A boozy evening, really nice time.

DP and this particular friend are big in to their football and can be a bit ‘ladish’ after a few drinks. I roll me eyes usually as does his mates wife.

The station platform was really busy and a staff member was trying to move people. He did become a bit abrupt and some people accused him of being rude, I think he was just stressed.

Anyway, he kind of tripped and just about stopped himself from falling over.

Lots of people cheered, and then DP and his mate started a football chant aimed at him - “you fat bastard” which some others joined in with.

I felt sorry for the bloke. DP says he was being rude so got some deserved stick and it was ‘only lighthearted’.

Am I being a killjoy as he put it?

OP posts:
Usernamenotav · 04/05/2026 12:07

Hauelzk · 04/05/2026 11:52

Thanks all, I’ve had a busy weekend so just logged in and a quick glance at the poll means I feel vindicated.

I will tell him again that he needs to remember he isn’t on the terraces at football, so to save the laddish behaviour until then!

So you think it's OK to treat people like this when he's watching football?

Lmnop22 · 04/05/2026 12:10

Hauelzk · 04/05/2026 11:52

Thanks all, I’ve had a busy weekend so just logged in and a quick glance at the poll means I feel vindicated.

I will tell him again that he needs to remember he isn’t on the terraces at football, so to save the laddish behaviour until then!

This would be an under reaction in my eyes on your part…

Mere1 · 04/05/2026 12:12

Hauelzk · 04/05/2026 11:52

Thanks all, I’ve had a busy weekend so just logged in and a quick glance at the poll means I feel vindicated.

I will tell him again that he needs to remember he isn’t on the terraces at football, so to save the laddish behaviour until then!

‘Laddish’ excuses it. It’s loutish behaviour. Not acceptable anywhere.

Duvetdayneeded · 04/05/2026 12:33

Your dh is truly vile scum.

Mousewoman · 04/05/2026 12:38

My ex (and still good friend) was a train guard, the abuse they have to deal with is horrible- he got another job in the end as it was effecting him mentally, and included threats of violence. This is terrible behaviour towards another human being.

PloddingAlong21 · 04/05/2026 12:42

I don't even think it’s football laddish behaviour - they’re all morons who act that way too.

Eightfor15 · 04/05/2026 12:54

Duvetdayneeded · 04/05/2026 12:33

Your dh is truly vile scum.

So is she, judging by the inadequate response. She's somehow managed to not read 200 posts slating the cunt she is shacked up with.

Fucking vermin, all four of them. These people are allowed to vote and procreate. No wonder the country is in the state it's in.

NeedATreat · 04/05/2026 12:57

Hauelzk · 04/05/2026 11:52

Thanks all, I’ve had a busy weekend so just logged in and a quick glance at the poll means I feel vindicated.

I will tell him again that he needs to remember he isn’t on the terraces at football, so to save the laddish behaviour until then!

Imagine having such low standards that you’re willing to put up with this guy so long as he stops being an embarrassing arsehole in most public places and instead just restricts it to the football stands.

Applett · 04/05/2026 13:24

Hauelzk · 04/05/2026 11:52

Thanks all, I’ve had a busy weekend so just logged in and a quick glance at the poll means I feel vindicated.

I will tell him again that he needs to remember he isn’t on the terraces at football, so to save the laddish behaviour until then!

And women on MN wonder why they end up with vile abusive pigs that are shit husbands and fathers?🙄

Nogimachi · 04/05/2026 13:34

Hauelzk · 04/05/2026 11:52

Thanks all, I’ve had a busy weekend so just logged in and a quick glance at the poll means I feel vindicated.

I will tell him again that he needs to remember he isn’t on the terraces at football, so to save the laddish behaviour until then!

Lady, you’ve been warned. I hope you read some of the posts. It’s loutish, not laddish, and has no place on or off terraces.
If he’s capable of speaking to the train guard that way, he’s capable of being truly vile to you in a few years when the attraction has worn off. Don’t say no one told you…

Besidemyselfwithworry · 04/05/2026 13:36

SethBrogan · 02/05/2026 10:00

Your partner is not “laddish”, he’s a pathetic bully.

And you are ok with someone who behaves like this?
I wouldn’t be.

AStonedRose · 04/05/2026 14:17

SteveHill · 03/05/2026 19:50

There are also decent men in the world, and I suggest you find one.

Unfortunately, very few. And they are already with the kinds of women who won't put up with this shit.

AStonedRose · 04/05/2026 14:18

Hauelzk · 04/05/2026 11:52

Thanks all, I’ve had a busy weekend so just logged in and a quick glance at the poll means I feel vindicated.

I will tell him again that he needs to remember he isn’t on the terraces at football, so to save the laddish behaviour until then!

OP, so you're happy with him doing this, as long as you're not there?

Give me strength.

PersephonePomegranate · 04/05/2026 14:24

Hauelzk · 04/05/2026 11:52

Thanks all, I’ve had a busy weekend so just logged in and a quick glance at the poll means I feel vindicated.

I will tell him again that he needs to remember he isn’t on the terraces at football, so to save the laddish behaviour until then!

But that's who he is. All he'll be doing is masking when he's around you. Are you OK with that?

ASimpleLampoon · 04/05/2026 14:26

Your partner is vile. I hope you leave before he does similar to you.

toiletpaperthief · 04/05/2026 15:51

Hauelzk · 04/05/2026 11:52

Thanks all, I’ve had a busy weekend so just logged in and a quick glance at the poll means I feel vindicated.

I will tell him again that he needs to remember he isn’t on the terraces at football, so to save the laddish behaviour until then!

The bar is low on MN 😩

Nearly50omg · 04/05/2026 17:02

Hauelzk · 04/05/2026 11:52

Thanks all, I’ve had a busy weekend so just logged in and a quick glance at the poll means I feel vindicated.

I will tell him again that he needs to remember he isn’t on the terraces at football, so to save the laddish behaviour until then!

How about NEVER behaving like a thug?!!😳😳 how low is your bar??

OneShyQuail · 04/05/2026 18:03

Hauelzk · 04/05/2026 11:52

Thanks all, I’ve had a busy weekend so just logged in and a quick glance at the poll means I feel vindicated.

I will tell him again that he needs to remember he isn’t on the terraces at football, so to save the laddish behaviour until then!

Yeah that will do the trick 🙄🤦‍♀️

LizandDerekGoals · 04/05/2026 21:46

Hauelzk · 04/05/2026 11:52

Thanks all, I’ve had a busy weekend so just logged in and a quick glance at the poll means I feel vindicated.

I will tell him again that he needs to remember he isn’t on the terraces at football, so to save the laddish behaviour until then!

That‘s a ridiculous response though, isnt it.

You are asking him to change. He wont change. That is who he is.

TimeFlysWhenYoureHavingRum · 04/05/2026 22:01

Lots of people work in construction (including me) and I can assure you that sort of bullying crass behaviour is not normal or acceptable.
Please dont tar an idustry with your partners revolting brush.

Shinyandnew1 · 04/05/2026 22:09

Hauelzk · 04/05/2026 11:52

Thanks all, I’ve had a busy weekend so just logged in and a quick glance at the poll means I feel vindicated.

I will tell him again that he needs to remember he isn’t on the terraces at football, so to save the laddish behaviour until then!

Blimey, talk about excusing his behaviour.

Yes, as long as he is only an arsehole at football, that’s all just peachy 😳

Papoy · 04/05/2026 22:12

Don't minimise it by calling it "laddish behaviour" ! He is a bully and I think you deserve better ......

Pinkissmart · 04/05/2026 22:22

OP there is no appropriate place for his behaviour. Don’t you expect more?

arethereanyleftatall · 04/05/2026 22:30

I’d suggest a name change op for when you come on in five years time to complain about him so that you can say ‘I had absolutely no idea he would be like this, I didn’t have a crystal ball.’

PurpleSky300 · 04/05/2026 22:57

Mortifying. I would drop him like hot shit. Raise your bar.

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